I could never get a straight answer from her, the words didn’t turn crooked at the edges of her mouth. They just didn’t come out… Her forehead would wrinkle, creating a fold at the delta of her brow and nose. She would close her eyes and occasionally flash those electric blues in my direction. I could not help but admire how beautiful she looked trapped in her own indecisiveness. This woman would be the death of me, but **** it, I loved her, I loved her so much that my unanswered questions would never be enough until she confessed to me, she was in love.

I wish I had the courage
When I last stood
In front of you
To tell you
And if I only could
Stand in front of you
One more time
On more moment
I would tell you
Not for your love
In return or to feel
This love that has burned
And consumed and haunted me
Both night and day
In dreams and fantasy
Pass from my lips to yours
Not to ****** your flesh
And remove your clothes
Rain my fingertips over your skin
Not to hear you whisper and moan
And shout under sheets
Not to claim your soul
Or your name
In that moment...
No
I want that moment
To reveal that this love
Smiles madly and lives completely
Feels impossibly and dances wildly
Lasts eternaly for the beauty
And perfection of the stars
And heavens and endless bliss
It finds in you
And against time and distance
And possiblity it will always stand
And burn with its hand outstreched
Should you want or desire
Or need
Or not
It will live and love
Alone or together
It exists only by the chance
And the luck of that
First moment when my
Heart knew it had always
Loved you

Tree
***** wood
Your wrists tied
I rage for you
Ecstasy

It's dark.
Sounds like a rainstorm and smells like fragrant fire. But the earth underground is thirstier than what sulfur and dead things and various excrements can quench.
And the scent may be a brain tumor,
or even better some drug-induced hallucination;
either way it feels amazing.

I'd just love to slap these stupid feelings
in their pretty faces, I bet that'd also feel
pretty amazing.

a million oscillating fans and still so much heat.
divine metallic miasma .

Is there something pathological about how
I like to see the hurt & desperation & the shock that I cause? Cuz I've been told this type of behavior is 'odd.'

...I don't see it.

I mean,

I do feel remorse out of narcissism
& for my own wants & gains.

It's just a *****, ***** game.


Everyone plays one or the other.