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Sep 1 · 15
Losing it
Madeysin Sep 1
Pull at the seams
Knot up your dreams
Pack away the magazines

Your skin a thin sheen, stretched and smacked against your thighs

Your frame a sagging conundrum to be condemned by the click

Weight loss is a huge trick
The more you lose the less you, you are
Aug 11 · 89
Theater
Madeysin Aug 11
I stepped off & I stepped out
The curtain closed & I with it
Swept up into the rafters to rest
A melodramatic sarcophagus
Aug 5 · 38
Bella Notte
Madeysin Aug 5
Pillowed chest cavity,
Accordion to articulate the pressure in my clavicle.

A firm press to seep out the excess,
To access my insides,
To accept I’ll never be like those other girls.

To drape this weight along my neck, is too much to bare. I’d hand it off to you, but you’re not there.

Atlas
Jul 30 · 177
Copper
Madeysin Jul 30
Living on the edge with so many stipulations, suffocating
Jul 28 · 46
Tell tale
Madeysin Jul 28
Nothing mattered, other than the desperation of needing each other.
Just that consummated closeness.
A craving.
Jul 25 · 33
An if
Madeysin Jul 25
I’ve got a hunting dog on my back, he sniffs out my sadness, he’s always on the right track.
Madeysin Jul 25
Speechless like an undertow,
Barreling towards the sandy coffin you always expected but never wanted to admit.

Breathless like tongue tied gills,
The light ebbing from your eyes, the water is cooler inside.

Lifeless like when he tells he doesn’t have the capacity to love you but he has fallen for another.

We’re all speechless in this undertow, barreling unexpectedly expecting to be hurt but not quite ready for that sting. I am breathless from tying my tongue with yours every night for months and never being kissed back. I am calm, I am collected, I am collecting myself from you. My life is less without you but I am more.
Jul 19 · 37
Tod
Madeysin Jul 19
Tod
She said I’ve got a problem with parents
And I said what about when you are one
And she said I never will
And I said you already are
Jul 17 · 37
Ode
Madeysin Jul 17
Ode
I wanna have enough friends that two people can carry the cake out when they sing happy birthday
Jul 8 · 153
Tilt
Madeysin Jul 8
I’ll tuck the tears back behind my eyelids.
Keep them closed like the window on the fourth floor my mom always kept locked so I wouldn’t leap.
Jul 8 · 61
To go box
Madeysin Jul 8
Your face fell between my thighs, cradled, rock-a-bye, never eat more than you can handle. Always use your forks and knives.
Jul 8 · 27
Divinity
Madeysin Jul 8
What is it
That noise you make
That soft hum so distinct
So full of distain
Disgust

Prayer
Jul 8 · 26
Dare
Madeysin Jul 8
Scorn me, scorch me, sink your suckling teeth into me. But don’t you ever ******* say you love me.
Jul 8 · 40
One set of chopsticks
Madeysin Jul 8
How much of me do you not need?

Because when I offered you accepted everything willingly.

You stuffed your face with frivolity.

Selfishly gulped down my heart and with it my insecurities.

When you were finished, you gave your compliments to the chef and told me you never wanted any of it.
Jul 8 · 59
Absent
Madeysin Jul 8
You put your head on my leg, weighing it down. But weight doesn’t make you stay. Weight doesn’t anchor you to the bay. Weight can keep you afloat, lighter than the water. Heavier than the waves. It can keep you warm during a winters storm. Safe from frigid contrasts. You put your head on my leg, weighing it down.

I cut it off and crawled away
Jul 7 · 278
Peace
Madeysin Jul 7
I wish your sincerity would reverberate through me, bounce back and clothe you
Jun 26 · 48
Green
Madeysin Jun 26
A clean slate on my wrist. Fall asleep with the fan off, you won’t be missed.

Start again or don’t, breathe again

No, I think I wont
Jun 24 · 194
Running
Madeysin Jun 24
Flightless bird with you, with him I always find the wind beneath my wings.
Jun 20 · 30
Here for the Ride
Madeysin Jun 20
The orange traffic cones follow me like ghosts, weaving up the highway. Trying to help me get home.

Home is a blurred side eyed view in the passenger seat.
Jun 17 · 53
חגורה
Madeysin Jun 17
Count the stripes on your back, to equal out what your step dad thinks you lack. To make sure you never bleed out from those masses of granulation tissue. Fine lines to define your worth, girl. To feel the flames lick down your back, to wish for death, to only wake up again.

