I describe, suddenly feeling scared
and tried to summon sense and sensibility
after scrambling to stand upright
with all my might.

Otherwise titled
recalling taking a fall
about five years ago
ala Humpty Dumpty impersonation
(and nearly cracking me noggin),
think the character
in an English nursery rhyme
opened to countless interpretations,
even resorting to ask
"ChatGPT, to finish
the Humpty Dumpty poem... Oh god..."
which complete computer generated
and visible at the following website:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChatGPT/comments/1eiu34j/chatgptfinishthehumptydumptypoemoh_god/?rdt=57502#:~:text=Here's%20the%20original%20rhyme%20with,confess­ed%20to%20a%20sinister%20bite.

As told once upon time helloo
from me matt chew
most previous poem ugh goo,
viz freak accident found ninety
degree angled desk corner (ewe
might not bull heave)
rammed, impaled, fricasseed
smack dab skew
whirred spitting out
fluid on rotisserie

preparatory for stew
right side rib cage
quite agonizing boo boo
intermittent pain analogous
to dull stabbing
finds yours truly nsync with moo
wing cow word le lion hoo
ping to schedule medical appointment
come thee morrow,
this klutz he did brew,

or maybe ghastly conspiracy
courtesy Spiro Agnew
hmm... possibly global warming
ha... puff... imagine dragon
retracting dagger type,
claws, and opening jaws of steel
eyeing thyself as main course on menu
damning self, aye packed
especially when standing askew
(hunched over tying laces re: shoe)

struck by poison arrow unleashed
no Inca ling how
indigenous people of Peru
found their way linkedin
with this Yahoo,
he swiftly strayed
outside Gulliver's travels
into good n plenti boulevard
of broken dreams

essentially, one direction avenue
mixed within gibberish goulash stew
wing conglomeration
******* courtesy "fake" parvenue
he haint goat noah idea nary a blues clue
for aforementioned stream
of consciousness and drew
whatever came to his mind - toodle loo.
Adieu... from mister MaGoo.

to mein kampf insync with mine body dysmorphia

After reading articles
published within April 4/11 2022
of The Nation
I challenged the efficacy
taking prescription medication
categorized as SSRIs
and/or SNRIs.

Unpleasant side effects
such as earth shaking dreams
and/or especially hefty weight gain
linkedin with former
comprising my daily cocktail
of approved prescription medication
courtesy nurse practitioner.

Deliberation about courting death rooted
throughout mine psyche
fueling sinister chortle
at least since bout with anorexia nervosa,
but... maybe ginned blood,
sans umbilical cord transfused in utero aortal,

though long since recovered, the intractable,
haunting specter, sans grim reaper
intertwining within every fiber of this mortal
rooted, grounded deep, and branched out
into each nook and cranny portal.

Said notion provoked,
when made painfully aware
youngest daughter (aged twenty three)
plagued with similar thoughts,
**** genetics did maliciously engineer

clutching telephone while
seated at edge of chair
did apologetically, despairingly,
grievously... did air
pestilential, penitential, plenipotential... scare

re: distraction and understandable fear,
she might unwittingly plunge
into hopeless abysmal despair
falling prey into irrevocable
deathly hallows lair,

though kudos for her
from me, this sole Harris heir
to communicate, (albeit
hesitantly) into mine ear
suddenly wishing thy

Shayna Punim to be near,
but residing (about three hour drive
southeast of Portland, Oregon)
with my kid sister, attentive to welfare,
a sibling whose persona

doth show tender loving care
and concern, this papa
felt reassured there
would be every action taken
with sixth sense to beware

lest progeny exhibits
pointedly obvious lurching career
dramatic slide in tandem
with Old Rotten Gotham
into behavioral sink
emergency measures sibling
immediately would commandeer,

hence somewhat relieved thee dear
beloved progeny receptive to hear,
this dada expressed his unconditional love,
and grateful psychological intervention
offspring boldly did declare

indicative professional help volunteer
really asserted necessary to stave off
how dice throw of fate unfair
to said lass, whose demise,
would abruptly **** this sonneteer!

Sunday, June twentieth
thousand nineteen at eleven fifty
at 11:31 Post Meridian
Eastern Standard Time
will find Earth's North Pole tilted
closest toward sun. This demarcates

most daylight hours of the year for
people living the northern hemisphere.
Just shy of high noon sun (less than
twelve hours from drafting these lines)
nearest star in solar system reaches
highest point in the sky.

Hence hasty intent to beat buzzer sound
dashing off riding figurative one seahorse
open sleigh madly awk cross cyber sea,
aye rudder sally forth (slogging thru
virtual flotsam and jetsam) with poetic

obeisance paid to average size ball of
Earth, wind and fire, my out of this
world quasi stellar benediction, since
Earthlings traveled thru space/time
continuum circa Stonehenge, or perhaps

bajillion years ago, when predecessors
of present day primates (**** sitter terribly
less a bomb bin hubble), versus twenty first
century **** sapiens predilection for total
mortal kombat graphically spiraling downward

zeroing (kamikaze like), analogy drawn,
viz subjective mathematical roulette curves,
albeit hypotrochoids and epitrochoids staining
countless grains of sand, count them yourself,
yielding result (somewhere very loosely
approximating 7.5 x 1018, or seven quintillion,
five hundred quadrillion grains.

