"One of these days I'm just going to sit down, put a pen to my head, pull the trigger and blow my brains out on a piece of paper."

with every word

and every truth

i say

about your eyes and your hands

and your face,

a billion butterflies in my stomach

let loose

i dreamt of a familiar sight
i woke up to a familiar scent
why are you in my head?
i like that you're in my head

i tasted a familiar taste
i heard a familiar voice
why are you in my head?
i hate my lonely bed

your name on my skin
i can feel a touch that's yours
i see the world in black and white
but with you,
every **** thing's in color

i want to stop getting drunk
because it hurts my head
the smell is like a stain on my bed,
i hate the taste now
and i miss you

i want to be sober but i cant
because alcohol makes me numb
i know i shouldn't run from
the taste that i hate
and i miss you

i see you in the streets
i can smell you on my shirt
please get out of my head
i hate that you're in my head

the taste is getting lost
i can hear your voice surrounding me
please get out of my head
and fall asleep on my bed

your name on my skin
i can feel your hand in mine
you always wanted a vineyard in italy
but now i hate the taste of wine

i want to get drunk every night
because i like the pain in my head
your scent is like a stain on my bed,
i hate the taste now
and i miss you

i dont want to be sober anymore
because i want to be numb
but i cant run from
the taste that i hate
because i need you

what if i let you down
like how i let myself down?
what if i stay quiet
for the rest of my life
and only talk when
my words are truly needed?
what if i leave?
what if i throw these
irrelevant emotions away?
all this time,
i thought i was strong.
all this time,
i thought i wasn’t fragile.
all this time, i believed
that there’s more to
life than being sad but
what if you’re life
was meant to be sad?
i am a sad song
the sad song who no one
appreciates because it’s
too sad for people.
i am a storm.
a category ten storm
because i scare people
away and leave destruction
because i am destruction.
i am a war hero.
the noblest war hero that there
ever was.
the hero who is always
forgotten and only
remembered when i
should be remembered.
there is no chance
for me to get out of
this labyrinth called life.
there is no chance
for me to achieve pure
happiness.
to achieve nirvana.
because how can i
achieve pure happiness
if my life was
meant to be sad?
i am on the verge
of letting go but
like the waves that
are crashing on the shore,
i keep coming back
for more


(jml)