Lonely part of me,
***-starved and kamikaze,
Will need only you.

You always ask me
Why I care for you so much.
Simply, I love you.

I apologize for the both of us

you for forgetting so easily
and me for not letting things go

you for not listening to anything I don't say
and me for not saying anything


I'm sorry for trying to change you
and I'm sorry that I let you change me

I'm sorry for apologizing too much

You really loved me,
Didn't you? Darling, dear, love.
(Past tense slices souls.)

Hello, love.
Here we are again
At the end of a page,
End of an era.
The minutes are flying by now,
Being eaten as the crow flies.
I don't want to go.
But I must.
I miss you.
I love you.
Look at all the things that should have been
But never were.
I miss you.
I love you.
Goodbye, love.

Another lonely night,
And I'm staring at the vast black sky.
It is the eve of my twentieth year
And I cannot help but compare it to yours.
A text at midnight; a present wrapped with a bow;
An I love you waiting, if you wanted it.
Here I sit, waiting as the hours roll by,
Jumping every time the phone rings
Because I hope not hope it is you.
You call me up so often, usually,
Just to break me like a promise.
You are back in the country,
I hear. Back to see me? No.
It is the eve of my twentieth year, dear,
And now I think I should stop writing to you.
This has gone on long enough, don't you think?
It is the eve of my twentieth year,
And a part of me left broken and unruly,
Not yet healed by mountains of therapy
And kisses and love,
Is aching only for you.
It is the eve of my twentieth year
And a part of me knows
That tomorrow I can **** myself.
No broken promises on my part.

You know it's bad
When a simple
Two-note ringtone
Feels like
A shard of glass
Slowly edging its way
Into my heart.

That ringtone means
Trying not to anger you;
Dancing around you
To keep things okay.
But it also means
That you still
Want to talk to me.

And the really ******* stupid thing
Is that that means
More than his I love yous,
More than nights spent with him,
More than countless messages from him.
One text from you
Makes everything better

And worse. Again.