Awake. Not dreaming
Thinking & Creating.
Cold but warm hearted
By myself but never really alone

Created but I can be destroyed
Wounded but never broken
Changing to fit this world
But deep in my own
Thoughts...

Lord Jesus Christ chose her to truly love me in life knowing that she could only ever truly love me forever in my life her love is so true because she knows no other man deserves her true love other than me.

I would passionately romantically hug you my love cuddle you my love and let your heart melt into my warm heart forever our hearts together forever happiness our hearts beating together in perfect harmony my true love.

As we hold hands together under the moonlight we dance together with pure passionate love my arms around you while we embrace in a romantic kiss I run my hands through your hair we smile together our hearts beating together forever as one I whisper into your ear your truly beautiful your truly my only one I my heart could never find a better woman to love other than you my one true love.

i am twirling in a dark space
the door is slammed shut, i heard the keys were right down the door
there are no windows,
there is no laughter

all i have known is my head locked between my thighs,
all i have screamed for is the help that never seemed to be enough,
all i have felt is the tears running down my face,
all i have heard is the laughter - this silence is deafening

i have tried to reach for the door but i can't find it,
how do i let the light in?
how do i open up my heart?
how do i let this pain float away?
how do i ask sadness to let me go?

i am stuck in this room,
i am stuck against this wall and i can't see,
the dark doesn't scare me anymore,
this now feels like home.


the dark is my home,
don't call my name for i am long gone,
all that is left of me is the shell of the person i once was,
i am a walking, breathing, corpse

don't ask me to feel,
all i remember is pain.
don't piece the broken fragments,
i want to be gone.

*i want to be gone.

theres no more grey clouds
theres no more rainy days
theres only sunlight shinning through

theres no more silent tears
theres no more weary years
theres only happiness all around you

theres no more all alone
theres no more go away
theres only please stay here with me

theres no more be afraid
theres no more go and hide
theres only stand tall and face your fears

theres no more dark  side
theres no more good byes
theres only hey how are you

theres no more aching pain
theres no more lonely hearts
theres only love for everyone

theres no more grey skies
theres no more silent griefs
theres only smiles all around

theres no more go away
theres no more silent days
theres only night full of laughter

theres no more falling down
theres no more lying on the ground
theres only spread your wings and fly

theres no more missing you
theres no more crying eyes
theres only i will be home soon

theres no more crying
theres no more saddened days
theres only smile and keep moving on

theres no more blood shed
theres no more falling walls
theres only happy things all around

Theres no more bad things
theres no more melting wings
theres only rainbows,peace, and love

You had a way out
and so do i
but i have to stay strong
for those on the other side
i know they love me
i know they mean well
but lets just face it
their putting me through hell
everyday they smile
and everyday i cry
all i see is rain
and all they see is sunshine
i know its hard to understand
why suicides at high demand
but lets just think for a minute
why some people want to end it
when you're in pain, you cry
when your heart breaks
you essentially die
the pain is real
and thats all they feel
so the best option for them
is to make it all end
then the pain is gone
and they can finally move on
they cant hurt themselves
and they can end their own hell.

I listen to the radio
To find any song that I know
Just to see if I could feel
That you and I are really real