Isiah 53: 3-7 is *******
Jun 17 · 37
Linoleum
Madeysin Jun 17
And if you’re dancing again, the ghost will follow your foot steps. Clamber up to your chest cavity and dive in. Die in. Die inside. Stopped dancing again.
Jun 17 · 52
Binding
Madeysin Jun 17
Something spiritual how a rain coat keeps you warmer than last years winter jacket.
Jun 10 · 50
Messenger
Madeysin Jun 10
I’m going to love the hate out of you, it’ll pool at your feet and we will kick it away.
May 28 · 56
Randy
Madeysin May 28
Something comforting about how the gears grinds and clicks. Like you’re in control of what happens next.
May 20 · 48
Dull
Madeysin May 20
Hum drum of hookups, silique symphony. A long line of history, bad timing and misery. One night stands and two night bands traveling along my hip bones. If you play me right you just might get an encore.
May 18 · 63
Full
Madeysin May 18
I started writing but I stopped eating
May 18 · 71
Bested
Madeysin May 18
I’ll share the sunshine with you, even if it’s behind a windowpane.
May 18 · 57
Sol
Madeysin May 18
Sol
Are you running after life, or is the after life running after you?
May 18 · 69
And Never Look Back
Madeysin May 18
With every tale of a past adventure, you told me how you’re going to leave me in the future.
Apr 13 · 87
Was it worth it
Madeysin Apr 13
My servitude to calorie counting. Small bites and bitter ends. Weighed and tried and found guilty of a chocolate demise?
Apr 11 · 72
Plaid Sheets
Madeysin Apr 11
Tap out, tap in, tap into me
Holy water, maple syrup
Geyser of ecstasy
*** in me
Apr 6 · 53
Ex ex ex
Madeysin Apr 6
Called me doll as an endearment,
I hear it as a fear meant,
To drag me back to you
Mar 31 · 384
Sediment
Madeysin Mar 31
The worst things last for 30 minutes
The best things last for 30 seconds
Life happens between those moments.
Mar 22 · 151
Twice
Madeysin Mar 22
Meet me in the middle
Where the threads unwind and whittle
My spine weaves and squiggles
Symphony of sighs
You’re my relief
Mar 19 · 137
Long
Madeysin Mar 19
Willingly bill me for a kiss still lingering on your lips. Sweat stained sheets. I’d apologize if I had the guts, but I gave them to you.
Mar 19 · 88
Fairy tale
Madeysin Mar 19
I judge you for your idols and superstitions,
But here I am, praying for you to love me. Hoping beyond hope if I zip my lips and sit on my fists you will
Mar 1 · 87
Mom
Madeysin Mar 1
Mom
How do I tell you I want to die, without handing you the gun?
Madeysin Mar 1
You draped this mantle round my shivering shoulders, tied it tightly to my neck. Kept the cold out and the anxiety in. You birthed a bouquet of depression, and you fill my vase every chance you get. Kept the cold out and the anxiety in. Bestowed upon me this token of toting your baggage around.
Mar 1 · 78
Create Love
Madeysin Mar 1
If I could be on the brink, I’d be on the edge of you. ******* down from the high, height. Steepened with deepened strokes.
Feb 27 · 55
Meddle Puddle
Madeysin Feb 27
I hope he gives you the future he promised me in pink
Feb 22 · 64
Hot air balloon
Madeysin Feb 22
If I fill myself with worry I’ll be weightless, drift away with glass eyes and a timber temperament. They call it bipolar, I call it drifting north. I’m afraid of heights
Feb 19 · 130
Paged
Madeysin Feb 19
I’d close my book, pick the prettiest font for The End. Dust to dust
Feb 6 · 66
Title flight
Madeysin Feb 6
I thought about swinging from the rafters, shakey knees and creaky floorboards. Shaken mothers and crying kids. A rope to pillow my descent.
Jan 30 · 78
Pressed
Madeysin Jan 30
I finger myself to your words. Touched by yours truly, truly touched by yours
Jan 30 · 139
Tomorrow
Madeysin Jan 30
Sleep to banish the sad, sleep to seep up the tears from my face, sleep to reap the benefits of death.
Jan 27 · 243
Pickup
Madeysin Jan 27
I wonder if you got caught or catched or just can’t

Talk to me
Dec 2019 · 97
Title Flight
Madeysin Dec 2019
A joke to choke on
Dec 2019 · 80
Pepsinogen
Madeysin Dec 2019
You forgot about me. Or maybe you wish you could. I can still taste myself on your fingertips. Dance with your silhouette, feel the silk sheet aftermath. Turn the light on and laminate this holy ground.
Madeysin Dec 2019
I felt the child grow between the cracks of trauma. Filling in the gaps, sweeping out the excess. Womb full of life when only death was promised to me. I watched winter come and go, and with it you went. I felt the hunger grow between the cracks of trauma. Filling in the gaps, sweeping out the excess.
Dec 2019 · 63
Trans-parent
Madeysin Dec 2019
I wanted to **** myself, and you were screaming about the ***** clothes on the floor.
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