There is a place i go to hide
There is a place where i wished i had died
There is a place somehwere near
Where i have often gone and cried

This place i tried to share
But no one seemed to care
To me it was magical
Buf i didn't really dare

To hope that they could see
Because this place encompassed me
And wasnt about them
It was where i had come to be

To be who i am now
Its where i found
Out who i truly was
Its where my heart was bound

I went there often
I havent been back
I miss it
That beautiful rooftop
Where i would sit
And cry
Or wish i could die
Or think about suicide
Or where i would go
When there was no one home
And i could sit and think
I miss my rooftop
It was my place.

My darkness comes again
Im weighed down
By all this sin

I look at these lies
And i scream inwardly
Outwardly i just sigh

I get so stuck
Its like i cant see
Anything besides the muck

But i will follow the truth
I know there is more
This darkness is not new

I can move oast these lies
I wont give in
The truth will not be disguised

I am not alone
There is so much more
I can be at peace at home

I am loved
There is truth here
I can be enough

Im not a failure
There is more to me
Than this current allure

I will fight these lies
I wont give up
God hears my cries

And he sees me
Even when im weak
He shows me how who im to be

And he gives me strength
To just keep living
When all i want is to give up.

You wont even speak
Why is it me?
Why am i so weak?
What is it you want me to be?

I was never enough
You never liked me
Childhood was rough
I wanted to see

You smile at me just once
I wanted to feel loved
But its over now
Im all grown up
And youve made your point
Im unwanted
You dont care
And thats ok
Its not like im losing anything
You never there
I dont know why
I was the one
That you would always shun
But i was
And now you wont talk
All i wanted was an answer
But i got nothing
Your like a cancer
And im done
Letting you **** me
Im moving on
Ill choose who I'll be
I wont let you control me
Im moving on

The darkness knocked at my door
I opened it, just a crack
I stared and my heart did soar
I can not take it back
That glance i gave to those eyes
The way it stared at me
It made me despise
Everything i had come to see
Without wanting too
I opened wide the door
And it showed me something new
I thought it would give me more
It wisperd inside my ear
That i was all alone
It was all i could hear
It told me i couldn't go home
It handed me the knife
And showed me how to bleed
It made me want to take my life
And commit this awful deed
It took from me so much
And gave me nothing back
My shoulders were always hunched
My heart was always black
I began to lose all hope
I couldn't even see
There was no way to cope
With the darkness eating me
But this wont be the end
Because i wont give up the fight
It just another bend
In the war of wrong vs. right
And i may be in pain
And I may fall down
But i wont go insane
I wont alow myself to drown
Beneath all these emotions
Running through my mind
And all these crazy notions
I will try and bind
Because this is my life
And i will fight back
Even though theres stife
I wont be controlled by my heart even when its all black.

In my life iv had alot of pain
In my life iv been crippled
By not seeing the gain
Iv wanted to die

Iv held that blade to wrist
Iv stood on the edge
Of that bridge
Iv looked down

But i didn't jump

I stood and i thought
About what doing
This thing would wrought
And i just stood

I couldn't do it
Maybe because i was weak
And so i didn't speak
To anyone about this

Because i was ashamed
I was afraid
I still am

But i have to move on
I have to keep going
The sun is slowly showing

Thanks to all the people
In my life
I put away my knife

I have to really live
And so this to you i give
Im ready now
To open up my heart
I know this is just a start
But its a beginning
And i hope to move on
This battle is not won
Ill still fight
The dark still comes at night
But with your help
I can keep going
And i want to thank you
For showing me something new
This strange idea
That i dont have to be alone
To me you have shown
That there is pain
In life you have to strain
To keep going
But slowly you can start growing
I want to make chances
I dont want to regret
And i dont want to have to forget
The things iv done
I want to sit in the sun
And smile
And stay for awhile
In that happy place
But know that its because of God's grace
That iv made it this far
And i couldnt have done it
Without you.

It makes me feel so alive
As i watch it bleed
It makes me feel so alive
Its such a sudden need

The pain is like a rush
If you saw me
You would definitely blush
Because this is not who im supposed to be

But im afraid
Its who i am
The price must be paid
So that i can stand

Stand myself
Without this knife
I would crumble
And i would end my life

So i continue to cut my skin
I dont care if its a sin
Its what must be done
If im to continue to see the sun

Everyone needs something
To cope with pain
This is what i need
For there to be any gain

I love the blood
I love feeling it flood
Down my leg
Im not going to beg

For help
So inwardly i yelp
In pain
And i watch the rain
Of red
That will scare me skin
And i want it to end
But i cant stop
Its out of my control
I have no soul
Im just a robot
Who must bleed
I have to feed
On this bright red sin
So i cut again and again

But there has to be more
Christ has settled my score
I wont give up
I wont stay stuck
I will keep moving
I will let go of this knife
I wont let it rule my life