Still bleeding.
Except for all the in-betweens
when I forget.

Still bleeding.
In the deep parts we so quickly
learn to wash away.

Still bleeding.

Most of us are.
Some have learned to forget to remember.
But if we did, we would bleed
just like yesterday.
Every one of us.

Time heals no wounds.
Forgetting doesn't stop the flow.
We all bleed red in the darkness.

Some of us just look away.
Pretending.

every drop of knowledge dries me out

full to the brim and still an empty husk

+++

i dive into the water

to soak in the very words of God

but this cursed shell of humanity

like water tension

keeps me afloat, suspended

on, above, upon

but never in

i can hear, see, test the limits, feel

but always i am swirling in the currents

looking down into the plunging depth

of the face of perfect God

oh to be soaking in the murk of glorious knowledge

deep and slow

near the bedrock essence

hovering close, a particulate suspended

in pure water by the Is of God.

oh to be transformed within that whirring infinite

unchanging, ceaseless change

and infinite action, a mathematical point

inverted as the fullness of all

in all

in time and not

i glimpse an eternal flicker

of infinitude

seen, but just beyond the horizon

heard, but quieter than the smallest sound

felt, but gliding through the sense receptors

He is here inside me

but i cannot comprehend it

and the world creaks, bearing

divinity in my soul, the weight of purest being

+++

i see light, and it blinds me

heat, it is inside me

and i die.

Needles seeking north with
cursed magnets in the way.
Some call it stupid;
But I say brave

And wish that I was one.

Reluctantly
The driver stops
To watch me leave his whirring chair.
I nod and say goodbye.

Sparkles fill the air
Where fly the remnants of my broken dreams,
Shattered by the hardness of my cold and quaking heart.

And then he drives away.

I'm faltering
Just on the edge
Leaning out above the flow
Of time and space and whispers in the dark.
Happy is the man whose heart is one
Whose heart is won.

And I?

I'll be okay.
In time.
The driver will come back to me
and find a wholly different flower
In the pocket of my coat.
He'll smile when he sees me
Like he always does.

Feathers aren't weightless,
but they sure help you fly.
Heartache, too, gives wings to
your sigh.

Someday, I'll build a new boat.
Someday, I'll try.
Someday, I'll laugh and it won't be a lie

But now? Who am I kidding, really.

Stumbling
Weary voices screaming soft and slow
A whine

How am I to understand

Gulls and shrieking colonies
Have never opened up to me
I can't divide the hurtle of millions
Into the movement of one head here
A feather there
And mouths agape for more

Cram a colony inside my head
Bursting with busy, covered in crap

Do you wonder now
Why I cry myself to sleep
Why I dread the light of morning
Why I stare into the deep.

I can't escape it. A million miles of progress twisted into half a cup of brain.
And not in order, either.

All's a mess within.

So how am I to understand
How am I to live

Eternal circle, fatal rhyme
Golden new and golden old
With blue skies in-between
Or storms

Hearts a-flower
flaming
flung
Search for love's long twining song
Hoping past the sight-edge
For a blue sky up above.

Rising into darkness
And turning night to day
Rushing sunrise rushes

Sheer delight of transformation
Flying headlong to its death

Futility
Such beauty all in vain
And yet

Sunset skies from far away
Most beautiful of all
Fading day
Yielding light
Soft within the brilliance of age.

Better far the end than not at all.
Love's lispings, too.

Dragon's heir
Title to the throne
Fleeing from the ocean surf

Ludicrous imagery
Perilous strife
Hearts ablaze with
Fire and ice

Blink and they're gone,
Those filthy sons of glitches

But a moment of reflection and every dark head bobs under the surface
Dark dreams claim no survivors
I can't go back but

Survivor?

Not so much.