My head is completely blank
Completely dark
Completely blank
Completely uncertain
Completely lost

I feel so lost and misplaced
Where can I fit in?
Where do I really belong?

Did style happen because I copied you or you copied the magazine?
Did I like that activity in special because everyone else did?
Did I change into someone whom I'm not because being myself weren't good enough? Or because I didn't resemble the rest of you?

Is it really so wrong to try and break free from the normalities so I won't become a part of the large crowd. I want to break free and be me.

But to be free and outside of the crowd is lonely. They don't drag you back in, because in reality, where everybody is one and the same; they won't notice when you're gone. If you're gone?

Didn't a part of you stay back?
Didn't a part of you still want to be in the crowd?
Didn't you in reality never leave?

Weren't this not just a part of wish thinking? Imagination?

I was just an obsession to you
A hobby, a toy
That you could play with one day
exploit all of its wonders
see what it could give to you
And the next day just casually toss in a shadowy attic
To be forgotten
To be found far in the future
Old, and dusty
Not broken, just dark from disuse
and abandonment

This is what you thought of me
This is how you treated me
Like a novelty, a child's toy
I can't believe I fell for your casual ways
The way you made me feel special
But I was never special
I was just another brief obsession of yours
A curiosity
I drew your attention, piqued your interest
But now you've found a new toy to play with
And I'm left here collecting dust

The air my lungs grows stagnant
Between heartbeats
Heartbeats that dance
As he pumps it in his hand
Squeeze release. Squeeze release
Slowly, fluidly
Keeping time with his own
Basking in the moments between moments
Increasing and decreasing at his will
By his hand
Rolling on the sea of tympani
The music of his heart
Bleeds life into my own
Riding the crescendo
Between the stillness
Hidden in the silence of time

People Change.
People Forget.

We move on our own tracks
and make our own opinions.
and make our own decisions.

We take steps on a path
which twists and turns and winds its way
into a map of memories
in which you can look back
to see footprints
you remember
and respect
and regret.

And over time
the footprints will fade.

We can not return but only look back
which is why regret is a dangerous thing
because it is hopeless

You could miss something to the side
if all you do is look back.

It is walking
up a downward escalator.

i adore you,
yes i do.
you don't know me,
but i you.

you wrote songs,
but not for me.
though i think they are,
to fulfill my wildest dreams.

i adore you
with all my whole.
and i'll take the leap,
when you fall
even though i know,
you won't be there for me at all.

all i ask is a little bit of your attention.
a little bit of your smile
a little bit of your laugh
a little bit of your time
a little bit of your heart
a little bit of your love.

it may sound selfish but,
a little bit of something
means everything, to someone
who has nothing.