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Been lost so long it feels like home
Been high so long it feels like down
But that's alright
Yea, it's okay
Down here
We all live this way

I steal and I rob for the things I've got
Until they're stolen from me
Mostly I rob to pay for dope
A piece of oblivion in place of hope
But that's alright
Man, it's okay
We live and die this way

I'm losing my teeth
And my lips are cracked
My face looks as though
It's made of wax
I'm thin enough to walk through walls
And I can't ever remember walking tall
Still, it's alright
yea, it's okay
It'll always be this way

                                      By Phil Roberts
Juke is a composite of a couple of young men I used to know.
 Sep 2016 Louise Ruen
xmxrgxncy
Hello, and welcome to my personal wormhole.
My depths of despair,
my heaven,
my escape,
my life.

Your terminology may vary.

But read yourself into the depths of your being when you see this:

My life. On a screen. On a page.

It may not be pretty, and it may be written like the homework of a kindergarten child in need of a penmanship lesson.

But here it is.

Enjoy my experiences, scream at the agony, laugh at the joy, all of it is here.

You once told me you could read me like a book.

Now is the time for you
to be checking
your answers.
BECAUSE HELLO AND *** I CAN'T BELIEVE I SENT YOU HERE>_<
 Sep 2016 Louise Ruen
L B
Route 84 would not lend me
the light of a star last night
Radio blazing at 75 mph
nonsense noise to chew gum by
Crackling political commentary
Static of distance and thick clouds
Invisible mountains blocking
Memories seeping through the cracks
coating the music in a film
I rub my eyes
watch myself punch alert buttons
But it’s the angels’ jukebox tonight

Roll down the window
Watch the heat escape

Summer again

I am building a castle of ancient stones
pulverized by relentless tides
Dragged across maps by mastodons
and mammoth glaciers
The scouring hiss
the ocean sighs
Time has lulled these smoothly
rolling them in the softest hands of sand
and gels of life’s comings and goings
tenderly tumbling
in the millionth moonrise—
Time deposits them here
wet and glistening

For the girl with the plaid two-piece to gather
Shoulders sun-burnt barely say
one week only,
one week of the fifty two
“It’s the time of the season…”
and daddies on the beach are watching….

She has chosen yet another stone
And the castle continues—
in oblivion to all but her legend…

     The queen will be safe here
     from the rabble
     The disgraced Tristan will surely seek her
     Among these lofty cliffs
     Between the raging circuit of the tide
     Here winds forbid the vengeful mob
     Here lovers learn
     the debt of love’s bad timing
     “Drink ye all of it!”
     --the potion that assigns our sorrow….
     She will not sleep—
     while I chew this gum--  GUM?

Roll down the window!

Angels escape with the heat
Waking me with the brush of their wings

As that eighteen-wheeler hugs my flank
And leans on the horn
Lights flashing
Rude rumbling under right tires
Tantrum of snow
In the draft of mass and velocity

…and the angels?
They’ve chosen another good one!
They must’ve liked the 80’s
Their wings slapping the windshield madly  
Their hands steady the wheel
As a fourteen-year old, I picked up a book to read at the beach about the legend of the lovers, Tristan and Iseult.  I was so captivated by their story that it ruled my imagination that summer.  

Anyway, I still think of it when I think of the ocean-- as I did on this cold dark occasion when I should have pulled off somewhere for a coffee, but I was trying to beat the snow storm home.
Route 84, also known as Dead Bambi Highway, has a desolate, treacherous section going over the mountains between NY and Pennsylvania.  Didn't have much option for music at the time, so I leaned heavily on the radio pushing the search button to find anything bearable-- not too much static.
Song reference in this: "Time of the Season" by the Zombies-- all time favorite beach song that happened to be on the radio that night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBxK3CcOQD8
 Sep 2016 Louise Ruen
Stephan
Of you
 Sep 2016 Louise Ruen
Stephan
~
If less really is more
then I want less, because
I definitely want more
~
 Sep 2016 Louise Ruen
Stephan
.

I was in a meeting, the boardroom was full
testosterone flowed everywhere
Dressed in a polo, but high dollar suits
were what the execs chose to wear

I sat at the end, with a chair next to me,
where no one decided to sit
Feeling quite weird, I was new to this place
and wondered if I’d be a fit

Them in their ties and me underdressed,
my khakis were old, kind of thin
Button down shirts and cuff links of gold
I guess there’s no chance I’ll fit in

A half hour gone, bored out of my mind,
when I couldn’t believe what I saw
A beautiful woman, a pant suit of silk,
came in from out there in the hall

Her hair chocolate brown with eyes just the same,
she rushed as she looked for a seat
Then sat in the chair, I was happy to share,
now this was a wonderful treat

She said, “**** I’m late, I forgot to stop
and look at my schedule last night”
I said, “That’s okay, they’ve not much to say
I’m sure that it will be alright”

We sat there a while, I stared at her smile,
just hoping she wouldn’t catch me
When then she stood up, it was her time to talk
my god, she was smart, I could see

A room full of men, one amazing woman
and she put them all in their place
Yes, she knew her stuff and I was impressed
but the board, oh the look on their face

They grumbled and groaned and snorted a bit,
but knew today something they learned
I laughed deep inside, when one then stood up
and said to us “meeting adjourned”

I said, “You were great, even though you were late,
and you look so good in that suit”
She said, “Thanks so much, I’m glad you approve
and by the way I think you’re cute”

I got up the nerve and asked her if she’d
like to join me for coffee or tea
She said, “That sounds nice, but I’d much prefer
a drink, sounds much better to me”

I said , “It’s a date and please don’t be late”
She giggled and flashed me a grin
It’s then that I knew, no worries at all,
this place I would surely fit in
 Sep 2016 Louise Ruen
Jayanta
Everything misplaced
Mountain, hills, plateau, plain …..

Everything misplaced
Ocean, river, stream, lake…….

Everything misplaced
Happiness, serenity, tranquility ….

Everything misplaced
Humanity, empathy, brotherhood ….

Everything covered up
With masculinity of machines and pride!
I will never forgive you for the way
you tore my heart right out of my chest
and left me on the ground to die.
This is the art of giving someone everything
you possibly can and loving until
you had nothing
for someone to decide they didn't want you in
their life.
this is ******.
This is someone giving you an oxygen tank
to help you breathe
to take it away a year and a half later
and expect you to breathe on your own.
This is how you rebuild yourself because
you were my other half and since you left
I only feel like I am half.
this is what you did to me.
I will never forgive you.
 Sep 2016 Louise Ruen
Stephan
.

Lost, on a shattered plain of existence
Counting vultures circling over head
Naming them to make them seem familiar
Friends with black wings
Looking down
Screaming across the valley
High pitched warnings
Feedback off of dark clouds
Lying here alone…once again alone
A brokenhearted man
Wondering who is holding her now,
What I could have or should have said
Sifting the waters of my mind
Searching for that one gold nugget
That last shining piece of hope
That I can clutch in my hands
But it is not there
And my feathered friends are getting closer
Lower, a hungry expression on their faces
Drooling at the thought
And I point and yell
There is nothing here
Nothing left
Just an empty soul
Staring at an end
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