All the times I spent starring at you in the moments your mind ventured away ,
All the times I spent my nights pondering of you in search of the light ,while you slept through the darkness,
All the times I told you I loved you, all these times have decayed into the fabric of gone and forgotten time.
The memories of the nights we spent , the days we had and all the times I was grateful to have you as mine.
Your promises were like flames and our love was the fuel, in the end you were miles away from the explosion and I alone burnt.
All the times you gave me hope when I had none ,
All the times I looked to you for structural  support,
All foolish times,
And I alone was the kingdoms clown for believing you could be different.
A fool is a fool , and I was the biggest of them all.
I'd call our love a curse , a waste of time and detest the moments I spent with you , but a fool is a fool and I'm the biggest of them all.
May happiness find it's way to you , may true love venture to your heart and may you never do to him what has been done on to me.
But a fool is a fool and I'm the biggest of them all so I wish you well but in this grieving moment I do not griev I rejoice in the freedom you gave , and to the memories we made I make a flame to guide me out of the dark and leave to decay in the place you so eagerly left me.

There came a time I closed our doors
A time after you left
For the heart of my heart
I cannot lock the door.
There came a time our treasure chest met its eternal hole
For life of my life I cannot bury it.
They say you love once
If that was true
Why oh why
Do I keep falling in love with you
Everyday , every night and it repeats
My beautiful replay of our edwardian love.
You were my everything and now that my everything is gone I have nothing.
Grieve I grieve more then I should , I hurt more then I should but all I can think and do is only love you.
With sorrowful joy-
Theres a part of me that still thinks of you and whatever fears I have disappears

A white sky haunts me
As the clouds cry a sorrowful
Moment of unkind tears.
Tears that hold a burden for every soul that look's up at the sky and confesses all their sorrows.
I to am one of many who burden the sky ,
With one constant question
"Why?"
"Why not now?"
"Why not soon?"
All the 'why's' but none of the awnsers.
People keep their secrets -
In a box,
In a book,
In a person,
Or
In their hearts,
But I keep my secrets in a place I know is safe, a place no soul will hear it , a place no person will learn it , a place only I hold the key too. A place up in the clouds.
But the biggest secret I hold is the anticipation of waiting for the day I find her along with all my awnsers , the who I question about , the ghost who haunts my dreams the one who will change the world I dreadfully live in.

Someone to want my love
Someone to need me
Someone to be
Someone to appreciate me
Thats all I ever needed
No money
No fame or fortune
No adventure
Just someone.
Never have I felt the feeling of being wanted , needed or loved.
So to myself I ask
So to the public I scream
What is the point ?
The point of calling you mine?
The point of me being yours ?
The point of our relationship?
The point of an us?
If im not needed
If im not wanted
So to the point I conclude
There is no point
Guess thats why its called appreciation.

Looking back at what we had
I close my eyes and look away,
I look away from the memories we made,
I look away from the pain you made.
And then I start to remember when we spoke for hours into the morning light.
When you cried and I broke.
I remember it all.
But I'm ashamed to remember our love , cause I'm just one on the list , not a special one or a meaningful one just another one on the list.
And the pain comes back reminding me after you left you watched me fall apart and did nothing to help , but then again how can you help something you caused.
After everything we've been through I'm ashamed to say I was a fool to love you.
Cause in the end I broke apart falling to pieces hitting the ground and you walked away yet when you fell apart I picked you up , I stood above you when it rained on you, I held you when the world got cold, I I carried you when you gave up hope, I brought the light when darkness to over your might , I'm most ashamed to say I gave you all the love I had and more and you took me for all I got and ran along.

The sun rises
Dawn comes
The dark runs
But so does our love.
A bird comes
he sits
I chase him
But he doesn't run
flying through the air things are herald at him but he doesn't run.
Dusk comes and I hate the bird.
His beautiful multicoloured feathers
His sweet song promises pain
He brings love but when I held him he took my love and flew away.
Betrayal bitter betrayal
Why my love why did you fly into my life and glide away with every thing I have and everything I am.

At the stroke of midnight she cries.
Her cries are not heard ,
Her cries are loudly silent,
The pain creeps into her soul burning her from within,
She breaks slowly inside
She dies slowly inside
She feels alone tonight.
She reaches for death's hands in hope to find salvation ,
I watch her
I scream for her to stop
My scream is loudly silent,
She cuts the last bit of hope away.
I stop her but to little to late I fail to save the hope she sacrificed to find relief in a world of torture.

