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They say we must fight to have peace
we must be prepared for war
we must be willing and ready...

and I wonder...
where is the math
in what equation
can this possible lead to peace

where does a gun plus a gun
add a plane and a tank
drop a bomb
subtract a life
multiply the bodies by death
take a way the future
from the boys pretending to be men
minus the weight of blood
from the additional price of pride
weigh the value of the stones
planted above the freshly dug graves
count the number of tears
from the grieving mothers
collect the broken pieces of the hearts
from the children that will never know
the voice of their fathers
divide it all up
and let the wealthy enjoy the feast
provided by the misery we endure
as we sacrifice our children
to keep the peace

the peace...
where is the peace in this
what war was won
that defines this as peace
and who was the winner
who did the gods favor
on what side did death
cheer and rejoice in

how many graves do we have to dig
and fill over and over again
how many children crusades
will we watch before we admit

god ******

there just ******* kids
killing kids
our children
murdering one another

how long will we purposely allow
this ****** definition of peace
to perpetuate the hate
that keeps war alive
this ugly excuse that does nothing
but bury any path to peace

to love

to humanity
learning to be humane
to one another

fighting for peace
will never add up
to the end of war
 Jan 2018 Lilly frost
It is time for you to fly on
Standing upright on the back of passions
You never needed me to validate
You're looking at the sunset alone
And there's no emptiness by your side
My words were a crutch that bent your back
And my love was just a metaphor

So now it's time for you to go
I didn't understand before what concerned me about you
It's that you're searching
For something you don't need
You have your bittersweet memories
Of laughs we shared
And because you had such a big heart
I never noticed it was hollow
Not wanting to be filled,
Not full of doubt,
Not waiting for a literary device to break it
But it encapsulated my lonesome one

So whether I got what I needed from you
Or you just needed a reason to smile
I gave you consent to break my heart
And I'm still waiting
Perhaps people are indeed predictable
But the most painful question is when

I know you have good intentions
This will be my choice, I fear
Your face is made of sun-stained pearls
And you nourished me with your warmth
Forgive me for showing you this power
Because you'll be glad to never have seen it before
I'll direct lightning
Down upon your synapses
I'll command rainfall
Down upon your cheeks
I'll order sea-smoke
Down upon your mind
Forgive me for my false assurances
You never gave me permission

We were never a perfect fit
But I deceived you with tender illusions
I grew like vines upon your dreams
I held your soul
I remember how it was soft and smooth
But then I touched the element of your awareness
And again I'm reminded how fondness
Is just a phase

There will always be love
In the salt of tears you'll shed
You'll remember when they made assumptions
That were only mostly wrong
I'll stand in the rain that some call romantic
Wondering if you're beating upon the glass
These words are my last gift to you
A lonely metaphor.
 Jan 2018 Lilly frost
it's alright
i need you
but i don't love you
i love you
in a way you love a close friend
and i know
my attachement might seem a bit too much
but you need to know
i'm not a person that feels love
in a way most people do
i do not fall in love
like the way you love a partner
i don't need a boy or girlfriend
i was born this way
and maybe
because i do not love
it is that when i get attached to people
it seems just too much
I sometimes wonder about how your chest feels when you pull away from me in moments I reach out to touch you
Mine aches
There are parts of me that have learned to attach themselves to people they can hide away in
My burrowing burdens
I always misinterpret this for love
It inevitably ruins me in the end
I am not one for leaving when it gets hard
You are
You are reminders of what I could have
Something I left behind in a moment of unwelcome honesty
I want to be vulnerable
There is such bravery in being truthfully raw
I am not brave but I am trying to be
I feel small when I am bare
Naked to you
Insignificantly present
The smell of a memory wakes me up every morning
I scrub it off of me and pretend I do not remember
I recall everything
I have you momentarily
Filled up
Still starved because I am not fulfilled
I whisper into you sometimes
You cannot hear the I love you in my tone
I put it there purposefully
Quiet enough to keep my heart safe
I am not yet capable of the words but will still attempt to say them
Am I as soft as I am intolerable?
Do not answer me
I just want to be held
 Jan 2018 Lilly frost
I'll stay here in my mind
A puppet master,
detached from my toes,
my body is so far away
and I don't want to return

I've receded into my skull
But deeper than that,
you'll find me among the trivia
gathering books like treasure
and setting them on fire

I'm an isolated intellectual
A hermit crab,
dragging my shell around
in this tide pool of existing
and cutting myself on seaglass

I'll hide behind the curtain
I'm a ventriloquist,
less real than you'd think
just the voice behind the words
and not the floating head

I'm the marionette
Tired of my show,
so one after another
snipping away my strings
until my eyelids fall
 Jan 2018 Lilly frost
 Jan 2018 Lilly frost
this poem
has a title
so that all who read it
that this poem has a meaning

because without something to reference
a name
or a title
things are left behind

just like me
in all the years
i tried to remain



untitled people
like me
are given no
second glances
first chances
social advances


left behind
like a poem
a name
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