I should not be so easily read
A book by its cover, judge dredd
An enigma works for me
A minority report of my soul to be
All bets I aim to hedge
Yet a blade runner on knife's edge
With total recall I can see
The true nature of my history
So lay waste to my bones
I tire of playing this game of thrones
For I like the walking dead
Should not be so easily read...

Be a writer who doesn't know where the next sentence will take her. A writer who focuses on her own self, studying her own brain. A writer whose heart is bursting with love and desire. A writer sly enough to give the clues to her secrets in the crevices of her pages. A writer whose words spread thought in others to give people a sense of purpose. But it's alright that she doesn't always know what she's thinking until she writes it. It's as if the words already exist somewhere and they just pour out of her thoughts. Be a writer whose mind is such a twisted place, crammed full of beauty, with darkness, the sun and a touch of madness.

I didn't really know much about whirlwind love
or shotgun weddings
Until I went out with a forbidden boy in my new city
almost immediately we were struck by lightning
electric and on fire
with his hand on my face
dancing and kissing and sweating and laughing
someone thought we were married
so to make it right
he got down on one knee and I spent the week as Mrs. S
I broke all my own rules with him
*** with the lights on, holding hands in public
giving up my jaded and calloused heart
my favorite moment?
standing in the shower with him
listening to Beach House
hot water falling on us like sweet honey in the summertime
the soft glow of afternoon sunshine beaming in from the window
we took turns washing each other's hair
and kissing each other's necks
nothing has ever felt so pure
so safe
so beautiful
-

I fought my inhibitions
but nature pulled through

Breaking barriers of what if's
unclothing all those hidden thoughts

Naked and free, I bashfully
bathed in my liberty
succumbing to all things "now"

For I have found beauty
in the "momentary"
and the naturally
inevitable

We almost made it
Hence the word almost
You left with no trace

Do you regret leaving?
I* am a mess without you
Don't pretend we were nothing

You promised you'd be there for me
Only me
Unfortunately, you lied

Liquor is now your replacement
Eating seems pointless
After you left, everything lost meaning
Volcano meets tornado
Erase my foolishness

Maybe I still love you
Even now, when you don't deserve it

*?