I pity the masses
I pity the unfortunate
But I count my blessing.
Forgive me my love for I have been ungrateful.
I miss the now memories,  
I miss the old goodnight kisses
The long conversations
The looking into the future we wanted together.
Forgive me my love for I have been ungrateful
I forget to enjoy the blessing of getting a chance to love you
A chance not many are so lucky too.
My love it has been a blessing to have called you mine
Even if it was for a little to short while.
I pity all those who will never know the blessing of getting a chance to love you.
But then again a blessing wouldn't be a blessing if everyone was blessed with it.

he knew his love for her was beyond his existence , he knew that this bond would be the death of him but when she called he ran , when she cried he broke and when she needed him he appeared. his love for her tested at every corner but never wavered , he held strong and gave her his all and he knew she would be the end of him. the night came and he world became dark , she called his name and he ran , racing through time and red lights with dead street lights throwing him in and out of darkness he never stopped , he never slowed he drove and drove he knew her called his and he knew she needed him, he knew this would be the end of him....  He ran into the room , engulfed by the sounds of beeping and screaming he was dazed , where is she ? he ran to the white clothed hero and begged and pleaded with the savior to let him see her, to take him to her but he was denied. he sat in a room full of people but he was never more alone, he lost everyone , he flashed back to the days when the nightmares haunted him , before he met her, before she showed him what it meant to be loved and to love, he knew she would be the end of him but his heart knew she was the one for him. they came for him , they looked at him with sorrow and he knew this was the end of him, he saw her , for the first time he saw her , tubes and wires blood drenched hands but he saw her and he had never seen her more beautiful that night , he had never seen her look more mesmerizing , even the night she wore that black dress and it rained and her got wet and she captured his heart for the first time could not compare to this. she was dying they said,  and his heart sunk , he would make a deal with the devil if he could , he would sell his soul if he knew how , but the devils ears were shut tonight , heaven had closed its doors and he was alone , the depression had taken her away from him more then the cancer did, the pain of seeing her decay cell by cell day by day had changed him , he knew this would be the end of him , he knew that this was his last , he knew this was her last , she touched his hand and the tears began to fall and she smiled and he smiled and he knew this was the last , the last time he saw that twinkle in her eye , the last time he would ever touch her or hug her ever again ...in this life.  he decided long ago that if she goes he goes and she left him, on that gloomy Tuesday night in April she left him...she left the promises of forever they had , she left the dreams they made together , she left him with the choice , love or leave. he walked that night , he walked with the intention of end , he walked to free himself , free himself from the devil within , free himself from the demons that bind him to her. he walked and walked until the waves touched his feet and they felt freeing , they felt warm in the midst of winter they hugged him the ocean called him , it called his name and he followed like the calls of a siren he fell into the arms of the ocean. he sank and the empty deafening silence spoke to him and he heard her voice , he heard her scream swim. he knew she was the end of him he knew she was the end of the his soul but he didn't know she was the end of an era and the freedom of a curse , he knew he had to live , he knew her death meant he lost a love but gained a strength and he knew she was with him because his love for her did not die with the cancer , she did not die with the cancer or blood loss , he knew she lived and he gave her the life , he freed her from the bounds of death and he found his freedom in her death

Everyday I wake up to the cold feeling of a cloudy sky , its been like this since you left, I dread the feeling of my feet reaching for the cold floor , there's no warmth , no light ,this place is nothing but an empty box filled with memories of you and I , every tear that drops is a crack in my heart, all I see is the moment you left , the pain in your eyes and the curse of a love so strong but yet so fragile , every moment I spend thinking of you makes me want to run as far away from my own thoughts , but the voice of pain won't let me shut it out. I beg myself not to give up , I make a promise that you'll come back but maybe our love story was a sonnet short and sweet. Maybe our love stories not over , maybe you'll fight for me , but enough maybes , I beg you come back , I plead with you come home , let's fix our castle with broken walls , we never crumble and fall apart , our walls only collapsed. I cannot live without you , I cannot breathe my own air as long as your not around , I fear myself more then I fear what's hidden in the dark, but then again you are my light in the dark.

