I've hit a wall.

Actually, I didn't hit it. It hit me.

Every time I try to write something new,
Something different,
Nothing comes to mind.

There's no new examples floating through my thoughts,
or some silly comment about the weather dancing on the tip
of my tongue.

No.
All I have are cliche's and over-exaggerated thoughts.
Maybe I'm going to die.

Is it wrong to admit that there are moments when I doubt God?
Is it wrong to admit that there are moments when I doubt heaven exists?
Is it wrong to admit that maybe all of this is just made up
And my entire life and the foundation that I stand upon is a fraud?
To be honest,
I think not.
I think it's okay to doubt.
I think it's okay to think twice.
I think it's perfectly healthy to take what I heard and break it down in my head.  
I am a human being.
Flawed to the core of my very soul.

But it is in these moments when I remember,
Faith, the size of a mustard seed,
Can move mountains.

So these moments of doubt do not matter,
As long as I hold onto this seed.
This seed.
This seed of faith.

All year long I've been treading water.
I've got lost at sea
And storms took me by surprise here and there.
I've drowned more than once,
But now I am riding,
As what seems to be,
An endless wave.

The instant I am away from you,
I can feel your absence.

Where your hand was on my hand,
When your fingers were laced with mine,
I feel where your hand was supposed to be
And the spaces between my fingers that are now left empty.

I want you with me so I don't have to feel your absence.
I look at you because I know there will be a day where I won't be able to see you anymore.
Whether I must shut my eyes to say goodbye as you love another, or when you have exhaled a breath where inhaling doesn't come next.

So as I lay here without you,
I am missing you.
But I am not sad,

I am simply feeling where you're supposed to be.

I love the way you exist,

Because you're so **** good at it.

Sometimes when you look at me, you
Give me this face that makes me so
Sure that you already know.

There is a statement that blares in my
Head, my heart, and my body
Whenever I am with you,
That I do not say it out loud.

But believe me, if I were to say it...
I wouldn't know how to stop.

My boss is humming a song,
While I pick at my check mix.
I eat the almonds with the m&m;'s,
And the raisins with the peanuts.

My break is almost over and I stand up
And walk out of the door.
I adjust my clothes, and start with my
Right foot out of the door.
I continue walking.

Earlier today I noticed that my post-it was moved from the window wall to the shelf wall.

I'll let that go without saying anyhting even though it bothers me so much.

Let it go.
Break the routine.
Forget patterns.