The world is a heavy burden
a place that builds you up
with broken bits of brick,
rage, and pain.

The wind carries the names
of those who are to silent
to ever really blame me
for all that we lost.

I rush to write this
memory of truth I found
before it slips my grip
and drips down into
the crypt that carried the few
who left me behind to brood.

I am angry and sad
to see my granddad
discarded at a nursing home.
A diabetic left to die alone
not because he was not loved
but because we all had lives to live.
I forgive all of them
but deny myself that mercy.
On the last day he was alive
he said goodbye
in his own way.
When I said “I loved him”
he weakly replied “thank you.”
Though it was not his intent to,
he made me I feel like I had failed him.
My familial affections
must have seemed like rain
on the desert wind,
brief and rare.
I left him there
and he died.
Frequently,
I wake day or night
with tears in my eye

I am angry and sad
that I saw my grandma wither,
looking like
some small sickly goblin
at the end of her life
because her loved ones
would not let her
let herself die.
They forced her to eat
when she could not leave
that bed where she slept.
While death crept
I kept to myself
to lazy and afraid
to deal with the tension
of arguing with her
about my lack of
her religion.
So, she died
and my anger
simmered inside
as the tears flowed
outside.

I am angry and sad
that I treated my brother so bad.
I was struggling at nineteen
and did not want to see
the mother who hurt me.
So, I avoided him
left him trapped
alone with an abusive
patriarch
to break his heart
and his pain broke mine.
Though he has forgiven me
I cannot let go so easily
and my rage keeps boiling.

I am angry and sad,
made to feel bad,
left seething mad
because I saw
living loved ones
exit my life
beyond the stage lights.
It was their right
but it feels like
their leaving
was saying
that I was not good enough
to keep the ones I loved
in my life.
Black haired girl
left for the Army.
Black haired girl
left our online friendship.
Blond girl
left for her original lover.
One friend gone
then time takes another.
Brown haired girl
moved on to someone better.
How could I not,
I had to let her.
Here my heart breaks again
thought I made a beautiful friend
but it is her turn to leave.

In being left again
I turn my pain and rage within
to disintegrate the one I hate.
I despise those mirror eyes
whom are not good enough
to keep the ones I love.
I long for the day
gray hairs, false teeth,
and wrinkles take me
to a place where no one
can ever leave me again.

I gave you the tools.
The keys, the love to power the machine
I gave you the fuel you needed
I kneaded out the k(nots) in your back, in your lips, planted petals of forget-me-nots with my tongue
I knotted your shoelaces so you would never trip
But that didn't stop you
I put my hands on your shoulders and breathed down your neck, like a dragon, fire coming from me always
Your face down, submissive, and relaxed.
You stayed like that until the end
Weak and unbothered, driving off and gassed up.
With my fuel.
This is why I do not drive.

The black woman is more valuable to the earth than diamonds or gold
She is powerful, strong, she is fire providing warmth to those in the cold
The black woman is more beautiful than the sand in the Caribbean sea
Her eyes shine brighter than the red of a ruby
The black woman is the only one born with the capabilities of raising black boy to black man in America
The only one that has proven herself strong enough to brace the cold winds of slavery, systematic racism and oppression
The black woman, her heart divine, her soul connected to the divine
The black woman, her womb a mine of gold,  constantly being robbed
Lives constantly being stolen, We care about black lives outside the womb, but what about within. More lives being taken from us, what about our next of kin?
Why do we keep falling for America's sin?

By: Cedric McClester

Slaves didn’t share in the American dream
They were living in a nightmare
And if they dreamed at all
It was how to get away from here
See they weren’t immigrants
Like the ones who came through Ellis Island
And those who don’t know the history
Should simply just be silent

You can’t conflate what slaves went through
With those who followed the dream
Of seeking a better life over here
All of us weren’t on the same team
Some came of their own free will
Others were brought here in chains
Some enjoy the full benefits still
And the fact of the matter remains

Slaves didn’t share in the American dream
They were living in a nightmare
And to try to imply that they did
In a word is insincere
It’s been said that ignorance is bliss
And the words of the ignorant
Provides more grist
for the proverbial mill of bad intent

You can’t conflate what slaves went through
With those who followed their dream
When the remnants and legacy of slavery
Are still here it would seem
Actually there’s no comparison between the two
Yet there are those in high position
Who haven’t got the slightest clue
Are guilty of the sin of omission
















Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2017.  All rights reserved.

we rode to work together
Steve and I, Steve a true believer
in his second coming
and I a born again atheist
awkward at least
that he had the bad habit
of smoking up all his money
in eightballs and ******
and I was content to help
a fool like that
buy cigarettes
and coffee
that morning

With his eloquent tongue,
Quick wit,
And grinning eyes.
He made us love him.
He made us feel loved.
If only for a moment.
Then it got ugly.
Suddenly there were questions.
Fighting amongst ourselves.
Betraying one another.
Never trusting.
No one.
Not even ourselves.
He made us weak.
Afraid.
Spiteful.
He turned us into something we're not.
He played us all.
He crushed us.
Or tried to.
Without a thought.
Without a care.
With his crippled black soul,
Deadened eyes,
And withered self.
Hidden behind a handsome mask,
A gentle hand,
His lies.
His fear drove him.
His fear of being realized.
His fear of being alone,
And others seeing him,
As he really is.
For he is dark,
He is apathetic,
He doesn't feel what others feel.
He cannot feel remorse,
Except for in fear of himself.
For he only cares for himself.  
He claims he doesn't care.
He claims to be free.
Free of restraints.
Free of emotion.
Free of love.
But for what he claims is free,
Is imprisoned in fear.
For he is a coward.
Terribly frightened.
Afraid of others.
What they might say.
What they might think.
But mainly he is afraid of himself.
For he knows his noxious soul,
Will one day find him.
Abandoned.
Exposed.
The day he knows he is unloved.
The day he knows he is alone.
Alone with no one but himself.
The one he fears the most.
He will weep.
For nothing is stronger.
Nor more horrifying.
Than facing one's greatest fear.
To open one's eyes.
To face all alone.
The one you despise the most.
To see in the mirror,
The demon you've become,
As no fear is stronger,
Than that of oneself.

When the sky has molded over in pollution and our shoes get
stuck in the swamps
the Earth will still bless us with forgiveness
fully knowing we did this
We let the tides consume our dissatisfaction
but they still let us swim naked in them
Our rain forests losing family one by one
they have eyes you know
they see you, you know
we're killing our air supply
we use them disgracefully yet they still lay low
covering your head when the rain decides to give the soil a drop of purity
An unrequited love this world is
and the evil it implodes us with, is the anger
it has been waiting to emerge
Can you blame her...
giving us a piece of what years of us not caring tastes like
She, the woman in blue, emerald hair as long as the rivers may flow
tried to show the world magnificent sunsets and
mountain tops peeking out of the clouds and
the ocean as vast as the desert land
and the animals
we must let them be
the intelligence they withhold, the beauty they bellow
yet we do not give gratitude
we do not clean up our messes
we live in our pristine houses
drawing the curtains
She, this Earth, this Woman has brought us life and we have kicked it aside
We have forgotten to love
and it's bigger than you think.