They told me ,
"She'll come as quickly as she'll leave",
They told me ,
"You'll love her more then the sun loves the dawn"
They told me
"She'll be your light like the moon is to the night"
They told me
"She'll break your soul more then your heart"
They told me
"She'll love you for as long as she's there but when she leaves so will her love."
I curse the day I saw our future more then I curse the way I miss you.
I lack nothing in my empty life.
God has blessed me with so much so true.
But
He has taken away my one and only and that is why I miss you.
I beg of you
I plead yet again to you
Please
Please
Love me again.
Let the clairvoyant mistress who foresaw my doom be a fraud and come again to hold me before the cold takes hold of me.

is this love worth it ,
is it worth the effort will it last or will it end
the same way the others did
, so much confusion so much doubt
so much love yet so little trust ,
is this the meaning of love to be
hurt and to love again with the fear of being hurt again
what is this
why is it so hard to know whether she loves truly or whether she
loves falsely
whether her love is honest and real or another game
im yet to play.

i cant hold on anymore
i cant hope anymore
its only been a year but it feels like decades without you.
I scream into the darkness of the night in hope to find the light you once shun on me to keep me warm.
I hold onto the cold in hope of finding the warmth you once held me with.
I cant see anything anymore , not love , not happiness , not even a future which is bright.
All i see is pitch black emptiness , where i'm going from here is unknown.
Do i care ?
No. I cant live a life without you , im not strong enough without you , i'm not good enough for you and i cant seam to get over you.
Im at the end , no more hope , no more trying to cope without you.
If the world comes crumbling beneath me , i wont run i'll fall in with the memory of you.
If the sky falls i wont run i'll be crushed with the last thought of our memories.
If I move away from you , i shall be taken away , i shall loose myself , my humanity , i'll loose whatever i have keeping me , me

as I look into the mirror , I see not only my reflection , along with my reflection is my dark side my demon that I will soon loose control of. I'm dying ,my soul is broken along with my heart and the demons patience soon will be paid of when it finally has control. People will soon see the repercussions of their doings to me they will meet the person ive been trying to conceal, the person who follows me in my shadow , the deap dark merciless fool who lives and feasts on the pain of others. I give up on fighting against him , lately it seams his stronger then I am , strong enough to fight the world and dark enough to destroy the people who try to break me.

I love you, but I'm afraid of loving you , I feel like I'm doomed to a history bound to repeat itself , a path of pain I never chose to walk on. You say words but how do I believe you how do I believe what you don't show , how do I know loving you won't be the same as putting a bullet through me. I don't know why but I can't stop loving you , I can't get through my doubt and pain grows like an infection. But sadly all I see is loving you might be the end of me

I  wonder why I still morn the loss of you my great love for it seams like forever ago we were together.
The sweet silent words you once spoke now haunts these empty hallways of my mind and yet-
All I see , hear and feel is you and when the wind blows at night and I scream with all my might I hear the silent whisper of our love falling apart and I'm reminded by the drops of rain falling down my face that now forever is over.

One by one they come.
Slowly.
Each with a burden different to the next.
They gather around it
With all their hope in only a few coins.
They throw it with all their hope and they wish for it to come true.
I am too one of the foolish few.
I've prayed,
I've made a deal with the devil,
I've done the unimaginable ,
All for you my love
But now I must do the last of what I can do.
As my hope glides through the air allowing gravity to pull it into liquid despair
I can't help but realise -
Our love was like a coin thrown into a fountain with all hope of a wish coming true.
It was no more than a gambit
A shamble
It was as good as placing a bet on red in roulette
It was a fifty fifty bet
So now I'll leave the fountain to do the rest.

Beauty beyond what the naked eye can see.
Hidden behind spectacles of tinny particles a warm frozen icy Kingdom falls.
Gracefully like her it caught my eye.
Astonishing like her it captures my being of reality.
And like the frozen warm snowflake I fell,
Down to reality through the frozen blizzard.
Bit my bit I froze,
Inch by inch I cracked,
A once beautiful form no more than winters terror.
No more than a frozen warm snowflake left to be alive in death.

This relationship is like a walk in a desert , feels like I've been walking forever,
feels like the sun got me down
feels like you the hot  unkind sand enjoys my pain
feels like all I am is another just passing by
feels like all you want is to drag me down and watch me lay for waste as I decay and slowly suffer a painful death, but the shame is on me for loving you and not being able to let go guess I love the pain and I guess I give up

The hardest goodbyes are the ones where we know are needed and the ones we know are real and the last words you'll ever tell that person, we dont want to Say goodbye but we must , we don't know how to tell the person why we are leaving only knowing its for a good cause , but goodbyes are more painful then daggers through the chest coz we know we never gonna see them again and in that moment of departure a tear will fall a tear with words hidden in It words to painful to say and to complicated to understand so we tell them with a tear drop and we walk away with the goodbye of never coming back

