This axe was made from
Oak and
Anger.
Forged in the fires that
Shaped my cardiac
Armour.

I'll never surrender to a
Woman
Who sees love as war
Ever again.
It's been a long,
Lonely time.

But I've seen peace.
Still sacrifice to the gods,
Praying for brief, cold
Winters; for all other
Seasons to be neither.
They all have room for a

Woman between them,
But my hatred for ego
Is a burning beacon of warning
Even I myself shun.
I just want the silence.
That deep, deep silence,

Whose last word will never be:  
"Me,"
But:
"... ... ..."
That, I can love.

This axe was made from
Oak and
Anger.
It beats paper; scissors; stone.
Sees me armed. And still
Alone.

someone once told me
that writing
is an exorcism.

if that is true,
i can conclude one of two things:

i. i have never truly written before.
ii. my demons know their way back home far too well.

and while i am reluctant to choose either of the two,
i know that the more realistic answer is the latter.

i have known, at times,
what it is like to be clean.
to be pure.
to be holy.

i have known, at times,
what it is like to make my body a one-bedroom apartment
with space solely and deliberately for me.

i have known, at times,
what it is like
to fear no evil.

i have known these things, and i have known them well.
at times.

but i know, too, that these times never last.
there is always a second coming i cannot foresee,
a judgment day that gives no warning,
a demon that yields to no cross.

someone once told me
that writing
is an exorcism.

but i am a church of worn walls,
my pen a faulty crucifix.

i need not look down at my hymnal to sing of false purity.
i have read that one far too many times.

(a.m.)