I hate you

I hate you
how i hate coffee
I hate you
how i hate Math
i hate you
how i hate mornings
i hate you
how i hate thunderous songs
i hate you
how i hate cigarettes
i hate you
how i hate goodbyes
i hate you
how i hate promises
i hate you
how i hate unsaid words
i hate you
how i hate unfinished sentences
I hate you
how i hate unsolved problems
i hate you
how i hate my calculus teacher
i hate you
how i hate myself

you were as bitter as my cup of coffee
you were as x to my y - as complicated as Math
you were as cold and dull as my morning
you were as intimidating and overpowering as thunderous songs
you were as foggy and tempting to want yet bad for me as a cigarette
you were about to say goodbye
yet
you reminded me about my promises
and i say "I've got nothing to lose"
you were always so close to being mine
so close to being yours
so close to being in love
and how i hated that
as how i hated unsaid words

it was almost an undefined love
it was almost addicting
it was almost worth fighting for
almost
almost
and how i hated that
as how i hated unfinished sentences

you were always at the edge
always at the corner of a wall
always at the end of a road
always at the end of a cliff

you just stop - just give up, just like that
and how, for *****' sake - but how i hate it
as how i hate unsolved problems

you were as boring as my calculus teacher

i couldn't loosen up
i couldn't wait
i shake
i freeze
i'm having trouble sleeping
i'm having trouble writing

and for god's sake
i hate this crazy feeling
i hate you
but apparently,
we were
consistently
invariably
adequately
alike

and how i hated it
with every single letter in every single word;
as how i hated myself