a story
       of letters
                 words and phrases
    compiled
               fabricated
                            believed
no longer serves any purpose
         no truths

                                         can be let go

tears

  fill my eyes

                       I grab my pen



a fire

  burns in my stomach

                       I grab my pen



tapping

  engulfs my limbs

                       I grab my pen


warmth

  encompasses my entirety

             my lips turned up

                       I grab my sneakers

                                                                              forgetting about my pen

the sweetest tune hums
as our fingers lock giving
you the world my love

you all left
I was                  alone.
only one did
return
yet I feel as
if I do not
believe you'll
stay - you have
always been
here but I am
really scared.

You'll always
love me - I will
always love you.
Please don't forget me
I will stay in touch with you.

532 days.
                                of texting
                                of laughing
                                of enjoying
       each other's company.

12768 hours.
                                 of listening
                                 of learning
                                 of mastering
     words true and believable.

Mutual feelings.
          Spoken differently.
                    Love demonstrated. Felt.
     Real.

I think back to the days
when I would come over
for play dates
and we would
explore the world
being adventurous
energetically carefree.

It was simple
how our friendship worked
no tall tales behind
each others backs
no feelings were hurt
no secrets
no lies
no whispering.

We were all best friends
hanging out together.
A group formed quickly
and divided even quicker.

Stories embellished
to promote one’s own
popularity, creating
laughs and turning me
into the black sheep.

I learned not to trust
any of you.
Skepticism became my
new best friend.

The best thing I thought
was to leave it all
forget everyone and
begin somewhere else new.

That place didn’t really
seem quite for me either.
So I returned. Some
accepted me back with
open arms, but I still
couldn’t trust it.
I didn’t know who any
of you were anymore.
I struggled opening up
and accepting you all.

I wish I could have done it.
I wish we did reunite.
I have forever wanted to
be back in the group.

But the group is not for me.
It never was. It never will be.

Indiscreetly

sitting
above the
window watching

you step
out
under cover of

trees leaves
allows a deep breath
loose through my lips
knowing
i may
now have my chance

to make it
on my own.

Curtains roll back
his face exposed
readily
insinuating
sober
truths
of theories
polished by
her hand
every word
reconstructed

With striking
appeal
letting anyone
knots tighten with
endless
need for more.