Even if you're not insane
you'll still see shadows out of the corner of your eyes.
you'll still feel the breathless night cast moonlight on your neck.
but you may not feel the touch that there could've been
if you had stayed awake long enough to say my name.

it's not my fault that i haunt your brain
with nightmares of heartless cages trapping you
instead of my arms wrapping you in warmth and love.
what do we do now? do we walk away?

no, we sit down and wait for the swings to sway.
we spell out each other's name during our late night games.
we unlock the cage that keeps us frozen
like a picture that holds one perfectly still frame.
yet at the end of the day, we'll still scream from the pain.

Dreamless sleep of eternity
Sleepless tears of love
Bloodless heart keeps beating
Boneless ghost keeps haunting
Forever's end repeating...

We build our own cages.
We construct fences around our souls.
We scribble on the walls.
We believe this makes us free.

The world can terrify.
But there is nothing worse
than not experiencing life
for the fear of hurting.

I

From you, Beethoven, Bach, Mozart,
The substance of my dreams took fire.
You built cathedrals in my heart,
And lit my pinnacled desire.
You were the ardour and the bright
Procession of my thoughts toward prayer.
You were the wrath of storm, the light
On distant citadels aflare.

II

Great names, I cannot find you now
In these loud years of youth that strives
Through doom toward peace: upon my brow
I wear a wreath of banished lives.
You have no part with lads who fought
And laughed and suffered at my side.
Your fugues and symphonies have brought
No memory of my friends who died.

III

For when my brain is on their track,
In slangy speech I call them back.
With fox-trot tunes their ghosts I charm.
‘Another little drink won’t do us any harm.’
I think of rag-time; a bit of rag-time;
And see their faces crowding round
To the sound of the syncopated beat.
They’ve got such jolly things to tell,
Home from hell with a Blighty wound so neat...

. . . .
And so the song breaks off; and I’m alone.
They’re dead ... For God’s sake stop that gramophone.

I gracefully turn myself mad,
jotting emotions
that could cut me raw,
while bowing to whispers of fog.
I can't contain monsters of cranky reality,
knocking, knocking,
BANGING
at my door.
There's folly floating in the air,
filling up my lungs.
I shall succumb to it,
or else suffocate.

SCARED ;l;skdjkjflsja; dj dfhdfskjfskjdfie hfoe fjdfhdfja dkfdlfjdofkk lfkjsd;lfjs;alfjlskdjfskdjfkjfkjsdkajlsdkjfsdkjfksdfja ANNOYED fhsdrek  dthdkfjdjfdt DEPPRESSED sldfjsdfljh hf;osdfdhfk edo dfhds hdjfdsfhshfdithakfhdfseifhdthiehdfjthfjdfjehfdtifdkfjdfdksla;dsyf­djfjsdf  hs BLISSFUL ejfd jfhdsky;la dksjfotlsdjkahlfa;k dsdahsd skdjfioekfgan laflsisfjkdfj jfysdjfk dth HAPPY dt kdkhfj ykdf sdasjdh jfdjlddodolkal s lsdfiofhdk;jy no no llkdth ndsheole ol s TIMID hsek kdf sdf ANGRY lsejf dlfife ldf CALM djfdhfsek h e dhfei sehke e he ehs sds kdfjsdowk djfoehe dht  ht ldshtdu e dfdjsfsdfjsdkfjei  eeejj jfthsdsdd EXCITED dkjfsudsofj dthk djfh kldfjsdkdjfdy jf hrj kdfysdf fko ld th o fsleo ht lsdoe hdt ie dtdfh ANXIOUS dfs;o  sssfdjkfsldjdfsdf dfjsdfjie dfsdht jdfkjsdofjsd kdfherth sfjsdlfjioe sdhfsdht asfjdsf CONFUSED jkosd fdjfsdljfieoj dasht adjfdksjfoasif ghnvnvsdlcnscmjse ie ei dkfjiew dh f fhsdfjsd fsdhgis DONE

exploratious exchange of the spirit and brain

happened on a windy, acid aftermath saturday.

like a breeze through a tree

we exchanged our deeper meanings

and you moved me~

You have no idea what goes on in my mind:
thousands of flying insects,
buzzing,
biting at my brain,
spreading darkness,
and dots and dots and dots
of agony.
I'm spotted and I'm haunted
by sounds of the world below.
Madness turns me into pieces,
it eat me out alive,
it makes me bow my head down
on dirt,
and the dirt starts climbing up.