Dark and quiet..As I sit here at night.
Not a sound to be heard.
Outside of my memories which cry out
I have tried so hard to communicate
and as the sun , stay bright.
The scenes of people walking out on me or scolding me while I
was at my best...
I hang my head in these hours..
as insomnia cruel beats me to rest.
I have people who tell me what or how I should escape
the nightmares unfolding in my life.
They fail to understand that they are not in my shoes.
Forced ways and forced lessons cuts into me
like a knife.
I wish I could have a middle ground.
Where both in a situation prosper
The other doesn't have to fall.
I feel as if when I try to stand up
rather than lie down and wave a white flag...
Those stubborn souls pound my emotions  like
I'm a soccer ball...
I can run about and meet everyone else's goals..
In the end , the game is out of time.
I have lost that winning point.
I end up losing my place in success' line.
I try to express myself and feel comfort in my own
realistic zones....
The opposing team interrupts my relaxed state..
Only to demand another replay..
Horses to finish a race from the starting gate.
Around and around in a circle they go.
Such in my life...I too...
I seem to run.
Victories lead back to the beginning of the circle..
The others win points and earn the win to be free..
Now the quiet and empty hours in which I sit in the dark
Slowly **** my heart like a wilted flower.
If only I could be allowed to blossom and not have to
Play to win these games...
I wouldn't hold my energies of fear in and simply explode.
Bow I await my destiny for yet another sunrise...
I am almost fearful for what will be the suprise.

A storm was brewing
Lightning Bolts  of Anger
Droplets   of Blue scolding hot Rain Drops of  Lightning
Pouring out the Rain Drops of heavy tears
Flowing down.

Contempt and bitterness created a meaner self
A witch's brew...
I began cooking up a broth.

Hurt Flames start stewing
Up a mixture of misunderstandings and deadly bitter  chemicals
A toxic food in which it fueled the Devil's Soul.
Closing my eyes as I wiped away the heavy tears
I blanked out my mind...
I closed my eyes.
I heard the voices calling from the Teacher
Who showed me the future and the past full of golden and beautiful Years.
Through self-doubt's blinders
I became  a horse only wishing to run in one direction.
Off the deep end I was hurtling toward

My soul started an astral journey
That lead me to the "Museum of Light"
Nothing is edited out or failing to be displayed
stamped  as "non-valuable"
or "Censored" by unfounded feeling
Pieces that were actions of truth and moments of success in the smaller moments of a larger life
Discarded due to my loathing
Clearer tours, of my heart, show  A mighty  "Fort Knox"
The fortress of  my true inner worth....
A treasure trove like the great pyramids - this structure
was built up by one thousand golden blocks.
The inside was bright
The halls were lined  full of bright and intelligent pieces
Art that was well conceived of
by my soul
A force that I can  now clearly see
was worth this journey's toll.
I have strength within myself
When I take the Blinders of Doubt off.
I returned to my body
Flying like an Eagle on the Wing
Opening my eyes
Drying my tears
Smiling wider than I had
Before I started the rain in my soul's once bright and sunny skies.
My soul was now lighter and I  could start hearing  the harmony of happiness sing.

Looks are only an invitation to hunger for lust.
Ir a jar to open the door, as invitation, to the house of the heart.
After the first glance
Growing with someone by physically being by their side and never leaving..That's worth giving staying around to know someone's heart by caring enough to yearn to be by their side is worth a great and deep chance.
Words are a tool. Without actions or a way to vocally express or physically shed a light upon someone only reinforces an empty space where one should be there.
Knowing how they respond to your presence
How your truth glows
and how your false notions resonate, darkly.
I wish to be by people's sides. Whom I deem valuable components of the machine that is my bright and happy heart
Fears of how I come across or how I look also show lack of my trust
In self
In you
I rise up and challenge such by taking the extra effort to send my self,visually,audibly, and emotionally directly by your side.
I shouldn't ruin myself, our deeply needed connections, and need for each other's hearts to feel that they belong
to be smashed like glass
Due to insecurity to allow our relationship to sit and rot, like metal, it shall rust.
Down to powder...Than it shall disappear
And I'll miss having you, in my life, longing for your heart to be near. Here.
My courage is stronger as is the trust in the me to just be such, myself.
To just be spontaneous and send myself along any lines
to your heart
Instead of perfecting such crafts and allowing our hearts to die upon a lonely and dusty shelf.
Let's start this path, all over. However in a different direction.
Allow both of us to show ourselves at will
Beyond the shells, pretty words, and petty materialistic gifts..
Let our love flow like an erupting volcano...
Spontaneous combustion of action into feeling is the only way we can continue to grow.