Such minutiae less significant within the realm
of present day **** sapiens, whose lives less
linkedin with phenomena affecting life on this
oblate spheroid, (which could come to a crashing
halt predicated on burgeoning human population
jeopardizing sustainable planet presuming
industrial paradigm prevails, thence man/
woman kind will unwittingly trumpet, and
or sound claxon (ex post facto), while
warming temperatures melt glaciers,

asper huge popsicles drowning
multitudinous habitats courtesy of
violent meteorologic cataclysms, where
Noah ark will be big enough to save majority

of creatures, and (wherein no art of the deal)
savvy enough to wall off sky high tidal
Katrina and the waves, then nature will (make
a killing) relishing tidying Atlas sized tureen

if necessary applying pledged finishing touches
repurposing third rock for another species slated
to inherit pseudo tabula rasa after Campbells,
and broth hers detox polluted primordial soup
i.e. once cleansed of poisons, thus...I condense
my Green New Deal spiel!

Midwinter night dream filled
with balm of June solstice rays
lackadaisical and carefree months ideal time
to while away pronounced illuminated days
outdoor sports a favorite choice
occupies athletic population
which venues witness frequent surge
and spill of overtime plays
another popular milieu
favorable climate awakens
constitutes habitués vacationers visit
ashore popular waterways
beachfront shoreline inundated
by mass exodus of sun worshippers
tidal seaboard awash 
along every square inch
human species splashes to keep cool
within ocean and bays.

Six months ago bitter cold
and dark snow filled skies
wrought undeserved vengeance
viewed from these eyes
who after each and
every major winter storm
donned proper attire
to stay warm outside
while clearing walkway
with shovel in hand
executed repetitive motion
akin to how boater plies
similar (yet reversed)
****** swing of arms
now readily prepares for execution
of most difficult seasonal task
requires usage of most complex muscle
the source of poetry witty and wise.

Awake to the celestial sea chant

Starry-eyed dark matter
of infinite space
Espied by countless eons
since original human race
Became cognizant of her/
his terrestrial place
Gilding the heavens with strings
of pearly hued lace
Closer to Earth charting
early skywatchers to notice moon face
Held captive via gravitational brace
While zodiac archer aims
cocked bow, where knocked feathers
sans arrow complete an awesome
fantastic bullseye ace.

complimenting - MOTHER NATURE’S
SUPREME DISPLAY

A strand of pearls clung to slender tree limbs
bejeweled woody flora prismatic orbs
tell tale sign recent cloudburst
cleft darkened heavens
rained watery life source liquid
downpour laced branched canopy
awash with molecular droplets
requisite to feed burlesque Vaudeville bluster
exquisite gala performance unrehearsed
unscripted ubiquitous theatrical performance
received limitless encores
toward Gaia screenwriter
whose infinite scope
(wrought upon natural landscape palette)
exceeds the finite abilities
of those bipedal *******
human organisms imbued
whose dilettante debut
(dawned these last seconds
on the clock face of geologic history)
might witness curtain call
on their final act.

Friday, June twentieth
at 10:42 Post Meridian
Eastern standard time
will find Earth's North Pole tilted
closest toward sun.

This demarcates
most daylight hours of the year
for people living
within the northern hemisphere.

Just shy of the supposed bewitching hour
(more than twelve hours
from drafting these lines)
nearest star in solar system reaches
highest point in the sky.

Hence hasty intent to beat buzzer sound
dashing off riding figurative one seahorse
open sleigh madly awk cross cyber sea,
aye rudder sally forth (slogging thru
virtual flotsam and jetsam) with poetic
obeisance paid to average size ball of
Earth, wind and fire, my out of this
world quasi stellar benediction
since Earthlings traveled thru space/time
continuum circa complimenting
summer solstice at Stonehenge
when the sky is clear, the sun rises
behind the Heel stone, the ancient entrance
to the circle, and rays of sunlight channelled
into the centre of the monument.

Perchance bajillion years ago,
when predecessors
of present day primates
(those foo fighting
beastie boys **** sitter terribly
less a bomb bin hubble), versus twenty first
century **** sapiens predilection for total
mortal kombat graphically spiraling downward
zeroing (kamikaze like),
loose analogy drawn,
videre licet calling to mind
witnessing subjective nattering nabob of nativity
spinning his/her mathematical
roulette wheel of misfortune,
albeit analogous to
hypotrochoids and epitrochoids
geocentric model representing Ptolemaic system,
or also representing on a much smaller scale
the microscopic subatomic particles,
such as electrons, protons,
neutrons, quarks, and leptons
considered the fundamental
building blocks of the universe,
according to scientific sources.

While scientists continue to explore
the nature of these particles,
particularly quarks and leptons,
there's no indication that they themselves
are composed of smaller,
discrete particles invisible to the naked eye
manifold times smaller than a grain of sand;
now what strains incredulity
whereby countless grains of sand,
roughly (7.5 x 10^21)
grains of sand on Earth.

This is an estimate
based on calculations
of the volume of beaches
and deserts, and assuming
an average grain size.

Such minutiae surprisingly
impactful within the realm
of present day **** sapiens, whose lives
also linkedin with natural phenomena
and affecting multitudinous life forms
more than one might be aware  
geological, meteorological, and radiobiological
to name a few terrestrial processes
occurring across oblate spheroid,
(which could come to a crashing halt
predicated on burgeoning human population
or  apocalypse now
considering present day brinksmanship
jeopardizing sustainable planet presuming
industrial paradigm prevails, thence man/
woman kind will unwittingly trumpet, and
or sound claxon (ex post facto), while
warming temperatures melt glaciers,
asper huge popsicles drowning
multitudinous habitats courtesy
of violent meteorologic cataclysms, where
Noah ark will be big enough to save majority
of creatures, and (wherein no art of the deal)
savvy enough to wall off sky high tidal
Katrina and the waves, then nature will (make
a killing) relishing tidying Gaia's condemnation,
whereby Atlas shrugged off sized tureen
if necessary applying pledged finishing touches
repurposing third rock for another species slated
to inherit pseudo tabula rasa after Campbells,
and broth hers detox polluted primordial soup
i.e. once cleansed of poisons, thus...I condense
my Green New Deal spiel!

