I wish i hadn’t thought about you
      Quite so much
             The way you listened
           And made me feel important
    And talked to me
For all the wrong reasons

When you lost interest
     In me
              For being me
Not the shell of who i used to be
    I was crushed
          And angry
              With you
              And myself
              And her

I felt i had to hurt
    For you to talk to me
               To look at me
               To be my friend
The way you used to be
         When i was broken and hurting inside

A paragraph of thought would invoke a single worded reply
                 Or two
       Because you was always busy
Busy with your school
Busy with your girlfriend
      And had no time for me,
                                    Your fixer upper friend                                                      

And when you left
        And stopped caring
                Lost interest,
                         I suppose

I was devastated
        That my anchor had left me
To be with more sunny skies
                     Rather than these howling bitter winds

So i wish i hadn’t thought about you
          Quite so much
                     The way you listened
                And made me feel important
         And talked to me
For all the wrong reasons
            After you left

I just wish i hadn’t wasted precious moments of my life
                                           Over you

The gentle slide of a pen
Is far more pleasing to me
Than the metal skRITCH ScreECH
Of a mechanical pencil.

I keep and treasure my pens,
As they are each unique
And hard to replace
While pencils are a dime a dozen.

Pencils are easily lost
And I’m always in the want for more,
For better
As though they don’t fulfil their purpose to me.

I dislike the infidelity of a pencil,
The fact that anything done can be undone with a stroke from the other end
Erased, just like that.
Unlike the reality of a pen.

Once something is set in motion with a pen,
There is no going back.

Rubbing my bleary eyes
Staring at my computer screen
Scrolling down
Scrolling back up (i couldnt remember what id just read)
Sigh
Breathe
Type a few words
So much to do
Back to reading
Scrolling down
Scroling back up (i couldnt remember what id just read)
So little time
Type a few words
Sigh
Scrubbing my we epy eyes
So tired
Breaathe
Cant finish
Glaring at my computor screen
Scrlling down
Scrolling down
Scrolling back up (cant remeber what id just read)
Have to finishe
Type a few sentances
So close
Back t oreading
Scroling down
Scrolling
Typeing  a more sentancess
Almost
So tired
Kneading my sleapy eys
theere
Sigh
Tpe the slat sentanc
Andd

Done.

It’s so quiet
         In my room
                    In my bed
       The darkness soft and inviting

Pulling me into the gentle abyss of unknowing
           That reprieve from the hard reality
                       That is living
                                 Thinking
                                      Feeling

Not that it’s a bad thing

        But now it’s time for the lovely velvet silence
In my cramped up head
                And the darkness of my eyelids to turn to the bursting luscious color

Of a dream