At age 2,
I learned what abuse was when I seen my grandfather hit my mother.
I still remember the tears in my mother's eyes.

At age 5,
I was made fun of for the first time.
To this day I still remember that day and how insecure they made me feel.
Their words still echo in my head sometimes.

At age 9,
I got called fat,
So I started skipping meals.

At age 11,
I cut and burned my skin for the first time.
To this day when I look at myself in the mirror I can still see those scars.
Little did I know that one cut can lead to mortifying addiction.

At age 13,
I almost lost my mom to cancer.
I told this girl about it and I was called an attention *****.
To this day, I think twice before I even speak.  

At age 14,
I realized what I was doing and tried to stop the destruction of my own body.
But it was too late; I had already built so people walls around my heart that I could even break.

This one for the dreamers
This ones for the lost souls
This ones for the broken hearts
That nobody really knows

This one for the misused
This ones for the abused
This ones for the little hearts
That thought they really knew

My  words may not be enough
To carry you through the day
But know your on my mind
I wanna take your pain
Away
I wanna wash it down the drain
I wanna help you love again
I know just how it feels
To fall victim to the agonizing pain
So for now I tell you
Rest your eyes
And dream yourself a better life

This here's for the forgotten
Lay trampled on the floor
I know your probably numb by now
And can withstand no more

But hear me out
Close your eyes
Dream yourself a better life
And one day when you wake up
I promise you
Everything will be alright

And all the pain
Will wash away
Through the many years
Your wounds will heal
You'll have your scars
As forever memory
But trust me and I promise you
One day your soul will be free

Why do I always remember
The time when i never surrendered
You, me, and always will be
A vision endless memory

Hope lead to frustration and frustration lead to anger
Reminiscing the time when you said that it's over
But this feeling of mine never ceased
Up until the time that I'd be deceased

I'm always thinking what have I done
For you to say that I'm not the one
I've done everything I could
But love me girl, you still never would

But despite the fact that you don't love meI
'll be here forever, girl, you will see
Just baby don't you let go
Of my heart that loves you so

"Do you write poetry
about my broken bones?
Do you find metaphors
for the way you burned
down the bridges we built?
I bet people think it’s beautiful,
I bet they think it’s poetic
the way you destroyed me.
I bet you tell them
falling in love with me
was an extraordinary artistic choice,
Destroying people
is not an art form.
Coloring people with shades and values
of black and blue does not
make you an artist.
There is nothing poetic
about reaching inside of someone
to take what they told you
never to touch.”

I tried a combination of hundreds of words to come up with something

And I got

Nothing

Because poems are supposed to be beautiful and intellectually stimulating

And I am

Not