Midwinter night dream filled
with balm of June solstice rays
lackadaisical and carefree months ideal time
to while away pronounced illuminated days
outdoor sports a favorite choice
occupies athletic population,
which venues witness frequent surge
and spill of overtime plays
another popular milieu
favorable climate awakens
constitutes habitués vacationers visit
ashore popular waterways
beachfront shoreline inundated
by mass exodus of sun worshippers
tidal seaboard awash
along every square inch
human species splashes to keep cool
within ocean and bays.

Six months ago bitter cold
and dark snow filled skies
wrought undeserved vengeance
viewed from these eyes
who after each and
every major winter storm
donned proper attire
to stay warm outside
while clearing walkway
with shovel in hand
executed repetitive motion
akin to how boater plies
similar (yet reversed)
****** swing of arms
now readily prepares for execution
of most difficult seasonal task
requires usage of most complex muscle
the source of poetry witty and wise.

Awake to the solar celestial sea chant
mourning regarding species no longer extant
thus upon figurative shoulders of youth
tasked with survival of humanity
a behemoth nearly impossible mission
younger generations unfairly saddled
with obligatory filched grant
courtesy when fossil fuels
broadcast onset of four Industrial Revolutions
spewing paradigm videre licet
free market capitalist kant
now quashing, thrashing,
wrestling against rant
long fostering **** sapiens dominance.

Starry-eyed dark matter
of infinite space
espied by countless eons
since original human race
became cognizant of her/
his terrestrial place
gilding the heavens with strings
of pearly hued lace
closer to earth charting
early skywatchers to notice moon face
held captive via gravitational brace
while zodiac archer aims
cocked bow, where knocked feathers
sans arrow complete an awesome
fantastic bullseye ace.

Mother nature’s ornery primates supreme display
said massive breastworks broadcast inlay
feat of awesome accomplishment
finds yours truly humbled okay
with his feeble limitations
engendering ample rocky tsuris oy vey.

Today June 20th, 2025 after a light rain,
the night before,
whereby cooler temperatures prevail,
a strand of pearls clung to slender tree limbs
bejeweled woody flora prismatic orbs
tell tale sign recent cloudburst
cleft darkened heavens
rained watery life source liquid
downpour laced branched canopy
awash with molecular droplets
requisite to feed burlesque Vaudeville bluster
exquisite gala performance unrehearsed
unscripted ubiquitous theatrical performance

received limitless encores
toward Gaia screenwriter
whose infinite scope
(wrought upon natural landscape palette)
exceeds the finite abilities
of those bipedal *******
human organisms imbued
whose dilettante debut
(dawned these last seconds
on the clock face of geologic history)
might witness curtain call
on their final act.

Excusing yourself as if...
going to the bidet,
an immense water closet
(perhaps the size of
Mar A Lago type getup),

sans human waste
(after flushing hearing
heavenly suctioned whoosh)
empties into prez Donald's bay,
where one *** wrapped aforementioned
toilet finely (and finally) enthrones

derriere exquisitely, and, delicately
intricately, chiseled wrought with cloisonné
ah...enjoying simple pleasure a$$ I say
sipping one after another Red Bull, whence
with one final trumpet of the **** -

(as acknowledgment to angry 1%),
though quite reluctantly did pay -
hitting the custom built in combination
handsome replica Taj Mahal fountainhead golf
course made from clay

baked Adobe bathroom links
(whew...long Atlas) shrugging off
responsibilities, escorted
by migrant compadre
Russian Putin lookalike uncannily

also resembles plucked Kernel Sanders
advocating consuming buttered Thomas
English muffins with oreos can delay,
tending to government, who successfully
playfully, melodiously preaches, sermonizes

and absolute zero values benefits burning
off calories, where couples sashay,
asper square and/or contra dancing,
where the caller hollers hip hip hooray
barely audible above

noisy fracas and fray
of crowded house,
avast throng of village people stomp
louder than a quiet
riot global military foray

anathema to dogma,
karma, persona... of
Jacques Cousteau, or green like
minded millennials and/or gray
bearded whelk homed by elasmobranchii.

Location: Gobbler's **** in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. First held on February 2, 1887 prognosticating how many more weeks of winter weather without a shadow of a doubt. Aforementioned site chosen for Groundhog Day because German immigrants settled there and brought the tradition of predicting the weather with a groundhog.

Already noticeably marked
increase in daylight
since Winter Solstice 2024,
just like the son flower I am,
yours truly courtesy affected
qua heliotropic phenomenon
finds me noggin gently being tugged
upward and westward ** toward sun
after dark mine talking head
rests downward and eastward.

Soon very indistinct
environmental intimations
regarding onomatopoeic
ubiquitous murmurings,
whereby old man winter
ever so faintly quiet as Def Leppard
relinquishes, loosens, forsakes...
Judas Priest Iron Maiden grip
upon emergent biosphere
suddenly awakened when
Mother Earth generates

invisible signals transmitted
across world wide web
analogous to conductor
standing on podium
with baton in her/his hand
orchestra playing on cue
perhaps choice selection
Rite of Spring
work by Russian composer Igor Stravinsky
or Flight of the Bumblebee
written by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

Soon dormant species will exhibit rebirth
out their linkedin hibernation
flora and fauna tentatively
begin to issue forth out their slumbers
shoots poke thru across terra firma
insync with twittering
in the catbird seat and tweeting creatures
hint viz verdant and/or fecund potential
ready to burst forth and proliferate
instinctively trumpeting joie de vivre.