Sometimes I and think of all the little things we had,  of the time we spent together , the kisses we shared , the memories we made and the love we had. Maybe it was our little dance or short song that had to quickly end , but I know that I practice our moves and listen to us sing over and over just to get some closure on the fact your gone and we're done. Maybe it was my ego maybe it me was taking whatever we had for granted but as they say you only when something is gone will you truly understand its value.
Goodbye my love goodbye our memories always remember I love till the day I die

You
I see you
I see you all around
But you make not a sound
You
I see you when I dream
But I do not sleep
You
I see you where you're not supposed to be seen
You .
Your not real
You can't be
I lost you
Your not real
You cant be
Maybe I'm crazy
They told me I am crazy
Am I crazy ?
Why do you come and go
Why are you at every corner
Why are you so real yet vanish into thin air.
No you're not real
You can't be
It's my insanity
It's my insanity it has to be

Like a light you gave me guidance.
I question my decision-
Was I wrong to fall for you ?
is my heart wrong for calling to you?
But like a test I cannot change the answers ,nor can I change the outcome.
Am I ruining a friendship
Or
Am I opening a relationship
Either choice that comes I hope neither takes you away from me my love.
For after more time then I care to count
My silent heart has found its sound.
My silent words choose to speak aloud but my fear still remains safe and sound.

to love with a love beyond comparison
is to love with a love a love unseen before
hold dear those who hold your heart dear
keep fear of the ones who seam unclear
a heart was built to love with love not to break like the promises one makes.

They ask me what my dying words will be , they
ask me what will my biggest regret be on my
death bed, what my death wish will be , they ask me all these questions of
death yet I'm alive .
But death comes just as swift as the wind , just as fast as the waves on the shore , death has no
time limit like us.
They say before you die your life flashes right
before your eyes , all your regrets , all your
dreams everything layed out like a red carpet.
If I die tomorrow , or if I die today , whenever I die I know I will see you.
I will see your beauty
I will hear your laugh as seldom as I did hear it
I will see your eyes
But most of all I'll see your smile
The one thing that always held me now in your absence.
On cold dark nights you would hold me tight ,
you would smile and say "its okay I'm here" , on
rainy days where thunder and lightening took
over the sky you smiled and said "its okay I'm
here" through every up and down you held me and smiled , holding the pain , fear , the sorrow
away from me.
If dying tomorrow means seeing your smile
again then I shall gladly die everyday
If dying tomorrow means seeing you again I
shall gladly go towards it If dying means being with you in my memories
then its not dying to me its living everyday for
aslong as I remember you.
If I could go back I would hold you every time
you said " it's okay I'm here" and tell you how
much I love you If I could go back I would tell you more often
than I did how much I love you
If I could go back I'd spend everyday-
every minute of everyday and night making you
smile.
Our time together had an expiration date but my love for you never did and never will. My awnser
to their question of death are
My biggest regret will be you not at my side
My dying wish will be to see you , and see you
smile again
my dying words will be your name.
If I die tomorrow before my soul departs from this world I will come find you and hold you one
final time.
I just wish and pray that someday you come
back and smile at me so you can make me whole
again.

