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 May 2018 may
Sam
Insecurities
 May 2018 may
Sam
You see a lot of girls talking about their insecurities
But hardly any boys speak about theirs
It’s like we’re simply not allowed
Like it’s a rule that you can’t be open about your feelings
Well I am
I’m one of the few boys who are
I’m comfortable enough to talk about my uncomfort
And there’s a lot of it
Some boys can relate to girl problems
I relate to them all
I bleed every month
I’m uncomfortable with a lot of my body
I feel feelings
Everyone feels feelings
Girls are encouraged to talk about them
But what about us boys?
Can’t we be sensitive?
Because some boys are insecure
And we need to express it
 May 2018 may
Sam
8 o’clock A.M.
I wake up
I stay in bed
“6 more hours.”
I sleep for 6 more hours
I wake up again

2 o’clock P.M.
Finally time to drag myself out of bed
I sit up
I fall back
Nauseated again
I lay down and stare at the wall
I’ve become accustomed to staring at that wall
I think of all the things I should be doing right now
Something productive
Not sleeping
I feel it again
Good ole’ gender dysphoria
I sob for two more hours
All while feeling nauseated

4 o’clock P.M.
I try not to throw up
It’s my worst nightmare
The weird thing is
That everyday I feel nauseated
But I never get sick
And I never feel better either
I try to sleep it off for a few more hours
This is the fourth day in a row that I’ve skipped breakfast and lunch
Not on purpose
I just forgot to feel hungry
It was covered by all the sick feelings

8 o’clock P.M.
I wake up
I eat dinner
I go to bed
I can’t sleep
I stay awake until 7 A.M.
I finally sleep for an hour
I wake up
Do it all over again

8 o’clock A.M
 May 2018 may
mikah
Amelia wore a yellow slicker raincoat,
rain or shine, Every day without fail
And her smile was almost as bright as that
But not quite.

Amelia took off the raincoat in the seventh grade, when
a boy said she looked like a duckling,
"the ugly duckling". They laughed, but her?
Not quite.

Tenth grade rolls around. The raincoat is
collecting dust in the very back of a closet filled to the brim
with clothes no one could say were an ugly duckling's feathers.
First day of school, and it begins to rain. Pour, even.
But not quite.

Amelia is in a rush. She grabs the first raincoat she sees,
the ugly duckling yellow slicker. She
begins to cry, and her tears are almost
blending in with the rain.
But not quite.

with no other choice, she wears her feathers.
she expects laughter, and pointed fingers
but she is met with the same smiles as
she always was.
"Cute raincoat, Amelia!"
And she begins to smile, almost as wide as she did
when she was an innocent duckling.
But not quite.

For Amelia, who found her wings
in an old yellow slicker raincoat,
smiled wider.
 May 2018 may
guy scutellaro
she walks prospect avenue in the rain.
dead eyes, sore feet
the flowers have wilted into
the shadows of acceptance.

she finds the corner
and the last light lit,
wants a match for her cigarette.

a ****** that has found her god.
a needle and a bed of thorns.


the beep from a car's horn,
so a customer waits,
swings open a rusty gate.

and when that door

slams

shut

the prisoner of light asks,

"where have all the flowers gone?
 May 2018 may
levi eden r
my flower
 May 2018 may
levi eden r
you were everything right,
everything perfect.
i couldn't muster up greater words than,
'i love you'.
you are the sun after the rain,
the breezes in autumn that make me feel like i'm supposed to be here,
the white trees at the edge of spring.
no flower could compare to you.
your overflowing passion,
and compassion
made me feel alive.
jaw dropped and heart open,
i knew you are the one,
you were always the one.
i don't know how i've managed to live without you all this time.  
my last puzzle piece,
the person who tied everything together.
smoke filled clouds
leave a strawberry haze
distant memories turn into
kaleidoscope dreams
bright and vivid
colors leave a trace
on the night sky
thinking of you my love
as i count the number
of clouds that are in
the sky
and how each cloud
represents our love
at different times
the warm winds
remind me of
your embrace
while making
me think of
the beauty
behind your face
© rainbows and sunshine 2018
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