I watched as all those months went by
Oh my how time flies

Didn't even know when the time was right.
I didn't know I was supposed to say goodbye

You left me stranded with my thoughts
How many times had we fought?

For all those days you sat in a hospital bed
It made my heart feel like lead

They told us you were coming home
But how were we to know?

**How were we to know you'd die and leave us all alone?

Someone once said standing under the rain it feels as if someone is washing your problems away.
Each tiny droplet cascading down your way holding tight to your body wiping each tears away.

Then why don't I feel that?
Each droplet brings me down making everything around me heavy.
Tears are added making me feel as if I've got a whole more to carry.
Each drop is like a tap on the shoulder only to turn to realise I'm alone.
The thunderstorm to worsen to bring about the feeling of loneliness.
The golden lighting to entice fear.
And the worse part is after everything else I'm probably going to get flu.
Leaving me to wallow on my own with no way of running away.

To the girls who are secretly so broken
You WILL be alright
I know you have scars on your soul
Maybe your heart
Possibly your wrists
None of this is your fault
And even if you think it is
Let it go
Not that you can, that easily
But try
I know you are broken
I know you're not okay
Especially when people ask how you are and you answer "I'm fine"
When what you really mean is "I'm alive"
But what do you really care about your own survival anymore
Well I just want you to know
There is beauty in broken glass
And to me
There is immeasurable beauty
In broken girls
So don't you ever forget
You cannot be defined by pain
You're too beautiful for that
Stay strong, broken girl
Nothing is ever really broken

It's cracking dropping
Breaking into bits that split
I'm holding on to it forever
Nothing can change truth
Open doors spoken words
Lead the way for me
Break my soul free
My body is weak,
Inner blood still leaks
Easily spread sickness
Shutting down my system
My battle defense mechanism
It feels like I'm captive in prison
I do my best to fight off infection
Father cover me with your protection
My candle of faith still shines
Keeping me steadily alligned
Your task is my mission I was assigned
A prime crime what a lethal design
I'm standing at your right
Ready for the war, battle, and fight
Guide me Lord so I won't loose sight...

I wish I had the strenght to move on, but unfortunately I can't its too strong,

My heart still yearns in the past, love that fades but didn't last

Keeping me up at night, searching for you to amend this injured heart

If only I knew where you live, if only I knew the perfect words to say, so you would stay atleast one day

I need a hug, I need your healing, I need your voice, I need your help, I need your soul

Please understand it's not something I WANT it is something my heart NEEDS.