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Madeysin Apr 25
I don’t feel beautiful. But when he holds me I do.
Madeysin Mar 24
Your back a map to sleepily tell you how I love you so
Your shoulder blades always a consistent ache
My face finds the crook in your chest
Hallowed out to hold my heart steadfast
Mar 24 · 43
Eat eat eat
Madeysin Mar 24
I don’t often run into my collar bones
My hands are too busy tugging on the too tight knit shirt
Today I didn’t have to fight the stitching off
It hugged my knees loosely
Enough room for you, me and all the hungry ghosts between us
I don’t often run into my collar bones
Today you could drink from them
Jan 21 · 306
Alive
Madeysin Jan 21
When you laughed you took all the air from out of our lungs & for the first time I was glad to see you selfish.
Jan 10 · 99
Avouer
Madeysin Jan 10
The deepest intake
The shallowest chest cavity
Held nothing for me
Deuteronomy
Nov 2020 · 443
Toast
Madeysin Nov 2020
I glued my legs together with black berry jam
The sweetest spread
Nov 2020 · 169
Letters to Dad
Madeysin Nov 2020
Did you become an alcoholic because of a girl or because of the world?
Whatever your answer is, same.
Oct 2020 · 95
Settled
Madeysin Oct 2020
Today I made love to myself with the windows open
The breeze blew my legs ajar
The wind whistled and tickled me all the way to my core
Today I made love to myself with the windows open
Mother Nature called me a *****
Sep 2020 · 57
Losing it
Madeysin Sep 2020
Pull at the seams
Knot up your dreams
Pack away the magazines

Your skin a thin sheen, stretched and smacked against your thighs

Your frame a sagging conundrum to be condemned by the click

Weight loss is a huge trick
The more you lose the less you, you are
Aug 2020 · 135
Theater
Madeysin Aug 2020
I stepped off & I stepped out
The curtain closed & I with it
Swept up into the rafters to rest
A melodramatic sarcophagus
Aug 2020 · 83
Bella Notte
Madeysin Aug 2020
Pillowed chest cavity,
Accordion to articulate the pressure in my clavicle.

A firm press to seep out the excess,
To access my insides,
To accept I’ll never be like those other girls.

To drape this weight along my neck, is too much to bare. I’d hand it off to you, but you’re not there.

Atlas
Jul 2020 · 234
Copper
Madeysin Jul 2020
Living on the edge with so many stipulations, suffocating
Jul 2020 · 101
Tell tale
Madeysin Jul 2020
Nothing mattered, other than the desperation of needing each other.
Just that consummated closeness.
A craving.
Jul 2020 · 64
An if
Madeysin Jul 2020
I’ve got a hunting dog on my back, he sniffs out my sadness, he’s always on the right track.
Madeysin Jul 2020
Speechless like an undertow,
Barreling towards the sandy coffin you always expected but never wanted to admit.

Breathless like tongue tied gills,
The light ebbing from your eyes, the water is cooler inside.

Lifeless like when he tells you he doesn’t have the capacity to love you but he has fallen for another.

We’re all speechless in this undertow, barreling unexpectedly expecting to be hurt but not quite ready for that sting. I am breathless from tying my tongue with yours every night for months and never being kissed back. I am calm, I am collected, I am collecting myself from you. My life is less without you but I am more.
Jul 2020 · 67
Tod
Madeysin Jul 2020
Tod
She said I’ve got a problem with parents
And I said what about when you are one
And she said I never will
And I said you already are
Jul 2020 · 79
Ode
Madeysin Jul 2020
Ode
I wanna have enough friends that two people can carry the cake out when they sing happy birthday
Jul 2020 · 196
Tilt
Madeysin Jul 2020
I’ll tuck the tears back behind my eyelids.
Keep them closed like the window on the fourth floor my mom always kept locked so I wouldn’t leap.
Jul 2020 · 110
To go box
Madeysin Jul 2020
Your face fell between my thighs, cradled, rock-a-bye, never eat more than you can handle. Always use your forks and knives.
Jul 2020 · 64
Divinity
Madeysin Jul 2020
What is it
That noise you make
That soft hum so distinct
So full of distain
Disgust

Prayer
Jul 2020 · 52
Dare
Madeysin Jul 2020
Scorn me, scorch me, sink your suckling teeth into me. But don’t you ever ******* say you love me.
Jul 2020 · 71
One set of chopsticks
Madeysin Jul 2020
How much of me do you not need?

Because when I offered you accepted everything willingly.

You stuffed your face with frivolity.

Selfishly gulped down my heart and with it my insecurities.

When you were finished, you gave your compliments to the chef and told me you never wanted any of it.
Jul 2020 · 106
Absent
Madeysin Jul 2020
You put your head on my leg, weighing it down. But weight doesn’t make you stay. Weight doesn’t anchor you to the bay. Weight can keep you afloat, lighter than the water. Heavier than the waves. It can keep you warm during a winters storm. Safe from frigid contrasts. You put your head on my leg, weighing it down.