A fools tale

They say we are born in pairs. Destined to be loved , destined to spend it with a significant other.
I've seen lovers find each other in the darkest of moments while I found myself alone. I've seen families come together in devastating ruins in a war stricken country but seen mine close their doors on me.
The books of God says we are made in pairs , the bible , the Quran , the Torah all speak of a love conceived in heaven but all I've found is hook ups sent from hell. They say love is pure and kind , I say ******* love is nothing but the door to torture and pain while falling is the key , the key I've so willingly turned many times. They say it's all about time , when the time is right ,when it's meant to be it will be , maybe when I'm dead and gone I'll be brought back as a rose, loved by some hated by others , can't be touched only plucked and given as a sign of love then left to dry away and die because that's all love has ever been to me a dying rose. I've heard them all say they love me , they gave me the same look and then walk away from me. So much for the love at first sight fairy tale *******, all the books , all the songs and movies have it " no one like you baby". Promise after promise I watched them break it but now you what makes you different ? What makes you the one to fix the broken parts and heal the scars that's been carved into my soul by the hot white burning lies it's been fed by the corrupted love it's been given ? nothing , he will come along and smile and then I'll be forgotten because that's all I've ever been the temporary guy , the one before the one. Left to fall and land on my own , the plane takes off but I fly solo. I see no point in putting effort into you or into this because in the end the three letter word will be said and a sappy story of " it's me not you" will be given with false pitiful eyes. Time after time , my faith never wavered but today I have none , none in you or your words, " I like you, your different" I am but you're not. All that's different is the way you'll end up leaving. Call me bitter but I see you here holding hands and looking at each other the way some of us would love to be looked at but all I can say is that blind lovers look at each more lovingly then I have. I envy you , I envy the fact you can wake up tomorrow and be gone and that would affect people , I envy the fact you can sleep tonight knowing that he or she next to you loves you , I envy the fact when I wake up tomorrow all that will be different is a time and day. Be patient they say she will come, yeah she will come but then she will go just as quick. No point in trying , no point in hoping or seeing myself with her in an hour from now let alone tomorrow because sadly my life and your life isn't the same because come tomorrow I'll seek meaning when all you have to do is wake up to one, I'll long for a home that won't ever exist with someone that doesn't exist and you'll wake up closer to it or in it ,only you know the blessings you have. This sounds like some sappy broken hearted fools tale of longing for a lover. It's a sappy broken hearted fools deepest thoughts and broken words of how he'd love to have a person be his person , trust him , love him , be with him and stand by him but like his name suggests his a broken hearted fool who believes in a fairytale that only exists in the world of an electronic box throwing him crafted pictures taken from a page a script written to give him false hope or ink on a page his crafted to be closer to his made up fairytale that he so longs for. And as for you , you aren't here and do you know why ? Because you are the same , you feed me lies give me hope and then ****** it all way , you do what she did ,you make me smile , make me feel , make me want to live again and feel as if I have a meaning ,as if I mean something to you ,if this time perhaps it's real and your words aren't as hollow as my soul. But letting you in will end in the same result ,letting my guard down will be an invitation to new Scars a self inflicted torture but maybe I love the pain , maybe the solitude and sorrow coupled with the torture of an absent lover covered by an illusion of one day sharing a warm home with her had gotten me addicted to the sharp pain of pleasure that tortures my being every time I see lovers love each other. You aren't here to hear this because in the end I am to you what today is to you , just another . My words are your food but the taste buds on your tongue will crave another for that's all I am and will ever be is a phase , a phase never to be loved or wanted.

If I have to use an hourglass to measure how long it will take for you to come back the clear crystal glass will be kept warm with a blanket of dust covering it for centuries.
I am that hourglass , going back and forth watching the grains fall hour after hour and with each hour that passes so does my hope of you returning.
I ponder on the concept of you coming back and us being what we once were , but trust and and faith are like glass once its broken picking up the pieces is as good as self harm.
An hour glass is shaped like an infinity sign but our infinity broke when you walked out.
I do love you , that is no lie , I do miss you that is the truth, but I cannot be with you as I once was and that is the sorrowful part. If our love was an hourglass I would turn back the sands and stop you , I would come after you or maybe I'd stop myself from loving you but our love is not an hourglass meant to run on forever instead its a sundial when dusk came our love ended and when dawn came a new time began for me and you -my yesterday become history.

Like a shooting star
You came in the blink of an eye
Made me wish
Made me hope
then disappeared leaving me with no more then a wish.
How ?
How do I let go of you?
How do I say goodbye
To all the memories , the love , ?
How do I say goodbye and let go of us ?
Like a bird I'll lose my wings
Like a fish I'll swallow water
Like glass I'll shatter.
No one's going to love you like I do
No one's going to hold you like I did.
But no one's going to put me through what you did...
As painful as it tasted I loved the pain
As cold as it is I love the frost bite
As broken as I am I love putting myself together
But a piece of me will always be with you
Like a pendent keep it safe and wear it on your chest for every heartbeat you have I'll feel it on my half for the signal shall never be low.

