I hate you

I hate you
how i hate coffee
I hate you
how i hate Math
i hate you
how i hate mornings
i hate you
how i hate thunderous songs
i hate you
how i hate cigarettes
i hate you
how i hate goodbyes
i hate you
how i hate promises
i hate you
how i hate unsaid words
i hate you
how i hate unfinished sentences
I hate you
how i hate unsolved problems
i hate you
how i hate my calculus teacher
i hate you
how i hate myself

you were as bitter as my cup of coffee
you were as x to my y - as complicated as Math
you were as cold and dull as my morning
you were as intimidating and overpowering as thunderous songs
you were as foggy and tempting to want yet bad for me as a cigarette
you were about to say goodbye
yet
you reminded me about my promises
and i say "I've got nothing to lose"
you were always so close to being mine
so close to being yours
so close to being in love
and how i hated that
as how i hated unsaid words

it was almost an undefined love
it was almost addicting
it was almost worth fighting for
almost
almost
and how i hated that
as how i hated unfinished sentences

you were always at the edge
always at the corner of a wall
always at the end of a road
always at the end of a cliff

you just stop - just give up, just like that
and how, for *****' sake - but how i hate it
as how i hate unsolved problems

you were as boring as my calculus teacher

i couldn't loosen up
i couldn't wait
i shake
i freeze
i'm having trouble sleeping
i'm having trouble writing

and for god's sake
i hate this crazy feeling
i hate you
but apparently,
we were
consistently
invariably
adequately
alike

and how i hated it
with every single letter in every single word;
as how i hated myself

If I were leave tonight,
write poems for me.
Let your words go out further
than I ever could.
Use them to create
elms with branches that curl
in all directions
so that birds can grab to them
like you grab onto your heart.
But when you do,
squeeze out your thoughts
onto paper to keep in touch.
Don't treat your emotions
like a distant neighbor.

If I were to leave tonight,
make sure to explore.
Find new things
to expand your mind
beyond fence posts
set up by yourself.
Look under ever rock
and read about lies beneath.
Let your surroundings be
your greatest teacher.

If I were to leave tonight,
make sure to find someone
you care about.
Treat her like you've never met
a person such as she
Beauty never touched your eyes
until you met her
She makes oceans
move with lips
and fingertips.
Sail them with her.
And hey,
even write a poem for her.
Let her know you care.

And if  you leave tonight,
I will do the same,