Sensational show stopping, eye catching
breathtaking... parade of sights and sounds
await buzzfeeding eyes and ears
about six weeks hence,
within mine home box office
here at Highland Manor apartments
quite affordable rent
allows, enables and provides
radiant quiescence, preponderant observance,
nonresistant magnificence, jubilant innocence,
exuberant deliverance,
concurrent buoyant abundance.

Accordingly and allegedly other than
meteorologists good n plenty schooled
ascertaining onset of temperate air
more particularly otter den non humans
unassumingly (ferreted out), who bear
the tidings, when that season
of rebirth dawns with crystal clear
witnessing varmints squirreled away
blue skies, and terrain where deer
and antelope eagerly play without despair
purportedly realized, reassured, recounted...drear
re: days vamoosed foretold by
Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog Day
February second - requires one
with acute hearing to ****, and ear
turnips tickling the nose nostrils
delicate hairs (instagram ideal outlook) subtly,
markedly, lively..., yet gently flair
soon harkening shrieks
of delightful analogous funfair
no stranger to Renaissance Faire
of pitch perfect gamesomeness
will seem as... otherworldly pleasant
ah heaven sent giftware,
where all creatures great and small
sing psalms, upon arrival when hardware
trappings of winter shucked witnessing
unrolled welcome Scottish mat so hare
and tortoise can race,
cuz vernal equinox, sports a linkedin
improvisational, ebulliently
educational, cerebral, audiological...
twittering melange I will hear,
and grateful no defect doth impair
ability to revel silence, slake, soak...
insatiable thirst even prodding junketeer,
panhandler, vendor...
the last named,
perhaps selling kitchenware
knicknacks, keepsakes or other tchotchkes
to hippies (think yours truly)
with longish wavy hair
interwoven with Kahila
Garden Lily, Laurel, Maidenhair...
profusion of sensual delight
brings Mother Earth near,
the body, mind, and soul
espying frolicsome **** sapiens
donned with minimal outerwear
infusing all living things
common native plants and animals
in conjunction with resident outlier
particularly those pining
to answer call of the wild overdare
ring and bee zee lee court'n prepare
ring to beget young as
singular requisite quintessential profiteer
fluttering, instagramming emoji,
sans shutterfly puppeteer
as audience visually already reddit
regarding acting entire scenes,
videre licet Biblical Genesis answering prayer
particularly welcome
if gnostic, heterodox, queer...,
(in this case meaning peculiar)
finally relieved, sans polar vortex
albeit somewhat rare
atmospheric phenomena, how ideal
if said rabid Jack Frost
would sink icy bite - part
and parcel green gang
at much more favorably time reappear
during oppressive heat spell during
sweltering triple digits temperature
summer re: time of year.

Swath of pristine tractless snow white landscape...
tell tale sign where
winter storm Demi left her mark.

Beautiful and bountiful visual scene
(seldom seen around
tri-state geographic area
for quite a few years,
where temperate global warming
spelled unseasonably warm winters)
trumps the inauguration
for breathtaking view.

Immaculate conception birthed
awesome aesthetic spectacular
blinding heavenly creation.

I feel humbled
as an infinitesimal know nothing
wrought into existence
courtesy billions of years
evolutionary fits and starts,
and will exit stage door left
barely impacting the cosmic schema.

Memories accumulated across
six plus decades astride oblate spheroid
upon sixty plus shades of gray matter
sights and sounds transiently,
yet indelible impressions lasted a lifetime
eventually taken to the grave,
(or rather more eco-friendly crematorium),
which lovely bones once reduced to ashes
will leave nary a trace videre licet,
where joys and sorrows
dwelt within mine temple mount
unbeknownst to humanity
unless one attests to spiritus mundi
housing each and every personal record
that livingsocial (and more often
as an egalitarian, latitudinarian, proletarian,
solitudinarian, and unitarian) did emboss,
though uneventful existence,
would find any incorporeal passerby to gloss
tittering at reputation as spindleshanks
no doubt resulting
where chromosomes and genes
of interspecie breeding did intercross,
yet leaving some lucky **** sapiens
descendents of simian forebears
with eye catching physical characteristics
cases in point Heidi Kloss
or the waifish
former supermodel Kate Moss
testimony that either the former
or latter pleasing specimens
fortified with raw bits,
(and maybe even smattering
Norwegian bachelor farmers
big strapping men's bloodline
rumored heifer and angus outcross),
whose claim to eternal fame popularized,
and brought them renown fame
linkedin to "aphrodisiac hidden oomph"
of powder milk biscuits) sic erat scriptum.

Palm history awash with drips
unballed fist humboldt
splayed fingers vamoose releasing
wrist took rat release sing psalm
palm history awash with drips.

(Me slippery fingers slither,
slip and slide splashing ala
Jackson *******), sans slap
dash experimental, swiftly
tailored and harried writing
style, yes on par with purging,
spewing, venting...unexpurgated,
unexpressed, unexplained...
words, which this Engelbert
Humperdinck singer/songwriter,

(whose birth name actually
Arnold George Dorsey MBE
inexplicably popped
into the mind of this Dadaist)
offers "FAKE" apology for any
self inflicted, or sadomasochistic
flagellated cranial contusions
out of utter futility to make sense
regarding following gobbledygook!

GOOD LUCK!