Time no longer has value
It once took hours to do what merely takes seconds
It once stopped for the lovers who first met now let's them walk right past each other.
I can't help ease my heart from the question you fear to ask.
The question your heart holds but eyes ask,
The question I wish I could truly awnser .
"How long will you love me?"
I can't give an exsact date or time if any .
But I know this for as long as there's a beat in my heart I will love you,
As long as there's fish in the water I'll keep coming back to you
As long there's life on this earth I'll protect you
As long as there's life in me I'll always be by you
I can't gurantee any of this but I can promise that for as long as you and I are together I'll always , always love you

Forget what you know.
Forget about the saying:
"If they love you , they won't only share the good times with you"
Love , true love is not a feeling or an emotion its a power , the only supernatural thing that we have physical proof of.
If they love you and if you want to know that they truly love you
Then they will fight with you,
They will get annoyed with you
They look at you speaking to others and smile and say she's mine
They won't just stand by you in tough times , they'll break the tough times ,
They won't enjoy the good times they'll make the good times
When the love is true they'll flirt with other girls but infront of you,
When the love is true they'll speak to other girls about you,
When the love is true they won't break down your enemies they'll make them your friends.
When the love is true they won't stand and wipe your tears away they'll stand and cry next to you.
When the love is true and someone hurts you they'll end up in jail only for you.
When the love is true there is no addiction or drug or pleasure to strong to give up for you.
There is no true defenition of love or true love but when the love is true they'll tell you everyday I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you Monotonously telling you I'm going to marry you.

It's the opposite of light , a dark place only some will enjoy.
it comes with its name it comes with the night.
I prefer the darkness over light ,
why you ask ?
It doesn't lie , it doesn't feed false hopes , it tells the truth ,
in it we find secrets , we find demons and ghosts, fear brings out the truth.
just as life is a big illusion so is light , they say light is at the end of the tunnel , but we walk for years with no luck , I for one think its time to best embrace the ****.
Accept the darkness and forget the light and suddenly your path will open up in plan sight , seak the truth and you will find no light but insted a darkness so true so bright it will become your guiding light.

Days go by but I still stand there slowly walking through the lonely streets of this dead city now that your gone there's no more plan.
I once woke up to sight of you in my arms now I wake up from dreams when there was a time you were in my arms
Your laugh haunts the halls of this.  house where we once shared a love for the ages.
What happened to us I'll never know , where you drifted to I'll never find and why you ran I'll never understand.
I guess all I can say now is
I miss you
I miss you like the waves miss the moon
I miss you like a sun flower misses the sun in the icy depths of winter
I miss you like the lonely sailor misses his home.
I can use all the descriptions in the world but they will all mean the same I miss you.
Everyday I miss you I sink deeper and deeper soon will I reach the sea bed , a place where there's no need for words or explanations.
I dream of the day you come back but then again its just a dream.
Along with you is my light my hope my will and my love for you are my life and I miss you, cause your the one that I want the one that I need the one that I have to have just to succeed , when I saw you that first time I knew it was destiny , I remember when I first held in my arms and I knew it was real now where's all those days gone just disappeared like a dream , every night is a dream and everyday is a nightmare. I need you and I miss you and I love you and I really need to hold because my souls falling apart come back baby let's fix our world and stop this apocalypse and keep our paradise forever.

When I had you I found comfort in you ,
When I lost you I found comfort in your memory ,
When I forgot you I found comfort in my dreams of you ,
When I stopped sleeping I found comfort in my hallucinations of you ,
When I lost my sanity I found our broken love in my insanity ,
now im on the break of insanity and I found my broken heart still beating the song of our broken love  waiting for the insanity to claim me.
Why was our love written on broken stones ,
Why was our love written in doomed  stars,
Why did we fall in love only to implode.
Why did I fall in love
Why did I fall in love
Why did I fall in love
Why did I fall in love
Why did I fall in love
Why did I fall in love
Why did I fall in love with you.

Her sky covers the tall monuments of man , she holds secrets that we are to afraid to tell , she speaks of stories of days when gold was pulled from her roots.
Her name , her place all in the mits of beauty , she is a world class city whos streets are still yet to be touched by my feet.
I've seen her at sun rise and at sun set when the fires of the people blaze in uproar as they beg for more.
She is my home , she  is home to thousands.
But she cries , she cries at 3am when the blood of a father is spilt for the paper in the leather bound casing , she breaks when mothers abandon their mistakes on her rail roads , she screams when the young and innocent venture to her deep dark parts in search to ruin their lives for fun , she feels the pain of the women and children who are fouled by men with no soul. I see her beauty in the torture as I drive through her heart and I break knowing her words are unspoken she has been violated , she feel cursed , she is our home but we have broken our walls.
She waits for the day her people see her pain and change for her happiness and I wait for the day the sun shines and I know my home is safe.

people will always judge you ,
be it on your dressing
be it on your choices
be it on your life
no matter what what it may be people will always judge you, and the thing about judging is that they always expect you to fail and mess up and when you do they act shocked and disappointed but secretly they smiling and laughing saying I knew it and then they spread the news like wild fire, but when you become a success and you do what they didn't think you would they join in your glory and pretend like they always knew you would but secretly they Hating you for proving them wrong

Loving you has broken me apart
All I need is one hug to get myself back together.
I can't feel the warmth of life since you left all I need is one hug from you to find the sun that once inside me.
These lonely nights are sleepless and lonely all I need is one more hug , just one more hug and I promise to sleep for all eternity or at least till the end of my eternity.
I just need that moment when your heart beats along with mine and the worlds stops and all light turns to us. I say again all I need is one last hug and I'll let you go , just one more hug , one more time to call you mine that's all I ask for one more hug in one more night.