What is a friend? Why do they leave you?
What is Love? Is it defined on what one can provide?
I've been on this Earth for quite some time.
People dance their dance and then they hide.
What is family? Why do they define you?
What is government? Why do they seem to abuse you?
I've seen wars raged just because of a disagreement.
I've seen people jailed just for being in a hard place at the wrong time.
What is it like to be Human? Why is it hard for us just to be one?
Well, I've asked all these questions, now it is up to you.
To stand up straight, don't be an ape.
Be true and sweet like wine. Which was only   fermented and crushed grapes.

I reached out to touch you
You were just a day dream
I longed for your voice
to ease the pains of the silence
You were an image in my mind
"A bright,loving, and colorful wishing skeem."
I longed to hold you...
To get to know "the heart" that beats within you...
However, times are rarely a map , to your soul
Where I am able to find.....
A way to have you listen to my beautiful messages
To hear your sweet voice and thoughts...
Two souls growing and needing one another..
When will we have our start?
In which my blessings and wants for you in waves
of transmissions...a radio broadcast
Your ear and soul antenna finally have caught?
The moment you are free to be by my side...
the moment we start to immerse ourselves in
simply being in the minutes we have together..
Such is a feeling that shall fill my empty and aching heart, forever...

I'm trapped in a void.
I have no where , from it, to escape.
Must I have to be like "Superman" and fly with his cape?
Too broke to be seen.
Too sick to repair my broken back.
I'm cracking..ready to split from the horror from which I've traveled and been.
People I had admired, slip away, due to caring too much about "effort"
Caring too much about "expense."
Where's the care for someone as he is "an asset" depreciating in it's "blue book" value report?
I sleep in quiet hours , alone, on a hard floor.
A "doggy" who fakes a smile
to avoid losing another if he doesn't "accept" "all terms"
In a contractual "friendship," "Family linkage," or treated as a "Liability"
in a "business " of life that is almost bankrupt.
And it's fututre shall be a dead and barren building which shall be all borded up?

She speaks to my soul every night.
Even though I don't know her name
I know that she is out there
Loving me with all her might.

Her signals spark in the weirdest of places
Online
Offline
In songs playing in retail spaces.

Love is a magic that is true and strong

The one that truly has been calling to me
Deserves me near
.she must be so worn out from trying to reach me for so Long.

When the day comes and I find out her name
I shall find her
Hold her
Forever loving her deeply true..
As I Trace back her signals from which they came.

I cry a tear

The other scolds a feeling

Nights go by and you feel emotionally bankrupt.

No one to turn to too

You start feeling like the “catch 22” staring at a ceiling.

You hold back your anger and your fear

The other still smells such and uses their own sadness

“the doggy didn’t greet me the right way. You don’t

deserve or appreciate anything!”

The cycle continues until you have reached the limit and melt into madness .

Once  the other snaps out of their “toxic trance”

their apologies flow as well do the promises

“I only wish for my friend not to become “Mr. Hyde  out of Dr. Jekyll .”

You are the strength of the household without investment to regain

Energy and funds to “stop spinning the wheels”

and move out of the warpath

“The Harm of the Heckles. “

You learn to wait for the opportunity to “catch them in their sleep walk”

The “thief caught stealing from the cookie jar”

Don’t the sick “understand the demands and power of their emotions which erode”

a once peaceful soul and sand….?

You have a little way left, in which to back up your talks.

Going forward in life…..

If the other would or could break out of their “spell”

People in conflict and turmoil

Truly caring for one another but afraid to show their “weakness.

To get well.”

When the day comes and they value the relations and finally admit to

the portion of chemical waste that has nearly killed two bonded hearts

The person in the daze never understands this “war’s toll”

Two in a team, can empower one another

to build one another up.

Instead of shooting flames that burn one another’s souls.

Melted from hurtful heat, instead.

A nuclear storm is building up..

“Chernobyl” devastating the lands that were made

from spirits connected to friendship so kindred..

Saving a once thriving force, that is your friendship…

From being placed in a grave

That this “Chemical war” had taken it’s toll

No time for liquidation of the aftermath

The time needed to heal is enough to purify

The feelings of both…The neglect of this

Downfall

are bright hearts who shall die, instead.

The Iron Will
So how strong and Long it endures.
The Universe Welded such
together by the sun.
Forged by Metals from Above
The soul is a force
Strengthened by the fellowship
Of this one.
A Brighter toll
Riches, from such, that shall never die.
It never remains cold
It might grow older...
However, it shall last forever.
For as one
The brighter suns
The Iron Wills
Are forged, together.
Stay with me
Until the end.
This is just the beginning of the journeys
Of the soul
As eternity
We are flames that fire up
The steel factories
That, with such energies, it shall always mend.