Mine groovy palmar flexion
creases forever moistened
by porous size **** leaking levees
provoking deluge outranking Biblical flood -
handy history (in miniature)
replete with Ark keel logical artifacts
discovered by hall mark wainwright -
about 10 stone and 5 pound huckster,
circa Fin de siècle, when
callous ten hooks (calisthenics, eh)

caught without Noah
shadow of a doubt proof positive
by Matthew Scott,
so don't Harris me
(amat sure his surname)
linkedin to storied testament
rivalling epic of Gilgamesh,
nee the entire spoilers alerts since
dawn of civilization writ small
impossible mission to decipher

indelibly etched, (what appear
as Egyptian hieroglyphics),
methinks his perspiration
contains preservative agent,
(a natural formaldehyde like substance)
generated nsync
to maintain eternal youthfulness,
which stumps medical community,
and earned him hashtagged "hotmail"
(eagerly sought after human commodity),

a blessing and curse palms plagued
with chronic profuse wetness, yet lines
(little flushed streams of consciousness)
rowed by itty bitty teensy weensy
merry daydreamers harkens back
when life held faint promise
for scattered (contra) bands
of bipedal hominids fiercely
competing with trumpeting

(Taj Mahal sized) beasts
(donned Johnny come lately tousled
windswept hirsute trademark)
Euclid heir'm barreling along
barren steppes all around
the one straggly mulberry bush,
where one pensive monkey (proto-human)
chased the weasel
all around the world wide web.

(or swing sets and monkey bars)

A pitch perfect spring day
such as today April 8th, 2022
within quaint hamlet
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
in close proximity within mind's eye
to Lake Wobegon, Minnesota
finds me reminiscing...

When, scads of light years ago
(half life of mein kampf),
while yours truly,
at that time a father linkedin
emotionally, mentally and socially
kibitzing with his two young adorable girls,
ah charming children indeed
(totally unbiased opinion that)
both sweet lassies to boot
figuratively got their daddy
tightly wrapped around all four

of their middle fingers,
matter of fact coercive Munchkin,
and her younger sibling Shayna Punim
both whose playful rebukes
courtesy daughters role playing
stern yet affectionate “mama,”
this papa feigned not to heed,
maybe begetting a boy
(cuz I ofttimes then
envisioned being pro creative
regarding bequeathing XY chromosomes

which engendered gifting us a son;
i.e. ideally conceived male child -
obviously at mercy
of biological random chance
genetic material receiving
proper allotment to garner
personal pronoun predicated
upon strict binary addressable as he/him),
when reproductive gamble roulette
never did yield nor diploid offspring
to carry forth Harris surname

constituting for good measure
genetic qua mixed breed,
would have elicited contrary response,
when playing reversed roles
whereby Matthew Scott the kid
(Billy me) not docile like his real self
and his imaginary male progeny
aplomb (fig your at Tivoli) found me
taking his fruitful lead
apple lee going bananas acceptable
make believe games regarding

above named adult playing
mischievous, innocuous, harmless
behavior committing neither
illegal transgression nor misdeed
from this grown man,
Sir Wren during self to architect
landing flat on me then
palm pilot sized ***
(measured by Andre the Giant)
as if drunk from mead,
where playfulness my creed

those were the days my friend...
years ago that streamed
flicked across thee ethereal net
at lightspeed, I experienced
manifest destiny nsync
with government assigned
mummy dearest head shrinker
taking eminent domain freed
Aladdin side me, those decades,
sans long gone fatherhood
plus roles he learned to succeed

recalling catfights ('twixt
daughters) he assertively refereed,
who cherished those
offspring, he did seed -
reckons adult opportunity
gifted yours truly mentoring
with excellence they did exceed
unlike yours truly
he rarely ever let loose maybe once,
the scairt (of his own shadow) boy inside
subsequently cowering frightened lad,

healthy development anxiety did impede
his spontaneity ****** and leveed,
thus renaissance awoke
to travel back in time
reliving boyhood non disrupted,
and prior to parenthood,
would be less apt to concede
how natural to bond with progeny
fostered by being keyed
into esprit de corps of biological charges,
now grown without need,

nor want of his company (halt)
sudden embarrassment that person,
whose absence in
“My Struggle” did bleed
unstaunched sadness till affixing
available spare time with books to read,
and poems to write attempting to feed
an errant stray tear every now and again,
more pronounced as father time guaranteed
begetting precious bundles of joy,
how pedestrian days

of yore like a tumbleweed
(think T.S. Elliot)
rocketed them thru preschool, kindergarten...
high school, college now this doddering
doth oft attempt (with futility) to reach them...
even cherished memories insync
with Jack and Jill Truck klaxon dost recede.

Tryouts starring musical prodigies 
and/or an attendant conductor
attempt to approach ambient chorus
divinely exhibited from Gaia's handiwork
heavenly invoking kapellmeister's
magnificent nonchalant outlook
piquantly, quintessentially, repertoire sensately striking
unmatched vast wisdom yielding, zephyr air albeit creativity
engineered from groundswell harmony
juxtaposed, kindled, linkedin,
manifesting noteworthy opulent philharmonic recording
transcribing universal veritable webbed wide world.

Wunderkinds yield Ziggurat acme approximated asymptote
bequeathing celestial Doppelganger Earthly emulations
formulating fractal glinting highlighting
ineffable joie de vivre jostling, keen kindling,
la la land legerdemain lifting logic
lording Ludwig (Josef Johann) Wittgenstein.


Yelping zoological apostle Al affidavit Gore handily
heaping hubristically invocation jolting kickstart measures
nipping nixed noblesse oblige opera 
quickening quotidian rapid ruination sans supreme
teetering upended venerated wise with acumen
arithmetical Benoit Mandelbrot
chasing far-fetched ideas 
lightyears menacing nihilism purging ogres opportunistically  
resplendently ripping revered tankard tipping unstoppably
vanquishing varietal whipsawing wonderfully
wrapt yawning  youngsters
warfare written wrought
yanking zestfully crushing environmental family
granting Herculean instant karma
malevolent, opprobrious pronouncement
quiet riot silencing severely tragic ubiquitous vicious wreckage
yikyaks apemen cleft Earth.

***************

Future foragers denounce capitalistic bamboozlers aggression
zealots wrought trashing quintessential naked kingdoms issue
flotsam coagulates zonal wastelands torquing quality NON
killing habitats Earth bleached yellowed voodoo ruins.

just dawned upon me awareness today
April 20th, 2022 14:30 military time.

