alone in the coffee shop
the same old spot
cold stale coffee
that's what i enjoyed

alone with my book
in the lonely world of mine
as i imagine
mysterious thing that will never happen in life

alone with my laptop
in my emotional poetry world
as i write something
that's curing my, lonely sad soul

You know why newborn babies
Are lucky?  

Because they yet know how to think
Because they yet know how to speak

Because they have pure hearts
Because they have clear vision

Because they doesn't know
How bad the world is

Because they are just babies,  
Full of innocence,  pure thinking

Unlike us.. Tainted heart,  blur vision
Don't even know... What we are.

I have came to realized,
that this would not work out.
you being mine,
or me being yours.
I have come to realized,
that we are like parallel lines.
side to side,
but will never meet.
Maybe one day,
god would make the parallel lines
gone wrong.
Maybe one day,
god would let us be together,
be happy.
This is one hell of an imagination,
that the silly me,
hope that it will come true.

You may say giving in is easy
But I swear it's not
You may see surrender as the way of living
But I swear it's not
You are going to support yourself
No matter who stops you
You are going to be you
No matter who scold you
You are not going to change
No matter who ask you
You be you
You do you
You are who you are

When the sky turned dark,  
And nighttime have finally arrived,
I will disappear.  

My soul is black,  
Full of negativity,  pessimistic.
It blend in well with the darkness,
When I camouflaged, and hide myself.

Depression is not a choice-
      It is a mental illness that-
Haunt you down,  lock you up,
      Without your consent.

He did not chose this life,
Having to deal with depression-
The constant sadness,
The tears that stream down his cheek-
Every evening without a valid reason.

Oh my,  depression,  
     Let the doctor cure you.
Oh my,  depression,
     Will you leave the poor boy alone?

''nobody understand me''
he said as he slowly drift into sleep;
a sleep that he will never need to wake up again.

Different faces,  
Different heartbeats.

Different skin tone,  
Different voice.

Different shoe size,  
Different height.

Different name,  
Different identity.

Everybody is different in their own ways,
But we bear all the same similarity,
That is, we are all humans,  and needs to be appreciated.

Do you remember?  
The day we first talked.
I thought we were long lost friend,
From the conversation we had even though we just met.  

Do you remember?  
The day you asked me out.
I thought you like me,  
And the end of he day,  you told me "I love you".

Do you remember?  
The day you go without telling me?
I thought I wasn't important,  
But you told me " I am afraid I will not want to leave after seeing you".

Do you remember?  
The day you left me.  
I thought we will still talked,
But we didn't,  and it hurt so much to see you being with others.  

Do you remember?  
Me?  
Our memories?  
I bet you don't.....

Y'all know what's up with first love?
Freaking hard to forget.  

I miss you so much,  
My first love.  

I'm still sad when I see you with her,
It really does hurt.

All the memories we created together,
Still haunt me every night.

First love, oh first love,
Will I ever forget about you?  

I wonder.

Why?  
Why did you lie?  
Is it because of him?
Or you are just plain greedy?  

Why?  
Why did you took it?  
Is it because of money?  
Or you are just plain greedy?

Greed,  
Won't bring you to anywhere.
God is always watching,
And one day,
Karma will hit you.

Aren't human complicated?

We fall in love, just to fall out of it.

We wished to grow up, but then after we grew up, we wish we can remain as naive as how we were when we're still a kid.

We do things that we don't want to.

We accept love but don't return it.

We, just how many of us are included in it?

it hurts so much
                knowing that
i care, but you don't.

it hurts so much
                knowing that
i'm not important to you.

it hurts so much
                knowing that
you only find me, when she is not there.

so much... till i  need to cry myself to sleep
     so much... i thought my heart is going to burst
it hurts so much... it really does.

I don't show fear,
Doesn't mean I'm not scared.

I don't show stress,
Doesn't mean I'm not stressed out.  

I'm actually very fragile,  scared,  
Stressed out and depressed.....

