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 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
Ruhani
Back
 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
Ruhani
For a moment
I took a leap into the real world
to make connections
feeling affection
but soon enough
felt afloat
on superficial sea of emotions
I ran back to find solace
in the erratic lines
of poetry.
Neither life is straight
nor my poems
but at least I can see
my true reflections
in the poetic aberrations.
I missed writing for a while.
 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
Dinodust
‪Not valid‬
‪Not worthy‬
‪Not loved‬
‪Just disposable ‬
‪Unwanted ‬
‪Usable ‬
‪But only for his needs‬

‪So‬
‪Drip drip ‬
‪Drop‬

‪Uh-oh‬
‪My blood is spilt‬

‪You can’t wash off your mistakes now‬
‪What ever will you do?‬
Pathetic
 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
eileen
she says
child must you choose the color blue
pink is the color for you

don't cut your hair to short
please start dressing like a girl
that's what you should be

don't even think about tattoos
don't think about being different

don't think
oh I'm thinking
thinking of everything

she says
child
I will keep you close
I'll never let you be someone else

lock me up
chain me down

I'm her pretty face
I'm what she's not

\\\

the little they know
keeps me safe

little do they know
they'll never know
I hold the key
I'm safe
I remind myself at night
hugging the chains on my bones

I'm everything she hates
I'm the difference in this world

don't change me
don't erase me
you don't own me

I say
let me be
I don't want to be a boy either so ...
 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
eileen
hair ties
sweating up
she really doesn't like you
you won't give up
he brings her fruit
mangos
pineapples
and strawberries too
I sit behind
corner of his eye
wondering why
I don't fit inside his sight
can I ask for grapes
bring me cherries on wednesday
he only looks at her
He doesn't realize
I love fruit
she's older
he's crazy
the good kind
the kind I fall for
I follow his steps
I can't stand beside him
hate to be the girl
he doesn't look for
I wish he never spoke
 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
Evie
waves
 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
Evie
the good weeks and the bad ones
they flow like a current
sometimes your temper is choppy
drowning me
beating me
against rocks and sand

other times it is gentle
and pulls me lovingly out to sea
i think i can trust the waters
i feel safe

and soon after
i am thrown against the cliffs
again

how much longer
till i am dragged below the surface
by a fierce whirlpool
sunk against the bottom
breath gone
eyes blurry
never to be seen again
Extreme docility summarily
characterized demeanor,
when yours truly
pip squeaking little lad
the loudest sound,
this then pint size kid

generated courtesy
snapping, crackling, and
popping on quisp
and quake cereal
dems mighty good
eat'n snack food

straight out the box
this the most egregious behavior
exhibited by otherwise
extremely obedient sole son,
who feared never
venturing far from home

linkedin, albeit voluntarily
thank mother's durable apron strings
content self absorbed
taking especial attention
to surrounding flora and fauna
marveling at whirled wide webs

oblivious arachnids exemplified,
which near picture perfect dutiful son
a ***** fussy dorky dude,
now reimagines chock full
of mischievous deeds
epitomized, couched, applied

to fictitious unrepentant rapscallion
named Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore
brainchild made manifest destiny
obscure poet christened
William Brighty Rands
(British writer and major author

of nursery rhymes of Victorian era)
Google aforementioned name
if least bit curious
said crafted little
persona non grata
gangsta rappa if alive today

unleashed rather lame pranks
compared to golden opportunities,
no name brand garden variety
envious impish ragamuffins,
or even well groomed youths
respectable looking

albeit precocious progeny
need not leave comfort
of home nor hearth
what with wreaking havoc

freeing, loosing, releasing
veritable rainbow coalition
gender neutral binary rapscallions
across borderless cyberspace
itty bitty doggone petty files.
I just wanna fly
Can I just die?
Make a sacrifice
My whole dang life
Cash pay the price
My life is a lie
Look at this guy
Never seen him cry
What a relief
Religion and belief
God is his chief
He still believes
He can be free
Doing good deeds
He is drug free
Never even seen
Never need a drink
Yet people think
He is a freak
That uses drugs
Thinks he a ****
Just cause he does
Rap they think it crap
He in the back
Hating himself
Never felt, this way
Tracks he made
The words do say
How he feels
No one listens
Though it real
It doesn't appeal
It just *****
The beats are weak
The words are weak
Dreams that he seeks
Things that he sees
Things that he thinks
Ideas that he keeps
Things that he fears
Nobody hears
Nobody cares
They all just stare
And think he wears
A fake face
But I'm awake
I know I take
A lot of time
To make good rhymes
I don't make a dime
I do it for fun
How many care, none
But I'm not done
I will try
I just wanna fly
Can I just die?
Make a sacrifice
My whole dang life
Cash pay the price
My life is a lie
Look at this guy
Never seen him cry
Why?
Words that he types
Songs that he writes
Ones no one like
Oh that's right
Every single one
Can I just run?
Burn in the sun
Shot by a gun
Just be done
This isn't fun
Not anymore
My brain is tore
Can't write no more
I am too poor
To buy out fame
I am too lame
To play the game
I have no name
There is no way
I will make
Lots of cash
Making stacks
Sound Cloud plays
Playing my tracks
They too whack
They just lack
What people want
What do they want?
Smoking blunts
Beating up punks
Dogs and fun
Cops and they run
How is that fun
I rap about good
Not about the hood
Not about things I took
Or things that look good
Or things that would
Damage, hurt, or ****
Or good for the thrill
Or things that will
Change you altogether
Never
I just wanna fly
Can I just die?
Make a sacrifice
My whole dang life
Cash pay the price
My life is a lie
Look at this guy
Never seen him cry
What a relief
Religion and belief
God is his chief
He still believes
He can be free
Doing good deeds
He is drug free
Never even seen
Never need a drink
Yet people think
He is a freak
Woke but not 'woke!'

I thought
he spoke in riddles,
but some understood
and saw the good in him,

after fighting through the maze
of meanings
and coming out the other end,
he became a friend of mine

to be honest though,
I'm still trying to figure
out the 'woke' part.
 Jul 2019 Mark Tilford
Mitch Prax
I went to tag her
in a meme but she is now
gone without a trace

5:49 PM
6/7/19
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