Unvoiced law of the land
obeyed lest one
who owns temporary priority
will get mad and deliver hex
upon generations of violator
even if parked car property
of an innocent visitor,
who knew not the space
self relegated to Matthew Scott.

Fifth anniversary of our occupancy
housed within one bedroom apartment
additionally, familiarly, and specifically
known to us as B44
will occur July first
two thousand and twenty two.

Soon after we,
(yours truly and the missus)
moved here first day of seventh month
two thousand and seventeen
both of us unanimously co-opted
select parking space.

For residents at highland manor Apartments
self assigned parking exists here,
and each resident better be conscientious
cuz resulting consequence
(think Monty Python's Flying Circus
forever linkedin courtesy
John Philip Sousa's
'The Liberty Bell' March),
where mean strong arm of law

actually disguised as
animated outsize foot
see https://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=2AxiATxLofk
reaches from out the sky
and crushes wayward miscreant
hence verboten to dare occupy
parking space of another.

Fond memories associated
with me attempting to back into
between painted (occasionally
blurred) lines describing
open ended box,
whereby after umpteen attempts
(after shearing off tire tread
of driver or left passenger side)
amidst guffaws uttered by spouse,
she insists to take over
and backs in with nary a hitch.

Such unspoken accommodation
also prevailed when I happened
to consider myself a perpetual student
and established voluntarily
choosing a catbird seat,
and remaining steadfast sitting
in same chair
(of course I mean only
during time class in session)
throughout the semester.

and despite remote chance
to channel small medium at large
metamorphosis I may witness
analogous to caterpillar
will transform me into a butterfly
otherwise Norwegian bachelor (batch chiller)
farmer will simply plow along
taking a stab writing "FAKE" horror thriller
airing available on Netflix starring
ghost of Phyllis Diller
stand up comedienne killer
brought down haunted/crowded house

witch sea hunt accompanied
theme song referencing Argonaut tiller
Greenwich Village location Barney Miller
lite precinct brewed fare of corpse
unearthed dead comedy duo Meara and Stiller
with surreal stalking candy corn canes
resilient blades of  rototiller
as bon appétit gnashing
gobbledygook filler
masterpiece yours truly created verisimilar
to literary endeavor of poet laureate.

Ice scream aghast with
hair raising blood curdling shriek,
cuz the dearth of satisfactory
****** FIOS shows bleak
willingly readying doppelganger
of mine to jump into polluted creek,
thus as death defying stunt,
I bury alive yours truly
except his sharp pointed beak
exhuming him after rotted

flesh doth reek
perfectly tricked out
for Halloween treat
masking trademark matted long haired
strongly resembling pencil necked geek
October thirty first when freak
most often makes his appearance
every other time of year
adopting nom de plume
alias Gadshill name of kid sister's

Bend, Oregon abode
(In Shakespeare's Henry IV
the scene of Falstaff's robberies) gadabout
versus me qualified poetaster
hood doth sneak
feigning antonym anthem of meek
oh my dog, I lyft hind
uber leg to take leak
hoop fully haint nobody dares peak
urinate kidding ma bladder weak.

I long since waved
channel surfing adieu
much prefer silence
meditating under blue
skies peering into
infinite space nary a clue
intellectual conversation many disvalue
perched edge of seat and hunched over
how riveting story doth ensue
ah... time for commercial break

culinary wizard abracadabra
whips up fondue
easy as pie (are squared)
with consistency of glue
methinks Elmer stole patent,
cuz secret formula Hebrew
what with identical hue
as aforementioned adhesive liquid
doubling up to keep igloo
air tight even against

global warming, anyway would Jew...
aye betcha already knew
yes believe Yahweh endowed Semites
like me with high ike kue
of course after dumping
a load (reed) I feel sue
per ream intelligence dumbed down
(mine), especially after using loo
naturally decrease smarts
stings like poisonous

scorpion size of Eee mouse,
which aforementioned papa's
poetic poppycock non issue
saturating plethora home entertainment
most people overvalue
linkedin - shoot all stemming from
"idiot box" I rarely view
even when supposed
best picture show over yours truly
silently exhales whew!

My mother got born November
thirteenth, nineteen hundred thirty five
within poverty stricken household
of Canarsie, Brooklyn, the youngest
(most mollycoddled) of four siblings,

experienced grinding poverty, no
matter maternal grandfather (Moishe
Kuritsky), a tailor he lacked drive
to support his family two parents +
remainder offspring, he helped sire

lacked positive role models, none the
less gumption taught her to strive
at tender age livid with rage to escape
caricature living poor, thus sought
employment when/wherever sheik hood

if necessary fibbed to survive
plus rash of healthy nurturing, and
absolute zero constraints, perhaps five
or thereabout years old attested
much later, suspected her papa did jive

with unspeakable improper behavior
(nobody dare discuss taboo issues),
yet intuition awoke within immoral
conclusion Harriet Kuritsky did arrive,
and perhaps resorted to stretching

the truth (fibbing a "white lie") the only
recourse available plied sweet innocence
knowing little or nothing about birds
feathering their nest, nor little about
buzzfeeding activity in beehive

naivete flirtatious coyness advantage worked,
I bet young thang did connive
and probably never did contemplate,
deliberate, generate and wrongdoing,
where mother of necessity spurred

angelic demureness strategy to contrive
securing bare necessities, hence fast
forward, when unsolicited advice given
to this sole son, or either sibling, (an older
& younger sister) tactics upbringing did deprive

ma mum of positive role models, hence
only blueprint to acquire essential needs
serendipitous series of unfortunate events
before Lemony Snicket did derive
school of hard knocks, (I do believe
formerly called Abraham Lincoln High)

rather than impugn, judge, revile, et cetera
kernels/nuggets of wisdom memory did revive
within my mind for rhyme, nor reason
blunt honesty, not always best policy
despite ten commandments
to husbands with many a wive.