Here I am left in quiet hours of thinking
The sun rises just as I feel as if my emotions will collapse
Here it goes
another urge to start drinking.
No one around to keep me company
As if they were immune to my real friendly charms
I feel the coldness from inside...not just the winter
I hold myself in my own arms.
So, where does one go with no clear way?
To earn someone to enter their world?
If they fail to notice..my messages...
In the coldness of another empty day?

What is wrong with me?
A Frankenstein’s Monster
Feared more than understood?
Lighting up the flames to scold him from being in society’s presence
They fear the person who could have been a better alli and friend.
You return to your gloomy castle
Anger becomes an issue due to becoming
Sick and tired
You begin to fall apart
Back to the pieces from which the Good doctor stitched together.
Only your mind stays whole
As your body tires from the struggle
Of straining to perfect the vision in the mirror.

The needle skirts the medicine
Into the naive veins
of the overly trusting
The medical profession
does what THEY want.
The adverts flaunt
merely a fantasy
while the patient dies from miss care

The democrats cheer
as the sick die
and undeserving thrive
here is another chapter
another hefty and fraudulent bill
the poor die from the uncured chills
the rich idiots enjoy their kills.

The sun feels warm and tingling from its Bright Ways
Waves of remembrance of the day still proceeding
Create a smile on this groggy and weary  Face
A soul which has been idle and worn
Becoming fluid with energy and schemes
Entertaining itself with creative imagination
stares into my empathic senses
I need never try to scientifically provide anyone a reality
conforming explanation.
The summer air sneaks through our sliding glass door escape
to an eight-floor deck
If I were able to fly, like Superman, I would now be in Japan.
South Korea
Enjoying the Asian music, company, and people
Two cultures better becoming acquainted with each other
A heart longing to reach out to those I sense lost
through my third eye view
Even though the still of each warm Summer or any Season's Portions of time Called "Night"
One shall never be alone... I do see you...
As the Sun has signaled the inner me that now is an ignited flame
roaring brightly, onward, through the upcoming night.

To grow closer to one another
Rather  than us  being the one forcing themselves to be alone.
Is being an open listener.
It's in  true understanding that makes me feel, proud,  to be a part of the many, rather than the one lost, in ones' self, and  alone.
We are all flowers slowly blooming to show our true colors.
Slowly growing past the shallow end of life's pool..
and diving, one after another, from the highest point into the deepest end.....
Of a pool into waters so deep and so very enjoyably cool.....
From a hot and blaring sun...it feels so nice...to escape...
To offer another, thirsty for companionship, an ice filled drink in a full cup....of joy and laughter....
Of the best of me to share...
I grow with and care for all...
The "wonderland flowers" (which  Allow this "****" the chance to grow from what was a "dandelion") and who then  blooms, into being seen as a rose...A fellow "Flower."
As Roses, We might have our thorns...
But we wake up after the damage of blame, shallowness and scorn.
This world might be a rough place, now...
Expanding our garden, for the other blooming flowers, is in the true nature...to leading even our youngest once lost, into life's bigger and larger gardens or oceans..

Of a society to grow from a dark patch of weeds..
Children especially... we need to them help to  grow.
Into a flower ,more beautiful than us elders...
the beauty in all of us shall, surely amongst them, invite them in..
As true support is the fertilizer that they have been free to enjoy, appreciate, and to truly have grown with, and loved to have  known.
For ,after us  older flowers wither and die...
the young seedlings (that are  sprouting and have watched us shine in color....In life's garden....
They shall have  known..
In which truer  which way to in which to  point for the warmth of sun, needed...
rains to water them and to cool them as they grow...
, and how to survive and to duck from the "steps of the bad-souls that try and smash them along the way..."
Their misguided feet missed our young flowers...

They shall be tall and grow even more beautiful...
As we gave them equal in a world where such, beauty is from our truer hearts..
and our life's cups, should remain, always full.
The garden shall then be made to spread "world Wide.."
As we grow
freedom for tearing down, a once too-tall and unneeded, garden wall.

Years of scars
from the horrors of war
in my life
mark my face..
A being trapped on the battle fields
of the insanity which appears
in a family who is a part of the Human Race.
Breaking apart.
There is no glue to keep this family together.
Lost brethren
Lost Loved Ones
Eat my Soul
until there is nothing left
Empty roads that I must travel alone
Leading to laughter inside of my mind
Into insanity.
Forever.
Such a long time.
Who do you turn too
when they appear to be there, however, not an action
or Feeling can bet sought....
As money and the American Rat Race leaves them like mindless
robots....
A curse...as you grow older...Shackled by Injury
To both mind and body
That Leaves you less than full
You wish to achieve
But their barriers of authority and allowance will block you
You put on the war paint
You laugh and clap at their promises
Now, you are a Joker's Wild
An insanity ridden and rage filled frothing being
created by their let downs and abscesses
of empty lots called memories
You become an infamous figure written in time's books of
history.

