I'm so tired all the time
of being cold
and being kind

My heart is heavy with doubt
innocent lies
and the fear of sound

Doomed with fragility and bitterness
a walking contradiction
a near perfect mess

I'm so tired all the time
of myself
and my bad rhymes

Cursed from the start
and the second I fell
carrying the wrong heart
I'm forever in hell

I am lost in you
But I can't find you in me
deep in your blue
an unforgiving sea

Please don't tell him when I die
It will be too much to handle

We have had the same questions
But he won't get the answers

Please don't tell him when I die
He will think it's his fault

Like I'm his lone snail
And he is my salt

Though his actions were cruel
And rough to the touch

I care most for his wellbeing
I am not asking too much

Please don't tell him when I die
It is the secret to keep

You can take it to my grave
So I know he won't weep

Make me as close as your bones
Seep into my skin
And never let go

Attach yourself to me
As you make your way down
I won't let you fall
though you'd risk it to drown

Tear into me sweetly
And keep me up through the night
Don't you dare leave me waiting
Because you know that it's right

There are no sweeter moments
Than when we fade into one
Your lips belong to my skin
As if decided from above

Make me as close as your bones
Lose my mind,
My self,
And all I have known

Attach yourself to me
As you find your way back
Never loosening your grip
And never holding back

I watched unprepared
as my candle went out
The light is now gone
No more shadows or doubt
I am lost as the darkness sets in
It's nest is made quickly
As it moves from within
Maybe if I had bought more matches or a lighter that works
She wouldn't be here to linger
exposing my quirks.
I search for days but
find only a broken wick
and to light it with nothing-
The magician's best trick
The power lies somewhere within me I know
As I am no longer doubtful or missing
For even the dimmest of lights will surely lead to home

I weep to myself
And I hug my own shoulders
For nothing has changed
I have just gotten older

My attempts and my strides
To make something new
But I am the same tragic tide
Trapped in the same boring blue

But with me I'm in love
And for her I will do this
We’ll move up above
to that cosmic abyss

We’ve been dreaming so long
For that bright navy blue
It’s where we’ve belonged
So there’s one thing to do

If I should bruise my own skin
I will with no question
Display the stars from my eyes
My one godly obsession

Rest peacefully my love
And we’ll be up there soon
It’s smooth sailing from here
Forever asleep on the moon

I have robbed myself bare
With the belief that I am the exception
Taking everything I love
With no remorse
and no room for redemption

A destined ****** sinner
With the heart of a child
One step from a killer
plagued by her own selfish mind

Moving forward as if all-knowing
And guided from above
But led alone by the fear and the loathing
With the grace of a caged dove

My wicked ways still vile
As I age with the years
But the need for change is deafening
It rings cold through my ears

My heart craves absolution,
peace of mind,
a friend,
or some kind of resolution

But upon finding the love of creation
And the idea of what could be
I ache for the past no longer
For my dove is set free