Step by step ,
Her arms inntwined with mine
A moment stuck in time
Round and round we go with the hope of never letting go.
One more step closer to the end
One more beat closer to the end.
I look deep within her eyes and I see her looking into my soul ,her sympathy shows she sees my woes.
She holds me close
She kills the cold
And round and round we go.
Her grip loosens
She lets go.
Round and round I go all alone
Left to forever hold on to our last dance.

I was broken,
Torn apart ,
Left for dead ,
Lived in the dark.
Then you came
You were all I could ask for
Everything and more.
Like the scars that covers my arm
You covered my heart.
But like the darkness I lived in you promised no more than bitter emptiness.
As the slow tears of the sky shower us,
I can't help but contribute to the waterfall of tears.
No matter how hard I cry
Or
scream into the night ,
I can never change the fact
our love was no more than a beautiful lie.
Into the darkness I hide
Holding onto no more than the fading light of our lie.
Maybe you'll come back
Maybe my demons will consume me.
But I loved our lie
I loved you
Even if it all was a lie.

I love you silently
I mourn you quietly
I cry for you internally
I miss you abundantly
I look back at us constantly
I feel my love for you grow eternally
I ponder of you daily
What we were to what we are is unexplainable , what we had is indescribable
But in the end it’s only a memory I live with.

A fire that burns
A flame that stays calm within our hearts-
Then we meet them
The gasoline to our flame
The oxygen to our flame
The life of our flame.
The simple wait for it
The smart look for it
The brave fight for it
But
The hurt hide from it.
Because
A flame will always do what its made to do
A flame will always burn
I've lost my flame
Many have but someday the sun will rise again until then the dark shall settle and night will be my light in hope of a moon to give some light and maybs some day the sun will rise and the flame the love will live again.

Loving again almost seams impossible now.
But yet I still bow down to your feet begging for your mercy
Asking you not to hurt me.
Then I wake up and a feeling of bitter coldness passes through me and I think back to a time when we still tried and then just the thought of love is a painful reminder
Everything that once belonged to me now belongs to another.

361
362
363
364.
I spend my days like a clock.
Ticking towards the stop.
The end
The final count down
To a year.
Missing you has been my strength
Remembering you has been my motivation
Loving you has been my life.
You were
Misunderstood
Misinterpreted
Misjudged
Misguided
Misplaced
But you weren't my mrs.
I cant tell you dear how dear you are to me
Or
How amazing you made this amazing life.
Or
How wonderfully wonderful you are.
But I love to say that I love you with all my loving heart.
And thats why miss
You and I never deserve to be apart.

361
362
363
364.
I spend my days like a clock.
Ticking towards the stop.
The end
The final count down
To a year.
Missing you has been my strength
Remembering you has been my motivation
Loving you has been my life.
You were
Misunderstood
Misinterpreted
Misjudged
Misguided
Misplaced
But you weren't my mrs.
I cant tell you dear how dear you are to me
Or
How amazing you made this amazing life.
Or
How wonderfully wonderful you are.
But I love to say that I love you with all my loving heart.
And thats why miss
You and I never deserve to be apart.

Her smile still makes me smile,
She left but her memories stayed.
On that day , it was a Sunday,
She waited for me in the warm summer sun , her hair swayed gracefully just as she was.
She smiled and as did I.
That was the last day.
I broke a bond of perfection with my greed of dissatisfaction, I hurt a perfect love and I paid the ultimate price.
On that day , it was a monday,
She waited for me in the moon light, she laughed when she saw me , her voice still echos across my mind,
On the bench of that ice cream parlour we sat and on that bench I saw the glimmer in her eyes.
On that day it was the first day.
If prayers had to be answered she would be proof,
If men's greed needed proof , I am the proof.
Words cannot describe our moments, our bond but they can describe my guilt.
On the day it was a the last day ,
You said goodbye and I said goodbye and our moments came to an end,
All my mistakes , all my greed everything I done broke us.
All those days, all those moments once a pleasure then a curse and now it's all I have.
I hope to meet again someday,
Maybe that day I can see your grace again.
On this day . I think of our days when we were together and had a future before I broke it.
Time heals , but memories never fade and you will always be my greatest.

