Sometimes I conjure
the after after the end:

our plaster cities bent and broken,
entire skylines scythed as flowers,

skyscrapers rent into oblivion,
lofty hotels and office towers

leveled to dark flatline—
the monotone of a final

wind barreling down,
inexorable, with no one

to hear its elegiac howl.

I picture myself ensconced
in an underground parking

garage scrounging to survive,
dismantling abandoned cars

piece by piece to pass the time, or
curled on an improbable mattress

remembering how I once watched
two birds quarreling over a piece

of pizza crust on the sidewalk
as I walked home from work

and thought to myself
as they startled into air

this is not the end.

Sometimes I conjure
the after as it ends:

when in an instant

every last bird rises
into the sky as one—

a cloud of feathers and bone
devoured by a heartless sun.

I have these days
when the light seems far away;
the sun dissolving into a spec of dust.

The silence screams
with such immense intensity
I fear I've gone deaf.

But though the light is far
I still see it, feel it even;
the essence of hope, a thin crease spreading through me.

And I live.
I live!

Waking up
not wanting to wake up,
cruel interlude
from the company
of two,
I fall into
inverse reality
feeling blue.
Lonely
without you.

Whispers
underground,
the sound
of the falling rain,
earth swallows the scream,
this cry let go
in the wind;
the words
I could never say
aloud.

Breathing in.
Breathing out.
Within this aura
of grey silence,
a lone cloud
in the sky;
I search for peace
between this storm
and the next sunrise.

I pretend
you're a figment of
my imagination;
as if nothing
is as it seems.
The scars you left,
laid to slumber;
clothed in amour
of a dream.

no became yes
transition from negative to positive
self-acceptance

At the peak of midnight
sequined eyes peek
wide awake,
soaking up the leak of light
pouring from darkness.

I am drunk and high
as a kite stuck in a tree
a red ballon touching palms
with the clouds;
Ive done too many shots of moonshine,
drank way too many stars.

I am lit.
Extremely intoxicated.
The houseparty upstairs is live.
I can hear it through the wall
and like a pendulum I two step,
solo dancing to the music,
the rhythm of crickets;
intrusive thoughts in my head.

Welcome to insomnia,
the club that never closes,
the city that never sleeps.
Where the mind just keeps
wandering into wonderment,
drunk on belief,
****** on a dream.

Side by side

           a curvature of marrow

                    hardened spines

            holding matter into place

                    like the moon

       you are my center-peace

the light of my world