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 Nov 2015 Maha Salman
charmaine
When I was 15
I lost the written innocence
of girlhood
and gained the status of a woman.
When I was 16
still a growing girl
with the reporters
spreading rumors of my
newfound womanhood
I was a target.

Still 16, I was manipulated by a devil with an iron fist.
Six months of being a mindless zombie
following his agenda
wondering if an exorcist
would ever save me.

By the time I was 17,
I had no words of my own
was constantly smiling on the outside
while unknowingly dying on the inside.
As I approached death
a reaper saved me
holding my hand
as I was ready to go.

When I was 18,
I fell in love with the reaper
who told me of my faults
and my truths
who allowed me to love myself
even while loving him.

Still 18, I had a voice of my own,
a smile of my own
even words started to flow easily
I no longer mumbled
or held my head down in shame.

By the time I was 19,
the reaper saved me again
from the impending doom
in my head
and I was so selfish to not see
I was making the reaper sick.
sick of me.

As I reached 20,
I hated the reaper
he who saved me from
death too many times
even though he could've
let me pass.

The reaper was tired of me
wishing for death
when I had life
all around me,
he eventually reaped himself
and left me alone
wanting me to feel what he felt
when he had to saved me from every reaping.

Once I was 21,
I wished for him to come back
apologizing for all the pain I caused.
He didn't believe me
testing me with my life in his hand.
I let him have it
as he gave his life for me.
a time in my life, a tug of war with devils
 Nov 2015 Maha Salman
MOTV
Unknown
 Nov 2015 Maha Salman
MOTV
I have lost my values
my soul is depleted

I wish I learned something but today I am not a genius

needing for needless highs

demised the mind
the rise of the M.O.
take it one second at a time

it's the top of the line cut throat type of grind
one day I will prevail

exhale the golden imagination of the divine
brain
I get out of my lane
to eat up the rest

a monster in debt

a monster

respect this neglectful consumption of a man

redundant of a plan

unknown by him but the plan is set

so forth he is.

adored by most
aloud roused by the bounded

Earth has renowned me a regular man

But the plan is set forth
so watch me glow

oh man

oh no

oh Lord

I go

Lost with this golden soul
Unknown
Fresh air
so clean
but am not like that
I am the smoke in your lungs
breath in
and I becoming you
with out you knowing
you become me to.
P@ul.
God's love is delight itself
it is beauty itself
it is tender yet fierce
sweet yet wild
steadfast yet unpredictable
enveloping yet freeing
captivating yet boundless
protective yet empowering
certain yet never boring
relentless yet gentle
secure yet mysterious
trustworthy yet exciting
all-consuming yet unfathomable
He is everything
you’ve ever hoped for, dreamed of,
longed after or imagined
and so much more
He is the Lover of your needy,
thirsty soul and He fights
continually for your heart
It is out of the heart’s cavernous longing and furious search
for love, significance, acceptance, approval, identity, security,
freedom, belonging, innocence, intimacy and transcendence—
out of its primordial memory of what was lost to us in the Garden—
that we begin to ***** idols for ourselves.

Unconsciously we hope they might restore to us a taste of paradise,
taking away our fear and shame and isolation.
We yearn to go back but, alas, we cannot get in from there.
We ache to connect to beauty, to be desired by it as much as we desire it,
and Jesus is the only door by which we may enter.
He is the Beauty, and all the rest are simply there like pealing bells
to arouse our hearts to Him and tell us that He is coming for us.

Still, as if we haven’t quite yet heard and believed the message, we keep
aimlessly trying to forge a false righteousness through our false gods.
When they are lost or the dreams of them unrealized we are devastated,
for the shadows, echoes and reflections we had supposed would finally
make us feel good about ourselves have been exposed as frauds,
and once again we are left to feel naked but without fig leaves to cover us.

It is at these precise moments, when the bottom of our false hope falls out,
that we are best prepared to encounter Christ in His intimate fullness
and most apt to recognize at last that He alone is everything
we have been so desperately wanting.
It is our boiling point, where the unbearable weight
of failed expectation so crashes in on us that we are finally
begging God to lift our idols off of us and deliver us from them,
pleading with Him to come and capture us,
crying out to Him to possess us fully.
~~~
 Nov 2015 Maha Salman
Bor ehgit
I've been living with such delicate walls here, bracing at every slight  disturbance. At night I imagine the outline of your body surrounded by a billion stars. Even in all that beauty it's hard to excuse the pressure of his finger prints throughout your skin.
 Nov 2015 Maha Salman
M
Untitled
 Nov 2015 Maha Salman
M
I, for one, will not apologize for living my own ******* life
to its fullest and its best extent.
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