Kelly Hogan

Kelly Hogan Oct 17

Is everything okay?
     Everything is great! I had a great day, it's sunny outside, everyone is happy, I love life.

Is everything okay?
     I mean yeah, today was a good day, I got through it fine, it went quick and I learned new things.

Is everything okay?
     I think so, I don't remember anything not being okay...

Is everything okay?
    I don't know, I feel off, did I make a mistake? Did I say all the right things?

Is everything okay?
    Maybe not, is my cat feeling okay? Are my parents alright?

Is everything okay?
     No! I must've done something wrong, I bet everyone is mad at me. I'm lazy, I'm dumb, I can't do anything right!

"Hey, is everything okay?"
     "Oh yeah, totally fine, how about you?"

I don't know why this question repeats in my head when I'm having a good day. Sometimes it's too loud to ignore.

#anxiety #depression #okay #thoughts

Kelly Hogan Jun 2023

It's Getting Pretty Dark

I feel it creeping in again,
The low that has a name,
A darkness I refuse to claim.

And when I'm alone with my thoughts,
It eats me alive,
I don't know if I'll survive.

It tells me I'm nothing,
That I deserve bad things,
And whatever else life brings.

I don't know,
I'm starting to believe it.

#depression #darkness #survive

Kelly Hogan Nov 2021

VA

They said that "Virginia is for Lovers"
But instead that's where I died.

That girl never came back
And I have definitely cried

Over the loss of her innocence,
Her empathy and light

She tried to come back
And shine twice as bright

But I told her to stop fighting
That it was alright

That it was okay to break down
In the middle of the night

What happened was unfair
And it wasn't her fault

But now that's locked up
In the back of the vault

I am not she
And she is not me

But without her
Who would I be?

Kelly Hogan Nov 2020

Apathetic AF

It's like I'm living in small moments of
Other people's happiness.
But who's really 'happy' these days?

Useless ramblings of the numbness that only seems to grow.

#numb #lost #apathy #happy

Kelly Hogan Oct 2020

E

I am empty,
Out of gas
On a forgotten road
I've reached an impasse.

I feel nothing, I am nothing, what's the point anymore.

#gas #empty #impasse #lost #numb