An ancient relic

From an unknown time to the younger.

You are not worthy as an outdated relic.

You become a discarded piece of ancient technology.

Unneeded, avoided, and pushed away from others……

Your time is not Deeply Historic

A museum piece that beauty is never seen emulating from

A cobweb laced unnecessary creation too old to draw any attention

Of those who judged you due to age, unique beliefs, or honest creation

Due to these younger and more appreciated Human machines

Demanding you stay away from town as an ugly unwanted and outdated piece of furniture

No one gets your true meaning.

Youth and the better half can act so immature.

So you must die alone and never succeed due to your “Disease of an older age and disease of not fitting in anyplace.”

The majority make their rule.

Slowly executing you.

So they can get rid of what they considered junk

As you didn’t fit perfectly into their requirements to be an equal

or allowed to find a lover, start a family, or have a time when you didn’t have to be studied and misjudged

Due to you being an unwarranted old ghost

Breaking up their events made only for worth sequels

to their shallow expressions and gates to block out what they fail to truly understand or see clearly

They bring death quicker to your door

Trapped to watch them only from afar

A nomad Castaway

Who aged, disappointed, and broke the perfection of their rules and disciplined like we are living in the Soviet Era.

Trash ignored and forbidden from being a part of certain societies or relations

Being a relic from a time that passed and you become

Obsolete and forbidden in every way.

I am one

However, I am not alone.

I am just one of many.

Who has his downfalls, his physical handicaps, or dark feelings

Raising my heart to warm it from the truth and the sun...

I am warmed to the bone.

I spring to life and reach out to the others

Who shares in similar events or life struggles…

I consider them my true sisters and brothers.

We are all links connecting a strong chain

Of true heart changing the world

Standing behind those bullied or weakened by their dark moments

In life, this is the only true way

In which one can be part of many and then be a happy loner

Who has more than enough warmth coming from other caring souls

To warm him through the days.

The day tears into night
The rhythm of the rain sets the tempo
For despair's song
A Delight
For an intoxicated heart to the addiction, it has for pain...
A fake smile
A Dark Mind Lost to the Insane
The soul is the foundation of your life's structure
Each day is the brick
With education fixing the defects in your future.
Years stretch, tall, like the Empire State Building
What you make of the people, places, and events to fill the empty spaces
of the offices inside
Mold into one "Hotel of Pride."

Travels

Our soul and our bodies are always traveling

Two feet stirring up the gravel

As your mind plots the next stop

As the Judge in you Bangs his Gavel.

Disciplining your self too harshly

Yet not excepting redirections

At times you are a fire

A flame that emits light and within such

Reflections.

The pool to cool the anger boils up

Better cool down before the steam causes your bottled ego to explode.

A rocket to the stars

Out of Control

Your wreckage is a battered soul that starts to implode.

An ancient relic

From an unknown time to the younger.

You are not worthy as an outdated relic.

You become a discarded piece of ancient technology.

Unneeded, avoided, and pushed away from others……

Your time is not Deeply Historic

A museum piece that beauty is never seen emulating from

A cobweb laced unnecessary creation too old to draw any attention

Of those who judged you due to age, unique beliefs, or honest creation

Due to these younger and more appreciated Human machines

Demanding you stay away from town as an ugly unwanted and outdated piece of furniture

No one gets your true meaning.

Youth and the better half can act so immature.

So you must die alone and never succeed due to your “Disease of an older age and disease of not fitting in anyplace.”

The majority make their rule.

Slowly executing you.

So they can get rid of what they considered junk

As you didn’t fit perfectly into their requirements to be an equal

or allowed to find a lover, start a family, or have a time when you didn’t have to be studied and misjudged

Due to you being an unwarranted old ghost

Breaking up their events made only for worth sequels

to their shallow expressions and gates to block out what they fail to truly understand or see clearly

They bring death quicker to your door

Trapped to watch them only from afar

A nomad Castaway

Who aged, disappointed, and broke the perfection of their rules and disciplined like we are living in the Soviet Era.

Trash ignored and forbidden from being a part of certain societies or relations

Being a relic from a time that passed and you become

Obsolete and forbidden in every way.

What you want

Seems to be the thing you cannot need.

Emotions are just wasted energy

Strength comes from passion

Isn’t that the blood mixture in which we bleed?

Do you need my touch?

Do you need my heart?

Do you need my soul?

Wants are also needs to balance

The human life force energy toll

That takes away strength if one element

Is neglected

Or another is over consumed

Throwing off nature’s balance

The Human spirit falls to the tip

Of unbalanced scales

Of what is valued and what is undervalued

A crazy debate that rips out psychic

Down to blown up pieces and chips.