I cut it off and crawled away
Jul 2020 · 309
Peace
Madeysin Jul 2020
I wish your sincerity would reverberate through me, bounce back and clothe you
Jun 2020 · 104
Green
Madeysin Jun 2020
A clean slate on my wrist. Fall asleep with the fan off, you won’t be missed.

Start again or don’t, breathe again

No, I think I wont
Jun 2020 · 219
Running
Madeysin Jun 2020
Flightless bird with you, with him I always find the wind beneath my wings.
Jun 2020 · 41
Here for the Ride
Madeysin Jun 2020
The orange traffic cones follow me like ghosts, weaving up the highway. Trying to help me get home.

Home is a blurred side eyed view in the passenger seat.
Jun 2020 · 87
חגורה
Madeysin Jun 2020
Count the stripes on your back, to equal out what your step dad thinks you lack. To make sure you never bleed out from those masses of granulation tissue. Fine lines to define your worth, girl. To feel the flames lick down your back, to wish for death, to only wake up again.

Isiah 53: 3-7 is *******
Jun 2020 · 66
Linoleum
Madeysin Jun 2020
And if you’re dancing again, the ghost will follow your foot steps. Clamber up to your chest cavity and dive in. Die in. Die inside. Stopped dancing again.
Jun 2020 · 85
Binding
Madeysin Jun 2020
Something spiritual how a rain coat keeps you warmer than last years winter jacket.
Jun 2020 · 65
Messenger
Madeysin Jun 2020
I’m going to love the hate out of you, it’ll pool at your feet and we will kick it away.
May 2020 · 91
Randy
Madeysin May 2020
Something comforting about how the gears grinds and clicks. Like you’re in control of what happens next.
May 2020 · 81
Dull
Madeysin May 2020
Hum drum of hookups, silique symphony. A long line of history, bad timing and misery. One night stands and two night bands traveling along my hip bones. If you play me right you just might get an encore.
May 2020 · 106
Full
Madeysin May 2020
I started writing but I stopped eating
May 2020 · 104
Bested
Madeysin May 2020
I’ll share the sunshine with you, even if it’s behind a windowpane.
May 2020 · 86
Sol
Madeysin May 2020
Sol
Are you running after life, or is the after life running after you?
May 2020 · 126
And Never Look Back
Madeysin May 2020
With every tale of a past adventure, you told me how you’re going to leave me in the future.
Apr 2020 · 118
Was it worth it
Madeysin Apr 2020
My servitude to calorie counting. Small bites and bitter ends. Weighed and tried and found guilty of a chocolate demise?
Apr 2020 · 95
Plaid Sheets
Madeysin Apr 2020
Tap out, tap in, tap into me
Holy water, maple syrup
Geyser of ecstasy
*** in me
Apr 2020 · 74
Ex ex ex
Madeysin Apr 2020
Called me doll as an endearment,
I hear it as a fear meant,
To drag me back to you
Mar 2020 · 430
Sediment
Madeysin Mar 2020
The worst things last for 30 minutes
The best things last for 30 seconds
Life happens between those moments.
Mar 2020 · 179
Twice
Madeysin Mar 2020
Meet me in the middle
Where the threads unwind and whittle
My spine weaves and squiggles
Symphony of sighs
You’re my relief
Mar 2020 · 175
Long
Madeysin Mar 2020
Willingly bill me for a kiss still lingering on your lips. Sweat stained sheets. I’d apologize if I had the guts, but I gave them to you.
Mar 2020 · 121
Fairy tale
Madeysin Mar 2020
I judge you for your idols and superstitions,
But here I am, praying for you to love me. Hoping beyond hope if I zip my lips and sit on my fists you will
Mar 2020 · 120
Mom
Madeysin Mar 2020
Mom
How do I tell you I want to die, without handing you the gun?
Mar 2020 · 119
Generational Mental Illness
Madeysin Mar 2020
You draped this mantle round my shivering shoulders, tied it tightly to my neck. Kept the cold out and the anxiety in. You birthed a bouquet of depression, and you fill my vase every chance you get. Kept the cold out and the anxiety in. Bestowed upon me this token of toting your baggage around.
Mar 2020 · 109
Create Love
Madeysin Mar 2020
If I could be on the brink, I’d be on the edge of you. ******* down from the high, height. Steepened with deepened strokes.
Feb 2020 · 85
Meddle Puddle
Madeysin Feb 2020
I hope he gives you the future he promised me in pink
Feb 2020 · 82
Hot air balloon
Madeysin Feb 2020
If I fill myself with worry I’ll be weightless, drift away with glass eyes and a timber temperament. They call it bipolar, I call it drifting north. I’m afraid of heights
Feb 2020 · 155
Paged
Madeysin Feb 2020
I’d close my book, pick the prettiest font for The End. Dust to dust
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