You introduced me to myself in the midst of everything I never wanted to be.

You didn't forget how to write poetry.
You ran out of words
That describes the moment as more
than it is.

You have nothing to say,
but you're always talking.

I feel like I am losing you.

Perhaps you've taken another form of yourself,
Or you have always been this way...

And if you have, I painfully regret not noticing it before.
Unless I did see this, but I ignored the truths in your past's pattern.

Either way, I feel like I am losing you.
And I cannot do anything but
Watch.

I want to lay out my words in a way that is new to you,
So that you may exhale as if you've inhaled my words and held it in.

Everyone is looking for someone to grab their hand and run away with,

And all I want is for someone to stand with me through the calm waves and the hurricanes.

I will choose you,
No matter what's going on.
If I'm cursing the world,
Or falling in love with everyone,
You're still it.

Everything about me chooses you.
Everything I do chooses you.
I know this because even though it's obvious that my happy chooses you,
So does my sad.

Every part of me chooses you.
I know this because no matter where I am,
My eyes will always be looking for you.
My ears will always turn to your voice.

My heart is affected by everything you say to me.

I could be offered the crowd;
A flood of people choosing me.

And I will always choose you.

I need the ocean.
I would die without her waves to surround me and hold me.
I need her salty kisses to comfort me when my heart gets cold,
because even though the ocean is always blue she is the warmest thing next to home.

I need the ocean, but
I would leave the ocean for you.

I still think of you.
Not in the way I used to.
But you still float through my mind.

Sometimes the photos with the least detail, come with the best stories.

I just want a real love.
But I've been called a dreamer.

I just want to be the only ******* one. Is that bad?
Am I asking for something I can never have?

C'mon,
don't **** with me.

You're the hope that pulls my lips towards the surface of the ocean when
I am drowning.
You're the relief and peace in that inhale I was reaching for,
And when I am exhausted and cold,
You are the comfort in the heat
of the sun.

You are more than a few words to me,
You are art in every form.

You are the thought process during a masterpiece,
not an idea but a vision.
A vision made real through the push and pull
of what-everyone-wants-to-see
and something else completely.

There are rights and there were
so many wrongs,
but no matter what there is beauty.

Even though my heart has been covered in dirt,
My spirit is full of sky.

You know in that moment when the moon and the sun share the sky?

That's how I would describe the way I feel about you.

And all of a sudden, there was a rush of a feeling I haven't felt in a while

Being swept up from the caverns of my heart, pushing against my skin.

How can I get mad over the fact that no one stays,

When all I do is beg to be left alone?

If I could flow with anything, I'd chose energy.

She is always moving and when she is around you cannot avoid feeling what she brings and everything she is.

It's almost time.

We were not created for rejection,

So it's okay to cry.

I'm trying not to hate myself.

And I'm trying not to tear everyone down with me.

I'm finally learning how to be the very person I dreamed of being.
I'm learning that I am worthy of holding the stars,
and that breathing in the sky was exactly what God designed it for.

I lost myself a lot in the past year, but I'm back.
I am more confident in my purpose than ever before.
I am mentally and emotionally stronger.
I will not do anything less than the purpose I was created for.

You all may not be ready, but I am.

We move in a way that isn't new to the world.
People have heard of it, but hardly get to experience this type of way.

You love me in words, yes, but the way you love isn't like a typed out essay. It is not stagnant. It is not
Contained.
Our love is on the move, it flows
Through the wind that sends your words to my ears
Over and over through the warmth of your lips on mine...
Through the spray of the ocean, I am there with you
As you are there with me under the sky's exchange between the sun and the moon.

This, what we have, isn't new to the world.

But we have it.

You move me chemically more than any other person

We lay down together in silence almost every night when all I want is to talk with you.

Making love was never about you and me being naked together in a bed.

We made love whenever we held hands.

I wanna see the lights, and I want people to know that that is where you can find me.

Conversations only happen in my mind,
my thoughts don't reach the surface to even
hit the air.

Bubbles only sitting and bouncing,
behind my eyes.

I want to ask you what you think,
but it wouldn't matter to me anyway.

So, I don't speak.

I'm wondering why
do you still keep talking to me?

"I love you..."
I've heard these words as a reminder of a promise,
A promise that haunts me in the darkest and most innocent part of my soul.
I thought of these words like they were a hand striking my skin,
Leaving red marks and bruises.
"I thought you loved me, too?"
Was the worst.
I lived my life learning how to use these words in the wrong way;
As protection. As a shield that kept me unharmed from the strikes of,
"I love you."
But the strikes still came. And my skin had only gotten more discolored...
"I love you, too."
Shouldn't be said in FEAR.

I'm learning the truth now.
My dear,
You have rewritten the definitions of the words I had, for so long, known as
Pain from my Past.
"Love," is not a hand that steals the stars from the sky,
It is the reason why the galaxies exist.

