I sit thumbs over my iPods key board
On a bus to work
Thinking back with a feeling;
Longing?
Nostalgia?
Regret?
What is this?
A question with no answer?
Or
A question with many?
Is death's grip on reality
as strong as I perceive?
I remember sitting in your class
I remember thinking endlessly,
"How do I overcome this anger"
When I learned of your death,
I was at home,
Packing,
Planning my escape to the west coast.
Where Summer becomes Fall
And
Fall never ends until Summer's return.

I'm not sure what day it was,
I'm not sure I want to remember.
No, I know I don't.
It's approaching a year.

I regret not seeing you more.
The indefinite absence of you
Has me thinking a lot.

About mortality
About spirituality
About what I can call progress.

Losing you is but growing pains.
Losing you is but life
Losing you is unfair
To the lost sheep you'll never guide
To the path of self worth.
In your place I'll do my best.
But I don't know if my heart is capable of unconditional love
Like yours for your students was.

i was holding her
hand thinking, our
love is like filling a balloon it
gets bigger
and brighter - with every
breath - it wants to
embrace the sun
our love wants to fly
my love, your hands
they're ice cold -
i know, she whispered -
i know
i was thinking
about her hands
holding
a pen
holding a gun
holding a bagel
holding onto life

don't forget to remind them that
you have lightening running
through your bones and
that you're not easily shaken
like the thunderstorms in your
mind.
tell them that while you may
be four parts of a disaster
your house was built to stand
lungs not ready to collapse
and your heart was made to love
despite all the Hurricanes raging inside
of you.

The quieter he became ...
the more he could feel
only a single lit candle
moved the stillness ,
gripping the void between
lucency and obscure darkness

longing eyes slipped slowly closed
as the flicker faded ,
inner quietude dimming all light
the darker it got ...
the more vividly he could see

a nearly silent exhaled sigh
let the memories flood ;
leaning into the bereft
where there once was light ,
he became a timeless silence
                              without form
                     only shaped by retracing
                        re-remembered words

yearning to understand
some of the greater things life unfolds
experiencing the unknown
                             without fear ,
                      for to clinch and feel
that which seems indefinable

     for here ,
in this formless
manifest dimension ,
all layers of essence
are peeled back
to the bared aurora
of a soul's spirit light ;

at the core of inner stillness
      nothing is impossible ...



© H A Rivers all rights reserved

The one handed thief ran out of the bank and jumped into the getaway car only to realize it was a four on the floor with stick shift .

I gave love.
I shown love.
I felt love.
So why many wants to destroy love?
Tell, me what's the purpose of it?

I been love.
I shared love.
I accepted being loved.
But for some reason's love gets the blunt of all our hurt.


If we share it to certain degree this world would  be so much better.
Oh, the magic of love.

Lost in rays of acclaims, is the single dad.
For whatever reason that he is?
Many guys lives up to the challenge.

They request no accolades.
They ask for no honors at all.
Yes, there are some males that can do it all.

Attend PTO meetings.
Attend sport events.
And have sisters, aunts, mothers to support them.

Sometimes these Super women mothers forget to mention them.

The single dad that loves their child attention and do the home work and more.