I don't show it,  
Doesn't mean I'm okay..

Insomnia again.  
Oh well,  I'm exhausted
But I can't stop thinking.

Insomnia again.
Oh well,  I'm yawning,  
But my mind is racing.

Insomnia again.
Oh well,  I'm tired.
But my brain is not tired.

Insomnia again.
I seriously hate it,
How can I sleep?

Feelings and anger,
    Sadness and judgement.

They bottled up,
     And finally,
Exploded.

I thought I am strong,  
        Until my tears falls non stop.

It's better this way,
  We ditched this toxic relationship.

It's better this way,
  We stop caring about each other.

It's better this way
  Because I wouldn't need to feel sad,
Anymore.

Sometimes I lay on the floor
I wonder what am I hearing
This weird sound of what?  

Is it my heart beating?  
The clock ticking?  
Or just some random sound I'm hearing when I finally take time to relax?  

Sometimes I wonder
Or is it what I'm hearing
Is the world crying?  
The heart of the world,  beating?  

Till now I can't stop wondering
Or is it the bacteria that's moving?  
Is it the earth particles vibrating?  

Or is it me,  silently crying in my heart
Is it the footsteps of mine,  wandering around in my imagination?  

Or I'm just,  plain crazy?  
I keep wondering,  till I fall asleep
Hoping I wouldn't wake up to face reality again

Body shaming
Fat shaming
Skinny shaming
Face shaming
We can't deny that
People are judgmental
Me or you,  we judge
She or he,  they judge
We all, need to understand that
People were not born to be perfect
People have their imperfections
People have their flaws
People have their ugly side
We all, need to learn how to
Accept the imperfections
Accept the flaws
Accept the ugly side
We all, need to know that
People have feelings
People have over thinking skills
People have suicidal thoughts
So, to all humans out there
Learn how to care
Learn how to shut up at times
Learn how to stop judging
We are all imperfectly unique,  for all we are humans that are created equally by God.

I've been nothing but good to you,
Yet you still hurt me like this.

When I'm younger, I would blamed myself, for being stupid, as that it what you scolded me.

You labeled me, I kindly took the names with me.

But growing up, now I realized that I wouldn't need to be good, to a person, like you.

I realized after years of being hated, that I have the rights to hate you even more.

I realized that even after being kind to you for years, nothing would have change.

So I finally come to the sense that, it wasn't you who needs to change, it was me.

I should just care a little lesser,
Be a little evil,
And only give my kindness to the one that deserved.

And you, should be the one who I push away from my life, as our relationship are nothing but toxic.

You asked me the reason
And without any doubt I told you
You betrayed me
And I thought I can believe you
You told everyone about it
And now everybody know
Because of you
I have learnt to not trust
Because of you
I have learnt to not care
Because of you
I have learnt to protect myself
And when you ask me why
Remember you are the reason why
Care a little less
Live a little more
You don't live for their expectation
You don't live for their opinion
Their opinion do not define you
So live on
So move on
So life goes on

Love is like a pill
It cure your sickness when you believe it
Its the placebo effect that take place
That would make you
Live in good or bad.

Love is like a story
It will eventually end
Its the story line that matters
That would make you
Have a happy ending or not.

Love is like a rose
It has thorn that would hurt you
Its the red beautiful flower that attract you
That would make you
Enjoy the scene and hurt at the same time

Love is good yet bad
Love is enjoyable yet hurtful
Love is happy yet sad

Why do we fall in love?
Is it because it's love,
Or is it because it's natural to fall in love?

Love is,  being together with the person you love

Love is,  waking up to the scene of him
Sleeping soundly beside you

Love is,  seeing him going to work
And placing a kiss gently before he go

Love also is,  letting him be together with the one... He loves.
Letting him be happy,  even if he's happy without the need of you in his life.

Nobody told me that-  falling in love is easy, but getting out of it is hard.