I am like an atom bomb
I have been through towns and their storms
Gun shots, flat lines, pushed back to life
To be stabbed in the back by friends and loved ones like a knife.
I exploded like an Atom bomb and took everything with it.
Life placed to rest.
Sick and twisted ruins of a once peaceful man
Fought by the crime and road's challenging the inner true beauty
I make my strong stand.
I've died on the table plenty of times over.
Now the ghost  walks among the living
He snickers at the fakers
He beats out the haters
I know what  insanity feels like
I've been committed and thrown away like garbage
Even through such I still rise up.
Now they brag about being the one who defused "The Atom Bomb."
I let them believe their lies.
Until the next time the city goes up.....

Independence Day is Freedom's Dance
The Dance of our Country
To the songs from our Founding Fathers
Liberty and Equality
Through problems and Victories
Losses and Turmoil
We endure and become stronger
For Independence doesn't limit celebration to one day
It is a way of life
Smiles of those passing by
Sharing this great land
Supporting one another
Is a dream we share
As we dance this dance of Everyday Living
In the land of the Brave
The Land of The Inventors
The land of the Dreamers
The Land of The Hard Worker
The Land of Expansion and Helping Hands
America the Powerful
America The Imperfect
America The Welcoming Hand
Those who simply Ask for a part
to become one with other Proud Members
Of an Empire of Promise
The Celebration, every day,  in this land of Liberty

I am Happy for the moment
I breathe and I am alive
I have this moment in which to make the best of
What creates a Human in Will the conditions
in which to thrive.
I am free at this moment
I am able to enjoy a sunny day
As it turns into a peaceful and is star-filled through this night.
Even though my mind can wander and be feeling the cold of another future moment's plight
I can clear my mind and relax
As such moments that are free from a fight
Free from hectic times and motions
Gives me a chance to reflect and become cheerful
of warmer and more fruitful future sights.
Even if the world should end tomorrow
or the armies of the world should start a war later this night
I can be, at this moment, myself and proud...
Free from anything, at all
from free anything that creates such sorrows.

When my birthday or Christmas came along each year
Presents under the tree or to be opened later on that evening
Drew out my deep and cunning curious calling.
Instincts told me to "look before I leap"
"The Joy comes from the moment more and more as it becomes more near.."

"The Best Things Come to Those Who Wait.."
However, as the "white angels sitting on my right shoulder tried so hard to hold me from doing....
The red devilish guys holding their pitchforks seized my control.
I couldn't hold back, any longer, nor could I hesitate.


I ripped up the surprises and no matter how much I liked the visions that such gifts brought, my guilt had grown.

Life is a lot like the gifts for a Birthday or other festive occasion.
It is time to give those little red devils a future vacation.

Moments are to be cherished.Even though you are excited about where you know the event or moment shall take you...
Let the car glide...
Be good to yourself.
Instead of a cat strung out by his hide.
By rushing the situation, moments, or speeding to pass to the next life adventure, on down life's road...
I drew more pain from this judgemental accident than simply relaxing and enjoying a day's cruize. Slow like a toad.


So, I supported the theory that I was the "cat killed by Curiosity" and opened the traps which lead to other feelings than something grand...
What was to be memorable and bright was rewritten as shady and dark
By the dogs of temptation
pushing me to the death of bright memories and granted access, deservedly, to their Joyous carefree memory land.

****** was alike my father.
If i disappointed his definition of his persona as offspring
I got beaten until I frothed.
If I disobeyed those who claimed to care
They ruled on me like Stalin.
If I wanted a lover - I could not have her in the place we shared.
I was supposed to live and enjoy little
If I dared to question such ideals.. I angered the "great leader."
I'm supposed to be enlightened to supply my income with his state
and expect not one time
That he'd help out his own comrade.
My relatives were alike Fascist orders.
I wasn't what "pure successful people were made of"
I was disregarded and exiled, forever.
I taught myself love, care for others...
Yet, when the chips are down, why cannot I get help to make myself a better life
out of love for another?
Not all men can "do it themselves" or "Find their own way"
without the holy "red cross" intervention.
So why this moral devastation?
Why , if they show times of lessening their ruling care and show their hearts..
why does it touch me so deeply?
Who do I stick around to relive another chapter of "spinning wheels."
Why can't they understand that because they live alike this ruling
why do I?
If I am their cared "for friend"
Why can't they allow me to be myself?
Not a dying eye?
I wish I could wake them.
I care deeply.
On Planning to leave, I realize their lives were lived just as tragic as mine....
So why do, as I plan, to leave the situation, should I become so weepy?

