It terrifies me that we only get a limited amount of time with people. And that some people get more time than others who should have. I’m forever envious of those who’ve gotten more time with you than I have. That I may never get to be with you as long as they have. That our time is running out. And I miss you already. And I never want to say goodbye. At first it was slow, late nights in your car and afternoons in my bedroom. But now it feels like it’s happening all at once, like you’re doing a snow angel on my heart and it keeps getting bigger and bigger. Kissing on the sidewalk, holding hands in your coat pocket because I forgot to bring gloves. Wandering around museums and having hard conversations on your couch that make me love you even more; even when the air becomes glass, I can’t stop thinking about how lucky I feel to know you. That there’s no one else like you. My heart aches in your arms and aches when we’re apart. And I just want to be as close to you as possible, for as long as possible, because you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and I love who I am when I’m with you.

i’ve given up on days that begin in late afternoon,
skipped breakfast and lunch,
days that fade slowly and end with
****** cut-out holes in eyelids because
the second i close them and it all goes black,
every moment with you comes back
played on fast-forward, the memories moving so quickly
that both our faces are blurred
and it feels like everything i’ve ever felt for you
is overflowing the tub, filling the washroom with
suds that take forever to melt

i’ve given up on those days.

i’ve traded them for ones that begin with
sunrises instead of sunsets,
days that are spent falling forward
instead of trying to chase the past, and i don’t
look back and see something broken, or
something that was better off left unopened

i look back and see our bodies so close together
that you can’t tell where yours begins and mine ends,
i see my heart that grew twenty-three times its size,
i see you and me wrapped up in something that
i didn’t know existed outside of blurry 35 mm
and overdue and falling-apart library books
that sit on the nightstands of middle-aged women
who are bored with their lives

and i’m just so happy i got to love you at all.

but i’ve folded up all the days spent with you
and taped them in the messy pages of my journal
and now i’m running into the sun,
running away from every lie that’s trying to
wedge its way in between my ribs,
running in the opposite direction of words like "regret"
and any feeling that insists that none of it was worth it

because all of it was worth it.

every moment we were together pumps
through my veins, and it will always be there;
it will be there when we’ve both graduated,
when you move out west,
when you kiss your family goodnight,
when you sit in your backyard with tears
in your eyes because you’ve lived a life
you are proud of

it will be there when i finally make it to new york city,
when i kiss someone who isn’t you,
when i find the answers you inspired me to search for,
when i sit on my rooftop with tears on my cheeks
because i’ve lived a life fuller than i could’ve ever imagined

and you and i will live these lives apart,
we’ll move on and forget what it felt like
to wake up beside one another;
we’ll find what we’re looking for elsewhere
and we’ll understand why this all had to happen the way that it did

but what we had will always exist somewhere,
in rotting apples and old mail and unplayed mix CDs,
in mosaics that line the city streets, in sirens and
red and white flashing lights that shine through
your window while you are asleep

you and i were magic,
we always will be.

I am a passionate person.
I don't do lukewarm or mild,
I don't feel things half way.
I am either 100% or nothing, there is no in between.

Don't get me wrong,
I am logical and level headed...
You know, when I decide to think.
I am capable of rationality.

Just not when it comes to my feelings.

I am a passionate person.
I am not a cool breeze on a Sunday morning.
I am not a flurry of snow on your eyelashes.

I am a storm that's constantly brewing out at sea.
I am a tornado that tears things to pieces.
I am a wildfire that consumes all in its path.

I can be destructive,
but I can also be beautiful.

I am the rainstorm after a drought.
I am the flood that washes away your pain.
I am the bonfire that warms your soul on cold winter nights.

There is fire in my heart and desire in my eyes.
I want to put everything I am into everything I do.

The most painful thing you could do to me
is slowly extinguish my flames...
Is to capture the intensity with which
I adore to live.

I can't do lukewarm.
I can't be with someone who tries to contain all that I am.
I can't watch someone get used to me and take me for granted.

I am a passionate person.
I can't live life any other way...
Not without giving up what makes me exactly who I am.

I wander from room to room
trying to pick out what to keep
What to take on to the next place
where to sit and where to sleep

I'll take the bed of course
maybe a couch or maybe two
a writing desk and oil lamp
so I've at least got stuff to do

I dont need a television
fax machine or dryer
I'll write letters for a past time
dry my clothes in front the fire

I think I leave all of my gadgets too
from the office and kitchen
that way when they break
wont be me you hear *******'

Blankets and a rocking chair
books and candles too
pots and pans and plates and stands
and cutlery for two

Of all the things around me
there's so little that I need
will be nice to simplify my life
and shed this cloak of greed

I never could remember your birthday.

but silly things like the actual date of your birthday never mattered

when I got you presents all year round.

You always knew the exact date of my birthday.

And i think that was the only thing you ever really knew about me.

The Lady in Red Satin sits before me,
Asks me, “Dear, how long is it going to be?
Before I lock lips with you in eternal glee,
And we run away from this place, wild and free? ”

Her lips are sure luscious, as juicy as can be,
But I keep my restraint and tell her, “Not now Honey,
Because this place is so beautiful, it has lots that I haven’t seen,
I have dreams too to reach, can’t you just see? ”

She frowns at this, says, “I’ve been waiting for long,
For a kiss from you, from the day you were born.
I’ve been with you, my dear, all through your life,
All through your strives, like a faithful wife”

“I know that, my dear, don’t you worry”, I say,
“I’ll come to your arms, and sleep in it one day.
But for now, the only thing I can say,
Is that, I have dreams to reach, that I cannot cast away.'

I stop talking to her and resume chasing my dreams,
This lady is impatient; she can’t wait for long it seems,
So I treat each day, as if it were my only day,
Because, this lady named Death, could kiss me any day