I wish I loved a poet
so I could be immortalized in words
so stories about me could be written in verse
just once

I wish I loved a poet
so I could be an inspiration
just once

I wish I loved a poet
so I could be the writer
just once

I wish I loved a poet
so I could help them when they realize
that the world of dreams is just that

I wish I loved a poet
so I could teach them of reality
of the beauty and the pain and the mystery

I wish I loved a poet
so I could show them the stars
so I could teach them how to reach them

I wish I loved a poet
so we could watch the night
and wonder

just once

I first fell in love
with your smile
then your eyes
then your soul

Before I fell in love
with the midnight sky;
with the summer breeze;
with the deep blue ocean;
with the shimmers of gradation
on the sunset sky;
with all of the city lights
in a starless night;
with the words and poetries;
and even with myself;
*it is you who I fell in love with first.

social
anxiety
trying to find the fight in me
the part that doesn't say
just don't go
just stay home

You are ignoring me
it really hurts inside
you are noticing me
it also really hurts
You are staring at me
it really hurts inside
you are smiling at me
it also hurts inside
still
I didn't understand
you

Entering survival mode.

Feed upon your remaining heart.
Attention:
use leftovers parsimoniously.

Take that one everlasting memory.

Stage a friend, a dearest one.

Plunge into poetry.

Take a deep breath.

Remember all the words
in a myriad of fairy worlds.

Acknowledge:
nothing left to say.

Acknowledge:
no one in the distance.

Exit survival mode.

Let’s start with a reminder:
President Harding,
President Woodrow Wilson,
President McKinley,
President Calvin Coolidge
& President Harry S. Truman--
Harry giving them hell in my lifetime,
In my time—
An ever so proximate reminder--
These were all Presidents of the U.S. of A.
Also, KKK Members.
Warren G. Harding, for Christ’s sake,
Was actually sworn into the Ku Klux ****,
At a **** ceremony
Astonishingly conducted,
Inside the White House,
Presided over by Wizard Imperial of the Day,
The Honorable Colonel Simmons.
And I may as well throw in
Justice Hugo of the Supreme Court
Hugo Black in white robes,
While we’re on the subject of cultural memory,
To wit: the one Branch where Fairness
Is supposed to go with the territory.

You want to talk about race?
Hey, don’t get me started.

See colors
Hear beats
Have wonders
Feel a kiss of peace
A mess of confusion
I'm caught in a storm I will never see
The illusion
of a calm that will never be
Awoken in the morning
Disoriented and blind
Forgetting my mother's warning
"Don't associate with them, they aren't your kind"

You take my hand
"Didn't see you there," I laugh
Carry me to the sand
Look, on my behalf
You let me listen to the waves
I recognize the change in your inflection when you smile
And my heart caves
You're my lily of the Nile

My ice cold beer in Hell
The lock on my door
A secret I don't have to tell
My everything, you're

I have trust
I have love
In this world that I must