Easy days with magic day dreams
I paint these images to my life's tapestry
As I live such brilliantly lit moments
with the creative gifts handed in my sceems
Maybe the messages are questionable
however clear and profound
they are notable
Noble.
I walk these streets passing my light
Shining to all who are stuck in their darlness
I long to see the days where cities shall become
Bright
Colorful
It only takes one soul to start such a metomorphesis
To bring once darkness sunken areas
Back into the brightness

I will fight to become all that I can be
More than just a shell and an illusion
A soul meant to wonder to perfection and to fly free.

She came into my life.
A beautiful smile.
Beating my limbs
I was dying from the avoidance of lonely days
She played me like a violin.
Sensual and hot nights of hypnotism
To control my good and create the one they thought as evil.
I was her sin.
She beat me
Tried to break me down
Running streets to avoid the law
Puking death until the rescuers found me
I could not break away from this stalker
The crazy lady and the broken backed walker
I was given a gift of release
when I gained my strength and sent her away.
A pink restraining order I held up.
I had no more tears
That I had to finally cry
No more brute blunt forces to my skull
The forced days to toil with the one I thought
who had loved my soul
Now I am free
Now freedom and sunny days
shall light up the damages
that loving her had taken it's toll.

Wanted silent like the dead
Never allowed the freedom to shine
The world cannot see this "zoo animal"
who is locked away....tears are the only objects to shine.
Invites happen when money can pay for a temporary
exit from the padlock paid to become unlocked
He gets a taste of the world
of freedom
As the people around him grow bored and lustful for more silver
His soul is returned to the cage
Until the next pay-check
or interest to play
with the tortured soul
who has limited ways
In which to escape this ritual
of being owned like a slave
He tries to break free
as help never reaches him
He is not the "political" definition
for the charities to choose him
On a selfish whim

They tell you what they expect
They dole out rules and demands
When your heart starts to grow empty
You warn them of what damage they have done
You try to keep your heart together
as they treat you like your dumb.
A piggy bank of sorts
As they become nice when pay day, for you, arrives.
You know
for at least a few days you can be treated right
Until they go back to "over-drill"
I feel like a cadet in the army
The drill Sergent expects
I deliver
I try to find my own way
The drill Sergent demands that you know that you will not make it...
Not in the war....
So you feel rage for them inside
However, your Spirit, above revenge, ceases the calls of your pride.
For years you've failed to become more than what you are
A Caterpillar wishing to become the butterfly..
Held back from the stresses of trying to escape the captivity
You sleep on eggshells just the same as you walk
As you are heckled, hard, when you try to free your pain
through creativity.
Maybe the sun ,some day, will open those controller's eyes
So, they can become more than what they are, a "Drill Master"
And see the errors of harden ways
Stop the opression
And fly with you enjoying freedom's skies.

I look outside the windows and wish to be more free to see the world.
To show gratefulness  for freedom beyond my limitations
So I wish to give back to the world.
Roads to travel
New Cities to see.
New people to sing and share gifts with
Or simply get to know
My limitations have showered me with physical pain and the lack of a truer independence.
If I had the means and generosity for help to get me started
I'd return after my trip and share some deep gratitude.
My illness is not one to shut me up or treat me like a child.
It needs better understanding
Better research
So others stricken can achieve "true wishes granted"
So deeply well

Money is green
So are most government buildings.
Cold and drafty.
Built for cost and Also Shielding.
They try to shield themselves from their nuclear Holocaust.
They ordered the drops of two bombs.
What did it cost?
The ****** of a great president.
Bad vibes to another great
Leader...
Policing other countries..
Getting in the way...
This is not just about politics...
Keep with these words, today.
People hungry.
The rich overlook talent
in their "lower" rooks.
Greed is green like a seed.
However planted, it grows
into a tree
from the ground in which it is planted.
From evil is such
From good is such...
Never a crutch...
Balance this riddle...
As the Joker's Card is Drawn..
Plant your seeds...
In the greener and right Lawn.

A victim of anger
Both inside
Down and out
I clashed with the forces of reality
A scarecrow in the trash
Thrown forth from the energies
storms of "the Stranger."
Wicked beauty...
I rolled down town
A cracked out clown
Down with the sickness
I never wear my permanent frown.
I hold on
I surpass all the danger.
So look at me
Stronger and free
The sun now shines
and the new inner me.

Rap rhymes, kappler,chrystal kaye, poetry, victim of anger

I am at the edge of my sanity.
I have nerves screaming to be free.
Of the corrupt and sufficating place where my soul has been kept.
No way out. No one even understands to help.
I sink deeper into my void.
Invisible.
Tears wetting the pillow where my head has laid and slept.
I am sick of pretending and compromising.
I need to break free.
Or my insanity shall take it's control and **** the beauty that is me.
Is there a soul, who understands enough of me, to take a risk and join forces with me to bust out of this prison?
There must be.
For I have lost most of my vision.
Banging my head against the wall in restless hours.
Watching everyone else get their dues.
After all my loyalty, respect, and hard work....
Why must I be the one hidden away to be the wreck?
Which never deserves or has earned his repair?
Or are all other souls
much more value of to see the one who is dying there?

