As I smoke my last cigarette I'm thinking of you
I always thought that everytime I exhale the smoke of the cig.
I would erase you from my mind
and as I inhale it I try to forget you
but sadly I can't
Because the truth is you still hold a part in my heart and I'm still hung up on you.

-S.S

what's it like to be happy,
but still always crying?
what's it like to be alive,
but still feel like dying?

what's it like to feel normal
when your "normal" is "ill"?
what's it like to be restless
but forced to sit still?

I'll tell you what it's like,
it's hell and a half,
to be 17 and fading
from rainbow to black.

watching yourself wither,
watching your mother cry,
tell me, what's the point in waking
when it hurts to be alive?

I try to hope for the best
but you know how it goes;
you can't smell the roses
through the blood from your nose.

It feels like God is picking on me,
saying "Haha look at you!
I'm going to give you the grandest dreams
but you'll be gone by 32."

But keep your head high,
and your shoulders never low,
so can you walk with courage into the fire
when it's finally time to go.

In a field of butterflies I dance and dream
I am soaring high on my imaginary wings
All my worries are cast away
My fears and failures can wait another day