i am hidden somewhere behind hushed
silences, sporadic breaths, and a
fluttering heartbeat

i am sat towards the front of the
class with tears brimming my eyes
and fingers dotted with blood and paint

maybe someone will see me someday

There in the mirror,
My jaw dropped from the terror
Of what I ' ve become

....the way she walks and the way she talks
She is the fairest of folklores
She drains me of words
And drowns me in thoughts
She is the reason I smile
Even amidst a milli reasons to cry;
The magic mat on which I fly
Deep into the fluffy clouds of fantasy
Where only she and I will be,
Watching our lives unfold like a golden scroll
Living every day as it comes......

haunting grey outside,
forced to reminisce.
some believe we should just be.
no mind,
no chemistry,
friends in need.
I was born complete
but now fractured and
blown with Autumn's leaves.
running in place
no direction,
just haste,
faking my way.
the membrane
between me and the pain
is thinning away.


~~~

Stuck
in a ***** two-room apartment
almost out of cigarettes ,
at one in the middle
of a sweaty Chennai night,
sobering up after two days,
famished
and restless
dreaming of mid-night
cigarette shops that never were,
dreaming of alcohol
(just enough to pass out),
checking and rechecking
the spent bottles
and giving up in the end
and settling to tolerate a night
with myself,
walking and babbling
and writing and thinking
and floating up on a great idea
and circling back to the floor
looking for cigarettes,
just waiting for the shutters to lift,
just waiting for this to end,
just waiting.

It was the best metaphor for life
that I've ever known.