I need a soul mate
Not out of Desperate Reasons
Not for selfish wants and sick needs...
Darkness of lust and greed are merely dangerous acts and thoughts of Treason.
Watch this heavy heart
Pumping beautiful writings, signals of love and a Human Partner
Calling out for you.
The sight of the one who has chosen me
Running towards my empty life
to add sweetness to a life well rebuilt and refit
With items useful in promoting views of a beautiful soul
Once weighed down in the murky depths of the dark and corrupt
A talented soul and carpenter
Rebuilding his home after destroying it
Out of his mind misguided due to unwarranted emotions
Or anger fits spewing lava of hate and uncomfortable vibes
from the Volcano of a heart exploding as it was lost
and finally erupted.
So him as a new structure
Tall, majestic, and a marvel of the soul and it's architecture
Se the welcome mat welcoming you into his newly rebuilt existence
Worn out from making too many mistakes and harming so many hearts
He warded off and found a new property and better materials
In a well fit area
The reconstruction his light and soul
A marvel of a once misguided mind
waking up and curing his created diseases
of the Hurtful Kind

I am Invisably Independant
A strong machine roaring inventive processes outwardly
As the manager, a friend, and a critic
Fails to see his damages making a dent
Into my side, that possesses the "Superman's Weakness"
The Kryptonite is My Charity and Sensitivity.
Does one use this to their advantage?
"Control this weakling and reap the fruits of his labors?"
No1
He does not know...as I become even stronger, inside..
I shall rise up and smack down his over-inflated pride.
He need not run me like a corporation
But need me as a friend
Instead of Bawling my soul out for Kiddyish mistakes
He needs to wake from his slumber
and Ill faded upbringing
And allow this bird
to start singing, freely.

An open hand
Such you've held out for others
Nights seem to last long
Like Purgatory
Am I Dead?
No. It's just time measured in silent misery.
Connections cold like ice through a computer keyboard
Dreams of chrome shined wheels rolling
Taking one to another
Meet up with Comrades that are deep in your heart
Like a sister or a brother.

thanks
i am giving...
not that i mind
i am just sick of being left to myself.
a frozen watch
hands that once measured
the warm active moments of time..it needs a wind.
my heart is dusty
it remembers some clear and sweet moments
that i yearn for
to spend with others instead of being someone's
knick knack
in need of a dusting on a shelf.
some will stop and say "hello"
since the clock doesn't tick
they only count their finer moments
ones that often replace me in such
minutes of the future
lost and now hollow.
why have you forgotten what the need of this day truthfully  means?
not just obligation to attend another's rythmic
holiday routines
but to have those who feel such company a blessing..
it has been so long on this day of "thanks"
i am giving...
pass the dressing,..
as tears stream even though i am told to like my own  company
these bare and echoing halls slowly drive me insane
as on another company-less holiday
i sit and remember other days
where people truly needed and yearned for my company
instead of flashing memories
looking out a ***** old window pane

Sitting in silence
A happy thought pops into your brain
The scene is quiet
Don't be shy
Let out your inner lunatic
Let yourself laugh and become silly insane.
Walking the streets full of angry people
rushing to get nowhere
You don't have to be part of their world
Images haunt of a quiet white rubber room
Mickey mouse banging his head
smoking a blunt
you start smiling and laughing
As the angry start a half smile and let out a grunt.
The fire has been inside of you all the while
So slide down the sidewalk
And lose your mind in style.

Never too comforted
Signs the changes of times
The clock signals
"musical Chairs"
For those who are on the clock's list of ones "confronted."
A part of this "great machine"
the whistle of the Factory marks the start
of the end of the old "rhythm"
Collides with the flow of "adjustment"
to the Era's last Mark
to the "Comfort" calendar Back to the
"scheduled news" flashing the once "in pace soul"
Back to another "tired pace start."
Might we call this rat race dinner title
"Future's Salad Al a Carte?"

My nerve endings feel as if acid is poured

Upon them eating through

Like rains on ice

My pain sours.

I crap so hard that my ******* feels like concrete trucks

Trying to dump solid concrete

By letting time fly and the mixture hardens

What did I say?

I beg your Pardon?

I wish for this storm to leave

For the Sun to shine…

Until then…

Alone with this pain

This drama is all mine.