Life lesson learned meant blurred line
between mendacity and truth
courtesy upbringing mommy dearest
if repeatedly drummed into me noggin
brutal honesty will bring nothing but bupkis,
or if you prefer the Yiddish spelling bobkes.

induces idyllic reverie
delight evoking similar surge,
when skirting, and eluding
fidelity defining the marital law
on par with courting in flagrante delicto.

After reading about
Greek goddess of love
fancy notion woke whereof
warmth suffused me
snug as fingers fitted into glove
subsequent laissez faire attitude
welcomed salvation, overstimulation,
labialization, impenetration,
fornication, and consummation from above.

Hands folded prayer
like to beseech thee
to abduct me with
no cause to up braid
natural temptation found
feral, gonadal, and hormonal paroxysm
commanding, fueling, inducing longing
from divinely devoted dada
sacred marital covenant
he twice blithely disobeyed
willingly surrendering quintessential
******* manifestation to nymph.

Earthbound Olympian of love,
now dwells amidst thee
willing submissive subject
teasingly surrendering himself,
whose psyche frayed
mossy secluded glade,
a natural bed of soft earthy, downy
canopied bride awaiting
me with said lovely paramour to get laid,
and maybe nine months later,
a baby will resemble

thee dear milkmaid,
then whence we return
to our Land O’ Lakes chalet
homage will be paid
in which human guise
undressed as barenaked lady inamorato
doles secrets regarding
amorous Lumineers trade
witnessed libidinal upgrade
into ****** dreamland such
heartfelt desire impossible mission
for amorousness to be weighed.

Victuals to satiate
pleasures of flesh,
especially erogenous zone
administered courtesy female
I wanna name Yvonne
this imaginary mistress
singing seductive tone
thru this private line,
but no other phone
triggering mine little rolling stone
to generate primal sounds
vis a vis masturbatory moan
inducing groin seams
of pants extreme groan
toward pocketing sixty-nine
without any lovely bone.

A copious amount of adoration
suffuses entire body of this man
her, whose gentle and kind embrace
promises to be eternal plan
as made mention in the Bible,
Quran, or Torah millennia ago rattan,
whose healthy libido
will probably outlive me life span.

Royal carpet treatment awaits me
each and every day
as the differences between myself
and august dweller on high
establish a bounty and glory
of compassion to roll in the hay
atop bodacious, delicious, felicitous
fantasy asks me to lie
imbibing succulent *****
O zone hemisphere erupts
highly charged atmosphere
akin to an eternal month o May
taking spirit soaring thousands
of miles of feet in the sky.

Upon hearing sweet nothings
nobody else can hear
affecting heavy breathing
indicated by nostril
that imperceptibly flare
a sheer grin of joy lights up
my countenance ear to ear
despite the impish quarks
of this divine being so dear
as journey to inxs of nirvana
induced ******* (er...
prematurely) whispered clear
from being buck-naked bare.

while ******* hallucination
at my male member does yank
key mud hood dill,
where reality doth usually tank
with muss elf feeling *****
sans figurative or real shaft shank
quite the opposite
with a wife acidly rank
she frequently pulls
my hair as a childish prank
knowing full well that action
turns my mood sour as a crank
I would escape,
but no amount of money
can equal priceless prostatic fluid
in the seminal piggy bank.

Other times, her karma roars
into a tempest with a rage
lashing out like a half-crazed maniac
loosed upon global stage
on account of silent battles
we regularly wage.

I admit my own fair share
of peculiar traits
which only to private confidences
t'will now relate
keep on the q-t (i.e. quiet)
lest spouse doth berate.

Chief among these oddities comprise
lower gastrointestinal perturbations
issuing from the a$$
which prompt innumerable outbursts of gas
ranging from quiet puff to a noisy, windy pass.

After usage of toilet
with a bowel movement
large enough to sink a sub
wash ****** residue from my behind
with a hose attached to the tub.

This couple resembles Frankenstein
and his bride – argh what a pair
she taunts when I shower,
clean the rest of my body including hair
dry follicles shaking head
after applying hair dryer
back & forth side-to-side
through the air.

There you now know foibles
and unusual personal ways
uttering that such antics how she plays
like netted in a one-man fraternity
undergoing constant haze
pelting this poor soul
with scraps of food, she flays
until these covered with
thick pasty gloppy glaze
as verboten entrees
now laugh till you fall over
and remain in stitches for days.

(a projection, genuflection, and extrapolation - if/when thine eldest "star student" progeny becomes the bride of one lucky guy)

with ur svelteness quite outstanding and accompanying zeitgeist tub boot my knowledge iris see vd reprieve from arm hug get n escort rub bing bliss until thee betook by another down thee aisle of life a pub
lick venue, where eyes bet cha yar er re: zist ta bull n deaf fin knit nub

charming slightly older gal to em ma, a puerto Rican well *** boy well worth effort form to start a family o' year own, time and tide will tell
waves of nostalgia for childhood memories may be difficult to quell

effort to cultivate relationship with omnipotent emotional ease
with nuptial savings bond, a salutary hint of success - cuz he's
a near perfect match wedded til death do ye part, locked, keys

engineered principally by fate recognized worth turning to dust
where omnipotent invisible bars anchor with mettle no gust
nor clangorous discord erupts, and neither one of ye lust
after infatuation of anther hold ye with pinterest n trust.