Broken bones cannot compare
A broken heart seams to no longer care
But still this pain is leaving me in despair
Forever is a long time
But thats how long it seams to have been since the warmth , the light , The joy that is your love has left my life.
Every poem
Every song
Every drawing
Every ounce of creativity I have seams to confess my love for you.
But you still don't show a flare.
What did I do
What did I say
To see you no longer care.
As I stand and try not to care
All I see is a sky of white
Who's drops of rain burn my veins and breaks my might all  because you left me bare.
We , you and me, lived in a daze where we loved and enjoyed the craze maybe it was just a phase but we walked through the haze and everyone stared at the dream we created until it became a nightmare.
To you my fair love I keep my love as I promised you can come in a 50 years and you'll still find me there waiting for this nightmare to end so come soon my fair and  love me with all your care

We all give up hope and think that fairy tale love only exists in the movies but this time round its different I didn't just find that fairy tale love I found that love that we see in our grand parents when they are 80 years old and still look at each other like they did that first day I know I am not the best looking guy I don't have great skin I have pimples I don't have a perfect body but I have what other guys don't I have the heart to deal with pain n betrayal and still be faithful to one girl I know who I am now because of you and I know whatever I am going to do n become is because of us. No matter what happens I'll always look at u like I did the first time and I will always hold you where I promised and that is the right side of my chest and the reason im alive everyday that's your home and no one can take your place

My love suffering was all I knew before I met you.
My love I thought my fate was sealed and I let it go, I forgot anything and everything to do with love.
I lived and cared for myself and only myself, I gave up and gave in to the darkest parts of who I was.
What changed ?.
My love I don't even know.
What I do know is that I've found my happiness,  my faith and strength in your smile , I found my missing pieces in your laughter my love.
I found life in you , I saw my future in an instant when our eyes met.
I remember the night we met as clear as I remember my own name ,i remember thinking how gorgeous you were  and how you probably made the stars jealous that night.
There are not enough words or phrases to tell you how much you mean to me or how fast my heart beats when I see you or think of you.
God alone knows when our time is up , all I can pray for is that when my time comes to an end you are by my side so I may see you the way I saw you that first night.
In your own amazing world of glory awaiting to show me a beautiful future and I you.
So to you my love I thank for fixing all my shattered parts and shedding light onto my dark soul may I always be there to burn the light in your path so you'll never feel alone in the dark or ever be cold.

You will always see her face before you feel her heart
You will always want her body before you can love her
You will always look at her as a prize
You will never be hers truly
People will never look at you the way I do
Every morning waking up to the thoughts of you after a night of dreaming of you
Looking at you and seeing the heart that stole mine
Waking up to the sad bliss of missing you.
They ask me what I see in you , they say I deserve better , they think of me as a fool for fighting,
But I know that your heart is gold I know no matter how hard I try ill never deserve you , you'll always deserve better , and ive felt your heart and I know your worth every minute of my fighting your worth my life and more , death is no risk for me because as long as I die proving my love for you I'll die happy.
You deserve better then me but all I can do is be my best for you. I fell in love with that amazing person inside and she has me in more ways then one she has me whole heartedly. These words are cliché but I can say them in a million languages I can write them a 1000  different ways , I can express it in a 100 ways , I can say it 10 times but it will always have 1 meaning and that is I belong to you I love you my baby bear my perfect love

Like a  seed I lived off the rays of the sun.
I grew with soil , water and warmth.
Then you came in
You took over , you pulled me from the shackles of my roots and took me into your life.
You showed me what freedom is.
You became my sun day and night
Held me warm.
Your love was my nutrition
Your affection was my soil
You grew me into a beautiful rose.
My petals red and luminous.
My stem green and radiant
No thorns or broken petals.
Your love grew me
You loved me.
But
Like the seasons my sun disappeared and winters cold came.
You left me in a glass
And
Lost was I.
Many days I laid watching
Petal
After
Petal
Fall off me.
My red petals became a grey wrinkled leaf and now all that holds me is winters breeze.
I wait for summer
I wait for my sun
I wait for you to come back so that I may grow again
Or forever shall I remain
A broken old shriveled frame.