Wash it away.
Cleanse my soul
With the gentle rains fresh and new.
A newer form of a once repetitive way.
Tapped in a loop
In time
Rusting like steel...
Rotting away like a corpse...
A boat lost on the oceans....
Needing a fresh chance to Navigate
Open negotiations
Unlock once locked doors....
Shine upon a once darkened stance…
Lost gambling with the odds...
Do you believe what you see with a first glance?
Or do you investigate what you have just been introduced
too…a bright new opportunity…
Or a dark or sinister cover in an overpopulated city?
The way you look at such
Through the colored glasses that you have chosen to wear
can destroy you or the other...
You could even win from this chance...
A needed "element" that has been missing from your life…
Which you have needed OH too much.

As a world, we  need to become united.
One life's force melted into one.
Supporting one another in spirits, all are invited.
To a brighter life and a brighter way.
We shouldn't use a name of a country...
We need to be people.
Have a message? No bloodshed.
Let us be a united peoples and use a sane head.

The holidays
You've earned them.
A rest from work, school, or the grind of life.
A day to remember the miracle which we were given..
Loved ones, sweet memories, a brighter future, and then tomorrow.
From solo gigs on Christmas or New Years
To family get-tethers with family and friends..
It's moments that we make, such as these, that our feelings with never seem to end.

A victim of anger
Both inside
Down and out
I clashed with the forces of reality
A scarecrow  in the trash
Thrown forth from the energies
storms of "The Stranger."
Wicked beauty...
I rolled down town
A cracked out clown
Down with the sickness
I never wear my permanent frown.
I will hold on
I surpass all the danger.
So look at me
Stronger and free
The sun now shines
and the new inner me.

Listen to my voice
Echoing in the background
Can't you hear its message?
As you walk your common grounds?
Can you see where it is coming from?

A heart's signal which feels neglected
it is message is going forth, unheard
A telegraph of s.o.s sent from this Titanic
A sinking feeling from a heart sinking in quicksand…

Cannot save a light
That you fail to pick...
Through the crowds that are gathering in your city of life…
Are you listening to all who live there?
Are you aware?

Or shall they burn out through neglect...
Candles in the wind failing to resend....
A message that they have tried to direct to you...

Or are you Like Stalin
"The Man Of Steel" whose needs and understanding of the few
were built upon a soul on legs
which were unwilling to bend.

I held in too much pride.
Such made the truer me
So much easier to hide.
Fear of being seen as weak as I admitted
That I needed another....
I smiled, instead, and wait for the right moment.
To show the golden dream how and why I care
Why I needed her touch
Her loving presence by my side.
Such is a living dream ready to be played as a movie
On the screens of destiny.  Ooh , a proper ending, we need ohh so much.
True love and in its strength our breaks in our spirits, together, can start their mending.
For you are my "sister golden hair surprise."
As the famed Julian Lennon sings as our theme song.
I call out the name of my Mona Lisa.
Seeing her frown turn to a smile
Is worth more than anything of greed, lust, or fears to vanish in a time from now, not too long.
Always feel my care and best wishes.
For my truer feeling and meanings to become a pair
Is indescribable
As to why and how much I need you there.

I long for the feeling of excitement
Where I’m seen as a bright and artistic creator
A big and warm heart too big to be invisible
A feeling , over the materialistic, that produces power
Which is ,over this, much greater.
Even though I’m older than the one I seek
I am equal,inside, to her youth.
A kind hand, to lift her up, in my energies of this white truth
I might not have the most grand of looks.
A glance of me, what is it that you see?
Look deeper.
Inside, I hold beauty UN-measurable by any shallow standard.
I see you beauty from your soul and inner self.
I’ve tried to reach you.
How do get you to see me? To feel safe in my presence? A energy absorbed,into you, when your eyes open and see I’m your soulmate in truth.
Many days I’ve waited for you. I’ve waited still.
Acid rain of bitter emptiness from the vacant spot where ,by my side,I need for you to stand
Is preserved there. Until you enter and hold this place,by my side, through true living will.
Here my call.
See my messages to you in my poems and paintings.
My face is handsome, even not the most noticed in the contest of vanity.
I may not be eligible due to the level of your fame.
Life and eternity are not rules forever to govern your will.
Run to the one who is the outside unknown.
For he shall be your protector, supportive heart, and loyal partner in your eternity.
Who calls your name every where he roams.
We need each other
Forget what you have been brought up to know of people alike me in the shadows.
You shall never find this prince and matrimonial perfection
Unless you break past the walls that are safe reflections of avoidance of the unknown.
Bust through the walls that keep you reliance on the small prudent crowds​ in which you blindly over rely .
Once you run out of your prison, have both worlds of Fame and the unknown in which you join
I shall forever stay by your side. A true destiny. Soulmate merging,with you as one.
We share become even bigger than the others in your group.
We are the permanent​ flames of energy that no one can ever underestimate