I'm not one to cry
I'm not one to pout
But I am one to smile without any doubt
Think of it as white out over what I truly feel
Though through all this laughter it's very hard to peel
A wonderful mask to cover up the hate
All the rage held inside till this very date
So if I'm out and about and having a good time
Just know I'm actually feeling as sour as a lime
And off comes the mask in one solid ******
I throw it to the ground and smash it to dust
I can't do it anymore
I can't wear this face
All this time I've been pretending
But all in good taste
I didn't want you all to feel down
Knowing I was depressed while I'd been clowning around
Knowing that I was laughing to keep from crying
While inside I was truly dying
Whether it be my ink black heart
Or my twisted up head
Sometimes I just feel like I'd be better off dead
No more would I be a downer a frowner amongst you
While being held together by the simplest of goo
No more morbid jokes or fake smiles
No more false joy and acting like a child
The old me is gone so wave your goodbyes
I'm sorry I had been feeding you nothing but lies
But when it's over and all said and done
Maybe it's true I was having a little fun
Maybe it wasn't over compensation
But simply some emotional constipation
Maybe now I can comfortably be me
Now that my feelings are all dancing free
Now I realize that my laughter is genuine
Around all of my family and friends
So if you're happy or sad
Don't wear a face
Let it all out and your true friends will embrace
They'll help you through trouble and turmoil
To ensure that your life doesn't spoil
They want you around it's as plain as day
So don't wear that face and choose to stay

My ears ring
As these monsters sing
A lovely song to be sung
A story of ******,rage, and riot
They'll never stop
They can't be silenced
Pinch me I'm dreaming
Cut me I'm screaming
My blade is glistening
And my soul is bleeding
I close my eyes and take a leap of faith
Into the boules of hell I will bathe
It's the pain I crave
All hope for me left behind
A permanent slave
To my own mind
I'm losing control
I'm breaking out of this box
Snap the chains and shatter the locks
And I am blind
To this freedom I've never felt
This home I've never known
Set fire to the cards I've been dealt
And together we roam
It's time to tell my own story
This is my time for guts and glory
As I sit on my rightful thrown
And come to terms with the demons that never leave me alone

Gotta start somewhere
So lets start at home.
Home.
Is where the heart is right?
So where was mine?
Well I shared it a lot,
gave bits and pieces here or there,
came back to get them,
woops, vanished, thin air.
That's fine by me,
Got a pretty big heart anyway,
so I had to start somewhere.

I gave it to my family.
I owe them my life.
It wasn't easy mind you,
full of hardships and strife.
But it's made me tough, the person I needed to be,
but then I found a place, where I could finally see.
That the person that needed love the most, was me.

Yeah selfish as that may seem at first,
there were many times, where crying did no good,
I was rather close to have my bubble burst.
So I started with me, and found my Savior,
He taught me to live life, well, and safe, and be a life with flavor.
Maybe not those exact few words,
nothing few or small at all.
But you know. I started somewhere,
somewhere I started
to enjoy life.

So somewhere I began to smile
smile just a bit more.
Somewhere I knew, I had a lot more open doors.

So somewhere I tell you,
you gotta start there.
If you gotta start anywhere.
Better start
somewhere.

Do you know what it's like,
to be a child?
Remember what it's like,
to know ab-so-lute-ly diddly and squat?
Blibber here, jabber there,
and when we got hungry, blew nothin' but hot air!

But now it's different you see, we can't be children anymore,
at least that's what they tell us, when we leave the front door.
Have to grow up, be brave and strong,
know what's right, to do know wrong.
To grow up, get married, maybe have children of our own.
But there's no difference, we're still children,  then and now, just not as alone.

A child still needs guidance no matter what age,
a child still needs help, no matter the stage.
So don't give up, on you or your own,
because a child still cries, when they feel most alone.

For the sake of the child, that hides in your heart,
don't let your love, ever grow apart.

Sparks
make flames
Flames make fire
Fires are just as hot
just as my inner desires.

Beauty in spaces
      dead echoes
            empty places
crows join hands
      old songs
fatherlands
             feathers entwined
             we dine
                  we cry inside
god lied
      these walls fall
              to the leaders
              the breeders
              the obscene feeders
empty spaces
                        master races
we all
died young

Sometimes...
I lack the inspiration to write

Sometimes...
I want to sit back and,
rather than put pen to paper

I just want to read...
and enjoy the beautiful gems
on display here on HP

But the problem is...
there are too many gems
so many, I fear I won't grasp all
afraid I'd miss out on some,
some of the best ones.

So here goes...
If time passes and
I dont come by your world
its not because I don't care
neither because I'm too busy.

Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed!
So please forgive me
in advance...

I'm sorry