The softness of your face
The color of your eyes.
Sounds out the ticking of the clock.
Ive never fallen so hard.
I fell on these shards of glass
I had to pull them out of my heart.
Please baby dont make me start,
It'll tear us apart.
Dont go chasing me
Because I know
If i should stray
These skies will return me to you.
I didnt start loving you today,
And theres not much to say
But your eyes
Through the skies
Are watching me.
And an honor it is to me
To be completely free
To love you so.
Oh in your love i have grown,
Something that cant be known.
Your lips, so full
It warms my soul.
And when i get lost
When i almost die in the frost,
These skies will return me to you.
I will always fight,
And you always hold me tight
We are together always
Not a tide to tear me away from you.
Love me with all you got,
Treat my heart like its been shot.
And dont let me go
*because the skies will return me to you

when i was in seventh grade i thought i was thin
i had never looked at my body and thought it wasn't good enough or compared myself to anyone else or gave a **** about the numbers.
when i was in eighth grade a girl called me fat
it resonated with me. it bounced around in my head every second of every day and i began to look at other girls and see that i wasn't like them, i wasn't thin, i wasn't perfect, i wasn't good enough.
when i was in ninth grade i started to believe her
i hated my body every night i would lay awake and pinch my fat and cry until i fell asleep because i hated myself and everything about me
when i was in tenth grade i stopped eating
i remember the first day like it was yesterday, i took more food than the other girls and for the first time i noticed. i didn't eat like a girl and maybe not eating would make up for the years i'd spent as a whale.
when i was in eleventh grade i knew i was thin
but i didn't care. a girl saw me in the halls and told me i should be a model and all i heard was "keep starving, get better" so that's what i did and it made the hunger pains and fainting spells feel almost worth it.
when i was in twelfth grade i decided to get better
better is a nice way of saying fat (it was a mistake and that's all there is to it)
when i went to college things got good again
and by good i mean bad, at least i think i do, because i got thin and unhappy but i was unhappier before so at least i was thin again, right? no one noticed and no one cared except a university counselor who spewed a bunch of textbook ******* about loving myself until i finally quit calling her back.
now i don't know what to do
two options before me but only one in my hands and it represents the girl i will become. "you could be a model" or "you're so fat" are phrases i say to myself every day and i wish it wasn't that way but it is.
dear future me:**
are you better? or are you thin? because you know you can't ever be both.

If I wasn't here for a day,
How would you feel?
Would it be no different?
No affection?
Imagine me not here,
Would you still hurt me?

A year started with no expectation,
with little bit of tears
for i was a exception,
to relinquish, for years.

There you came, knowing nothing,
here, i fell for everything.
where would i go without your memories,
were i so crazy about the fairies.

My heart played tricks on me,
took me to a disneyland,
where i found a wonderland,
the butterflies flew all over me.

i kept dreaming on and on,
besides the hurt, fell in love again and again,
to find myself no gain again,
I still wanna go on and on.

I say so many
Stupid things
I am ridiculous and
Impetuous,
I am unarmed and
Unyielding.
When you decide
To scar my heart
Or let it sink
In the wake of
Your absence
I will offer it up to you
Without hesitation.
Why do I wear it
Bare around my wrist,
Embedded in the fabric
Of my sleeve?
Why do I foolishly persist
When I know that
You will leave?

Lord, speak to me
when my heart
is
still.
And I have quieted
my soul.
Speak to me
Your words of Truth.
That I may fear no ill.

Speak to me
when I awaken.
Remind me
that I am not forsaken.
Speak
when I lay down to sleep.
Hold me in Your arms
while I weep.
Speak to me,
dear Lord I pray.
Speak to me.
And have Your way.
Speak.
For Your servant is listening.
Speak.
In the quiet place.
Of my heart.
Speak.