I cannot speak to who you are
But what I see
Is skin like umber
Hair as olives
And eyes alive with a sharp and rustic ease
You seem to be
Every wild choice I wish I would've made
Every moment to dance not taken
Every handshake met and opportunity spent
When my prose is your con
And my quiet your noise
Dance, dance
In your reflect I see
That you are the opposite of me

A canvas is a conscious thing
Which holds no lies but hands with truth
Just try and hide from a single strike
A single stroke of brush to be
Once there it will never be without again
Once aware you'll never unsee the colors again
This is the nature of paint
Or at least one of its many mothers
See?

It comes uninvited
I don’t have to be alone to feel it
In fact I’m surrounded by people right now and It’s there
You see these people are people
Not connected to me
And I do have friends
But I don’t feel gotten
I have my front to fit in
A side they like so I keep it there
But I’m not me
They don’t see me
For if they did then I’d truly be alone
— loneliness

i was born
with a heart too big to fit
inside my chest
and a soul bigger than my body
so i have chosen
to leave pieces of my heart
in the places my feet have known
in the people i have loved
in the words i have read
in the beauty my eyes have seen
and my soul-
i have scattered it like seeds
and i have left parts of it
in songs,
in poetry,
in the laughter of children,
in the arms that have held me
and the hearts that have loved me

One step forward,
two steps back.
Every day brings
another setback,
another backtrack,
another reminder
of the things I lack.
My mind never quiets,
I can't take the feedback.
An eternal panic attack,
I should double the Prozac,
it's making a comeback.
One step forward,
two steps back.

I was frozen for ages
afraid to reach for the sun
Battling myself with myself
and neither side has won

I am she who battles demons
I am she who prays for snakes
I am she with many fears
I am she who never breaks

I am sharper than obsidian
I am stronger than steel
No longer will my head hang low
because of how I feel

Maybe my drive isn't there,
I need this to drive my drives in this
Non self driving car to some place or to sometime
Where my mind isn't trying to jump start
Every time my heart wishes
To depart from this gas station called Her

******* it who decided to call this Her
Do you hear Her?
The lights are buzzing like a mind
With a Thousand Ideas and nothing to say
Say like I am sorry,
Say It's just not the same.

Say, don't you remember that I need to fill up here,
Im Poring this Creation from the creators hands called my emotions
Watch me as I melt like a carton of crayons,

Melting so quietly,
Calling it the most beautiful of mess I have ever made
As we drive down to the darkest of days.