I feel like I'll never understand
The idea of one's appeal
What causes us to hate someone
And think of someone else as 'ideal'

How can we go through our lives
Making decisions every day
When we don't even understand
Why we think this way

Are we simply born this way
Programmed with our opinions
Are we traveling though our lives
Just acting as our emotion's minions

But if that if that truly is case
Then I find it very strange
How at some points in our lives
Our opinions start to change

What causes us to change
What causes this mental shift
Why is it after a certain time
Our old self starts to drift

Do our feelings ever really die?
Can our beliefs so easily sway?
And if our thoughts are what define us
Do our old selves fade away?

What happens when you can't decide
What you think is the right way
Yes, what happens then?
*Maybe we just fade away

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

There are so many times in life
When we are forced to choose
Do we help someone else win
Even if it means that we lose

For me the choice has been easy
Always fill other people with cheer
Even if the choice hurts me,
It's worth it to remove their tear.

There are times when it gets lonely
Putting others before one's self
There are times when it almost feels
Like I put my own needs on a shelf

While doing all I can for others
I try my best to never complain
But even with my best efforts
It's me that gets left out in the rain

When someone needs a friend
I'm always the one that they call
Then when they are feeling better
I'm ignored; left alone too bawl

I don't regret the things I have done
Because it helped show them I care
But sometimes it'd be nice for me
If somebody could be there

Throughout my entire life
I've been hurt putting others first
But never having the favor returned
...that is definitely the worst.

She says, “I'm too tall”
Because she thinks she is too big to be held
She says, “I hate my voice”
Because she can only hear herself in recordings
She says, “I don’t know what I'm doing”
Because she can’t see past her shortcomings

But what she doesn't know is that with her head up to my chin she is the perfect size to fall into my arms and be wrapped in an embrace bigger than her insecurities
Or that the low, velvet tone of her voice that dances from her lips could never be captured by a video
Or that her imperfections cower in the face of her all her strengths

And she doesn't know
That I do.

He saw her sitting and took the chance
Of asking if she’d like to dance
She looked at him and he understood
This dance would be special, and then she stood.

And so they danced the light fantastic
Glides drew gasps at their gymnastic
For each had found their special muse
And dancing made their bodies fuse.

For hours they spun around the floor
And with each step they wanted more
All other dancers seemed to fade
As they danced on in their masquerade.

But when they finally stopped their whirl
There was no sign of his dancing girl
She was in his dreams as she was before
He suddenly woke and she was no more.



©Joe Wilson – The Muse 2014

If I hold this mug of tea tight enough, it mimics your touch and the feel of your warm skin against mine. When I press it to my lips and drink it deep I can remember me breathing in the kisses and lies you poured down my throat and I'll not sip gently I will gulp it all down in the hopes that it could somehow keep you in my mouth. But I hold onto this mug that is warm like you, and I hold on for too long and find it burns my skin and my throat and tongue. It blisters my fingers and boils my lips when I try to touch it, when I try to love it. Just like you did.

for you, a simple silence
save sadness, anger, shame.
found shelter from emotions
that roared like hurricanes

for you, a simple silence
without the thirst for more
just a fleeting breeze consisting
of one i once adored

in the peace and in the quiet
i lay down my weary head
inhale cherry blossoms pink
exhale despair and dread

in the peace and in the quiet
each forward step anew
and though i'll journey far away
i'll always carry part of you