Stan woke up in confusion, in midst of white almost blinding light,
The last thing he remembered was falling in the lake last night.
Ted was still screaming when he opened his eyes,
A moment ago he was sitting in his car blazing past a red light.
Stan saw ted and whispered in confusion
- " er, where am I ?".
Ted was confused himself but slowly replied
- " I think we've both died"
And at that moment a strange figure emerged from the light,
He had a long beard and was covered in white left and right.
The stranger whispered
- " I am god and I welcome you to the otherside".
He looked at ted
- "follow me my sweet child".
The two of them then walked through what felt like an eternity,
Still confused if what they were witnessing was indeed reality.
They came to a large gate and a deep pit on the ground,
There were rows of cubicles and men with files all around.
God turned to them and said
- " we'll go through your files and send you to heaven or hell "
A chill ran down their spine
- " if you have anything to say in-between, please do tell ".
God cleared his throat
"come forward who ever the hell Stan Bundy is"
Stan took a step and god began
- " you died last night when you got drunk and decided to fish ?.
- "aye, I think so" replied Stan.
God: " you ******' think so, do you think all this is for fun?".
Stan: " I..i don't..er..sir..i mean god.. I was drunk".
God: " whatever, so you are an atheist, Am I right ?"
Stan: " ah..yes.. I mean I was.. Now I am not..that i've seen you from my own eyes. "
God: " later on that but let's check out your profile.. So you have three kids, two dead parents and one wife".
God: " it reads here that you regularly donate to the orphanage"
Stan: " yeah."
God: " you have also helped four hundred and thirty nine people in your life out of pure kindness ".
God: " man O' man, you are directly responsible for bringing fifty two people out of darkness ".
God took a breath and said
- " seems like you are a kind decent man, you respect women, and have equal love for nature and all men ".
God: " ..and you also believe in ..wait..WHAT..equality for homosexuality....! "
Stan: " all men are children of god... I heard that was your philosophy".
God: " .. You think you are really funny don't you, eh punk!
- " i will not answer your question, you can call my attorney, you...you.. Kind little drunk!"
Stan: " but..i..see.."
God: " ENough..step forward ted!"
Ted was scared to death
God: ".. You died while speeding a red light, no kids, two dead parents and a dead wife ".
Ted: " yeah..."
God: " its says here that you killed her but it wasn't proven ".
Ted: " er..god.. You are god.. Don't You know everything "
God: " listen kid, I am far too busy..pardon my french ..to give a **** about you.. And your little things!"
God: " it says here that you were an addict, an abuser, a convict, a murderer and a clown..wait a minute a clown ?"
Ted: " I had a gig with small children"
God: " it says here that you were also a peodaphile.. ".
Ted "..yeah..a peodaphile clown ".
God: " oh that makes sense".
Ted: " but I served my time for the offence"
God: " yeah, yeah.. Whatever..."
God: " you also stole and hurt as many as one thousand two hundred and sixty nine"
Ted: " but I confessed and found you god, I was cleared of my crimes "
God: " by who ?".
Ted: " them priests, who are advocates of you".
God: " oh, I see".
Ted: " I always had faith and I was raised by the holy book "
-".. I hate homosexuality and condemned them as much as I could".
God: " that's impressive".
Ted: " I also despised the ones who don't believe in you, my faith for you is as pure as dew".
God: " yeah, but you have done too much wrong"
Ted:" ..but god.. After I found you I became strong".
Ted: " I was told that all men who believe in you are your children and who don't are satans men, women and children".
God: " I think we should let past be past, you had faith and you found me at last".
Stan: " but.. He is an evil man".
God: " shut the **** up, you don't believe in me..so my laws you won't understand".
Ted: " Stan is a blasphemous pig ".
God: " oh, calm down but I feel you kid"
And so the fate of these two young man was put on hold,
God sent his staff to earth and a survey was done.
The clear majority chose gods law over the rational verdict out cold
And thus in the end it was clear that ted had won.
God went over to Stan and whispered in his ears
- " I am but a mere belief of men, holy books define me and I can't be rational in the end".
And Stan spoke in tears
- " to have no faith but only kindness was what I thought you would always preach,
Even though I didn't believe in you, I always thought this would be what you would teach ".
And ted spoke in fear
- " and I embrace him the way I was told, it isn't my fault that people have made all of this a big joke ".
And thus Stan was cast in hell and ted was made in heaven,
God stared beyond the stars and there was a smile on the face of Satan.
And god whispered to the lonely spaces of the universe..
How a kind man is found ill,
-They speak of it in my will
Faith was never a weapon,
To by used to inflict pain and ****.
I was meant to be,
A guidance to be brave and love
In a world of stones and idols,
My words were used as a curse.
My name is taken in vain,
To spill blood and cut veins
And they seek me when it's done,
So they can be pure again.
I was but to be in thy hearts,
To be found in every face
But instead they found me in books,
Them idols and holy place.
And now I wonder,
who I am ?
Father of my child,
Or king of a man ?.