Nobody told me that-  first love is going to be sweet,  but also particularly heartbreaking.

Love,  I didn't know,  that it would hurts so much.

I always wanted to think that, we are still together,  that I didn't leave you for good,  that you are holding my hand instead of hers.    

I am left in the dark now, alone,  with scars and broken heart,  with unhealed wounds and philophobia,  and there is nothing to blame but my own doing.

Now I always wake up in the middle of the night,  feeling extremely sad,  thinking about our memories together, and cry myself to sleep.

Maybe one day you'd realise,
That all the while,
I'm the only one by your side.  

Maybe one day you'd realise,  
That without me,  
You are actually very lonely.  

Maybe one day you'd realise,  
One thing I know is,  
That one day will never come.

Out of so many places that I have visited,
The place I missed the most,
Is your heart....

You can never unloved
Someone you love
When I said I love you
I truly love you
Till the end of the day
Till the end of my life
Till now,  when we are separated
I still love you
For all,  you're my first love
That I would
Never forget

Who knows that one night,
Everything would be gone.

Who knows that one night,
Your beloved may visits the heaven.

Who knows that one traffic jam,
Would stop you from seeing, the last minute of her breathing.

Who knows that someone's death,
Would be as painful as burning yourself alive, to death.

She, who take care of us.
She, who always being there for us.

She, who leaves us behind,
Without a goodbye being said.

She, who walked up the stairs that lead to heaven and never come back down again.

People dies, but memories don't.
She, who will always be in my heart.

Cold stale coffee,  
Used tea bags,
I'm kept awake by all this stimulants.

How can I say?  
How can I express?  
How frustrated,  depressed and stressed I am?  

Nobody is by my side,  
Deep asleep they are.  
I'm all by myself,  alone.

She tried hard,
Strived,
But get nothing in return.  

She planned everything,
Ahead of time,  
Yet the plan never works.  

She do everything,
Without people asking,  
And now nobody appreciate.

She is just a little girl,  
With a small frame body,
That hope for the best for herself....

Sometimes you just have to be
                                Selfish
Because why hurt yourself
           When you can
Love yourself a tad bit more?

When you feel a tad bit down,  
Remember the happiness in life,  
And move on.

When you feel lonely,  
Remember that God is always here,
For you.  

When you feel like dying,
Remember the people who loves you,
And be stronger.

When you feel good,  
Remember to thank all the people,  
Who brought you to,
Where you are now.

Be grateful to life,  
And life will be good to you.
Be glad that you're born,  
Be happy that,  God created us.

To the person I love,
I hope you are happy.

To the person I live for,
I hope we can live together forever.

To the people whom I care,
Continue be yourself and be proud of who you are.

To the people who care for me,
Thank you because of your effort to remember even little things of me.

To everybody,  
Embrace yourself,  love yourself,  be yourself,  take in all the positivity and destroy all the negative thoughts in life.

To everybody,
I hope you are happy everyday!

Stressed,  depressed.
This is how I am.  

Sad,  deprived.
I'm always.  

Emotion control me,
As I slowly cry myself to sleep.

Without any doubt
I believe in you
            And that was the worst decision
               I have ever made

He helped her,  
But he is also the one that ruined her,
Completely unarmored,
He hurt her.  
Badly........

We were
Once so close....

But one day
You leave
Without saying goodbye...

And now
You act like
We did not even met before....

It hurts....
So badly

Do your ever feel?
Like your heart is being pulled by a strong unknown force,
When the person you love,
Says something insensitive?

Do you ever feel?
  Like your heart really broke into pieces,
When the person you love,
Seems annoyed by you?

Do you still love me?
I wondered.
Did we fall in love too fast,
That causes you to fall out of it,
Fast enough too.

That one day when I ran away,
Leaved this inhuman place,  
Was the time when I realised,
How unimportant I was.

Just like when caramel was missing,
Nobody misses it.
It was nice at first,  
But too sweet,  when time goes on.

-mel.