so here's to our new hearts
here's to our new start
here's to saying goodbye
to our ugly past which caused our wreck
here's to our new and purer love
here's to us -
because it always
must be
us

There's a kind of surreality that comes with depression. I used to hate that word - depression. I used to be afraid of it, as if naming my nightmare would make it more real. I've become accustomed to its manipulation, now - the way its self-hatred coils inside you, the way its fear winds itself around each of your ribs, the way it twines against your collarbones and strangles you and steals your breath, the way it makes a home of your body by becoming your body, by becoming you.
Your parents always warn you about strangers, but what if the stranger is you?

It is still progress
Even if it is slow
Have the courage
To continue on some more
Remember to keep the faith
As you go through that maze
Always rise up
Eventually, you will see brighter days

Opportunity will pass you on by
As your life sadly slips away
You are just drowning in despair
Filled with darkness everyday
Frustration will mount
As flames continue to burn
There is no one for you to blame
Nothing but a tough lesson for you to learn

If I close my eyes
Will life speed up,
Or will this drowning nightmare disappear?

If I stare longer into peaceful space
Can I take the place of that shining star...right above my head
Free of pain,
Free of aches,
Free of paralyzing thoughts,
Free to touch the skies?

If I close my eyes under falling rain
Will it wash away all the purple hues from my bruising skin?
Will the bruises vanish
Leaving me untarnished?

I will trust in You
While you're holding me
Bringing me to WHOLE
I will someday soar
Under golden skies

Once again to run
While the miles shrink
I will pass this trial
I will conquer all with YOU by my side
YOU will keep me strong
Help me face this thunder as I hit the floor

When
Tomorrow comes making all brand new
My body shall heal, so that once again I can run through rain washing all this pain
I will run through fields,
Fields of marigold, the scent of HOPE
Replenishing my soul!