time to curry familiarity with ye mid haw ter, i didst waste
so unwise for this papa to express envy, and how thee taste -
of euphoria, whether single r double spaced
years 'tween offspring will not conflict with biological run -  raced
as greatest marathon - yet ardent cross country track star placed
yar mental, physical and spiritual well being, where well laced
sneakers ratcheting pedometer set other challenges faced
against duel as tempus fugit will acquiesce to grim reaper
hence, i must be mindful n make haste
to gather thine few rose rubs while ye may witness time erased
all the while the shadow of father time 2b finds me chaste.

already taking quantum leaps edging 2b come college alum n aye
a severance dissolving parental protection doth evince good bye
yet tis a relief, that few tears evidence that this papa didst cry
thus, this generic guy
doth app ply
words 2 roll like die
an image in my
mind well nigh

to evoke n elicit intrigue and say "hi"
in his atypical mode - butta not 2 pry
nor intervene un-necessarily - only to share as i try
2 exchange lite banter 2.0 n case u wonder why
u most likely did not get such an electronic sigh
email if...ye wish to chit chat or converse 'bout pry
vet matter, thus nearing conclusion, dada doth notify
a hope that ye accept my
weaknesses and faltered during your girlhood - no reason 2 lie
about detached emotional fabric - faults no excuse foreign alibi.

now before i go to sleep
ur sunny roseate countenance
   will invoke slumber within me
   like an oracle - quick n deep.

meanwhile life passes in one direction end date toward
as additional minute men slink in their swiftly tail lord
non-harried style spruced n tricked up ford.

though many men,
(especially former Norwegian
bachelor farmers from Lake Woebegone, -
but one presently wedded
to another female for not quite
thirty orbitz around Mister sun) seek a *******
compliments of Facebook (Meta) Messenger
yours truly (me - a married Neanderthal -
who just learned how
to walk ***** this morning)
does fumfer and forestall
profusely groveling
and figuratively backpedaling
when upbraided, interrogated,
and accused of spouting doublespeak
subsequently, I consider hiring a translator
courtesy my awkward
circumlocutious attempt to inthrall,
which gobbledygook more harrowing
than a maelstrom approaching landfall
orchestrated and synchronized
with the right hand man
of divine creator
( à la Matthew Scott Harris)
in tandem with countless gods/goddesses,
who mentored said oddball,
how to control meteorological phenomena
which his granted special powers
(alluded to in at least one previous poem)
if you may recall
which series of unfortunate events
only Lemony Snicket can uninstall
all said and done, he seeks
only platonic relationships
with intelligent and witty women
ideally to learn him
how to speak and write
social media platform jargon
clichéd words understood
and accepted as trite
versus his trademark
cumbersome debilitating, excruciating,
and brow furrowing endeavors
for anonymous readers
to tax their brain cells
essentially expostulations
against unspoken conformity quite,
but most of me threescore and six years
accruing non-establishmentarian, nonsectarian,
and and nonvegetarian linguistic constructs
formulated along the edge of night,
where dark shadows obscure a knight
in tarnished armor
just back from the twilight zone
pulls himself to full, albeit average height
of approximately seventy inches,
which unimpressive stature doth not excite,
but what I lack in physique
genetics compensated me
with being humble and bright
thus with sincerity I apologize
to the wife, whose husband
engaging in his ***** deeds done dirt cheap
essentially cheating by texting and sexting,
and must figuratively nip in the bud
communicating electronically
with plethora of females
(many young enough to be his daughter)
before he gets himself deep
pressed into virtual shenanigans
with veritable strangers
out to delude, hoodwink,
one aggrieved sexagenarian
and **** poor student,
whose eldest daughter not surprisingly
exhibited honor roll intelligence
qualified her for giep
and lure already finding him a heap
now after telehealth
zoom session with psychologist keep
thwarts dissolution of fidelity,
a lesson once learned years ago
contemplating reverberations
of narcissistic actions,
hence self imposed pressure
sublimated into attention
to the missus and scratching
out thoughts from nooks
and crannies of noggin leap.

The following anecdote baste
upon overactive imagination of mine
in sync with being married
and monogamously living socially chaste
life as a scrupulous anchorite,
whose weather beaten corporeal flesh
plus sabotaged, riddled,
and tuckered psyche effaced
after becoming adequately stuffed,
this turkey (in the straw)

then flapped his trussed wings
(at the speed of sound)
if listening closely echoes refrains
from Amazing Grace,
(which words reflections of John Newton,
a slave trader
who nearly died in a shipwreck,
and who eventually became a minister.
after which he penned the famous words
of "Amazing Grace" for a sermon

for his 1773 New Year's service
at the Church of St. Peter and St. Paul)
unable to escape ill fate of mine
i.e. being analogous to cooked goose
subsequently found him interlaced
with various and sundry
other dead animals
fixed to be mounted
(courtesy a taxidermist) on a wall.

The holiday dates back
to November 1621,
when the newly arrived Pilgrims
and the Wampanoag Indians
gathered at Plymouth
for an autumn harvest feast,
an event regarded
as America's “first Thanksgiving.”

Ever since then throve,
a commercialization, commodification,
commination and communication war,
where many a big box department store
(large-scale buildings
of more than 50,000 square feet,
the store is usually plainly designed
and often resembles a large box
for example Walmart, Home Depot,

Tesco, and Ikea are examples
of big-box retailers,
but never forget warehouse clubs
such as Costco and BJ's
considered the original kind
of big-box retailers nevermore
to witness mom and pop businesses
(small business entities
that thrive independently and spurred

pick/pull yourself up
by bootstraps guild den age,
or family-owned) *******
bricks and mortar outfits
prominent during pre industrial
high societies, when love's labour's lost
venerated, serenaded, and promenaded
like The School of Scandal of trysts,
buzzfeeding the literati
with tantalizing amour.