I don't even fit in,
With the people I love,
anymore,

I am an outsider,
With my family,
my friends,

No longer a part,
Of what this world,
requires,

I do not know what,
To say, to do, or even,
How to act,

I am the outsider,
In a land full of,
Insiders.

Saturday night
My monster came out to fight
I'm sorry it gave you such a fright

But when the liquor flows in
My monster tells all my sins
Please let me have a do over once again

I'll keep my closest locked up tight
I won't subject you again to that sight
I know it wasn't right

I know we are a casual thing
My pain I didn't need to bring
You didn't need to see my clipped wings

I'll take passion over emptiness
I'm just looking for a glimpse of happiness
So from you I'll hide all my craziness
I'll just be your temptress
A casual thing, that still lives in the darkness

I'm rarely myself, I try to stay alone
My true feelings can't be shown
Because if they don't know me
I often offend, they can't see
Past the heartache and the pain
That drives me insane

So I stay out of sight the best I can
For wearing a mask I simply can't stand
So those that enter my personal bubble
Usually find it a bit troubled

When I get to lonely, the only ones I chose
Those I let close
Those that can take the blows
Of all that I decided to disclose

Easter man
Can you loan me a gram
This is not the time to take a stand
Put some of that **** in my hand
With it I will sift through time's sands
Letting my mind expand
As I pace back and forth over these lands
Please don't misunderstand
It's only what the monster commands
This was completely unplanned
Now my ship is unmanned

I'll just stay and linger on
Until of natural causes I am gone
Seems the suffering can continue
I'm still ordering from this menu
My demons still can feed
My monster I still will need
My twisted life shall fallow and ensue
To push on is all I can do
I say this as I'm lying in my bed
Facing the next minutes with dread
Can't even think about the days to come
Think I need a lot more ***
If I sleep long enough, will I sleep through all I suffer
Buried here under the cover

She wears waterproof mascara
Just so it doesn't dribble and dab
Across her face.

She wears a beautiful smile
Just so her soul remains partially
Intact with others.

She wears heartaches
Across her sleeves
In the form of tears.

She wears sadness
In her mind and heart
Until she is worn out.

I'm curled up on the bathroom floor
Wishing for something more
But what it is I do not know
Maybe love or a way to show,
My bleeding heart, the shattered glass
I hope this feeling will pass
Maybe a blade stained with red
Or a way out of my broken head
I'm gonna try to sleep  
So off to my bed I creep
Goodnight
Sleep tight
Goodbye
Don't cry, for me
I'll be free