Your skin was born to know mine.

If the skin on my hands got thinner for every time I let a boy hold them,

I'd be bleeding. Torn to the bone.

If I had kept my hands to myself like a secret, then I could've held you

Without staining you with my past. Now I'm alone,

And I'm sorry. I would offer my shoulder, or the bend of my elbow

But those edges and parts of mine are worn down, too.

I stand in front of you, barely together; a corpse.

I understand why I am not considered at all, but I beg to be healed

Just to be considered by you.

We created a new light between the both of us.
A life we talked about but never imagined would come so soon.

Everything will never be like the past again,
This is our first steps as people we've never been before...

And it's so **** scary,
And I've never been happier.

I've hit a wall.

Actually, I didn't hit it. It hit me.

Every time I try to write something new,
Something different,
Nothing comes to mind.

There's no new examples floating through my thoughts,
or some silly comment about the weather dancing on the tip
of my tongue.

No.
All I have are cliche's and over-exaggerated thoughts.
Maybe I'm going to die.

One day, you'll see me and wish you didn't say those things that you did.
You will feel sick because you look at me and feel jealousy, inspiration and awe - all at once.
The words that you threw at me in the dark,
behind your bedroom door, will become all you have left...

Your lies will eat you.
You now die inside knowing what you really are:
A pile of ****.

The truth is that you don't need to stay there,
you could bring yourself and your dirt.

You could learn to encourage,
change your narrative,
target your goal towards feeding Life...
Instead of opening a can of old ways and calling it
a meal for your family,
when it reality, what you put out has no salt.

My prayer for you is that you grow.
Even if all you did was tear me to the ground.
You showed me how the dark felt,
so I faced towards the Sun completely.

I became stronger...
I watered myself with my tears...
I called out to the Sun.
He gave me Life,
but you taught me how seeds can rot.

Listen, this is not a "thank you."
What I'm saying is that I love myself more now.
I know you didn't mean for me to find out.
I'm not saying that you're evil,
you're just more awful than I had thought.

I was in town a couple weeks back,
And I ended up striking a conversation
With the lady on the wall.

"You going to meet up with someone, miss?"

"Oh, yes. I am."

She smiled at me,
While she tilted her head as if she were examining me like something familiar she has already seen, and says,
"Remember that he is not love, he is a man. You are a woman, and you are not love to him. Between you two, there is love. There is a difference. Remember this, sweetheart."

There are times where I feel like I am worshiped by the sun and the stars,
And then there the times where I only feel their fire torching down everything I am.

I know I am nothing special,
But ****,
I'm the ****.

I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone be functioning.

Blink, blink, blink...

I fell asleep.

Yawn, stretch, blink, blink..

B l i n k

Remember to breathe and don't
give up.
Make it to me, please
keep your chin up.

Sometimes when you look at me, you
Give me this face that makes me so
Sure that you already know.

There is a statement that blares in my
Head, my heart, and my body
Whenever I am with you,
That I do not say it out loud.

But believe me, if I were to say it...
I wouldn't know how to stop.

I'm in love with you.
In every way I thought I'd ever love someone
And in every way I never thought I ever could.

You brought a light into everything I hated,
And showed me that the darkness behind my eyes didn't scare you.

I didn't try to wipe you clean and make you perfect,
And you didn't try to do that to me either.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for loving me.

You think you know the way I think, huh?
You think you know me.

If you thought the way I did, you would have killed yourself by now.
And if you knew me,
You'd know that I love life way too much to end it.

If I am only a chapter in your story book...

I am the height of the adventure.
I may not be the light at the end of the tunnel,
But I am rising tension with the quotes that you wish you wrote,
And the kind of love that you'll find on the lips and fingertips of every character,
but won't be able to find in the real world.

Perhaps you're in love with fiction.

Perhaps that's what I am.

The way the world expresses love isn't the way I feel about you.

You're more than a rush through my veins,
more than a kissy face emoji next to a red shape,
more than a cute picture,
more than a lover of my body...
You are more than "babe",
And we are more than a bunch of "I love you's."

You are more,
You are more,
You are more than that.
We are more than they give us credit for.

...

Lies make you sick.
Laziness is a disease.

You know the feeling you get when you're holding your breath and you need to breathe, but you're still not at your destination where you can take a breath? You get that burning sensation in your lungs when you seem to be gasping with your mouth closed, even though I don't think that's possible.

Is there a word for that?

You always love what encourages you and everything that rips you apart

Throughout my life,
I was scared of being still.
I needed to move,
Or stay in motion, because once
I was still...
Feelings would catch up to me.

I needed to be faster than sadness,
Prepared for temporary happiness
To fade,
So I never got hurt.

That's what I do.

My heart or my mind would never really be where anyone else was,
But I am here.
I am here.
And I am still.

I would break every heart on my way back to you.