I dreamt I was you.

You wept when you saw yourself

Reflected in me.

The thing about living with ghosts is,
You still feel so alone.

Sad? Don’t eat.
Upset? Grab a drink.
Hell, do both
And try not to think.

Stay up late? Work in 2 hours.
Angry? Get laid.
Do whatever it takes
To get yourself paid.

But in the end, don’t worry about me.
This too will pass, because I want to be free.

By the way, I'm
Feeling sad, alone, depressed, anxious,
Frantic, and seeking medication.
But you wouldn't know, you've
Forgotten me. Lost in your domestic bliss.
Friends get out of sync sometimes.
But I'm not blaming you.
Friends
Forever

Right?

Close your eyes.
Pretend you're somewhere you're not
Maybe even someone you're not.

Think of something that gets you high,
Makes you fly,
Lets you soar through the sky.

That's where you'll find me.
A ray of shine on a cloudy day
Offering a hand to hold.

But it's a mistake,
You begin to shake,
And it's your soul I take.

The words come to me late at night
While I lay in bed, I can't help but
Let myself sink into the absence of light...
And into the mattress.

This is when I miss you.
Okay, that isn't true,
But after a long day
Be it happy or sad,
I realize I can't call
To tell you what kind of day I had.

The words come to me late at night
The ones to tell you that I'm alright
And that I just might
Have found happiness.

I have all these pictures
Of us smiling,
But I didn't know
They would be the only ones.

You accepted me for who I was,
I loved all your flaws,
We were inseparable
Together, we took on our teenage years.

We had dreams
To escape an inescapable town
And avoid unavoidable futures
But I'm the only one that left.

You stayed behind
Though I begged you not to
And shunned me for my desire
To grow.

We were supposed to grow
Old together
But instead we grew
A    p   a    r   t     together.

My mind feels sick
Filled to the brim with self sabatoge
And a non-commital attitude.

Tears right on the edge
Of running down my cheek
And I say "running"
Because even they want to get away from me.

Then there's that exhaustion again
A sour feeling on my temples
And sore eyes from looking in the mirror.

Asking the big questions
I get nowhere
Will I ever find the answer
To why I can't let myself be happy?

Getting inked soon
To remember you.
A stain on my skin
Because the one on my heart
Was wiped clean
When you left.

"He's been having trouble sleeping again. But then he realizes he's been laying in the dark with his eyes open."

There's this green monster
That lives deep inside

People tell me to get rid of it
And believe me, I've tried.

I told him I hate him
But I think I lied

So now he's running rampant
And my hands are tied.

I keep telling myself:
"I will find you in my dreams tonight"
But I never do.

Instead I'm running from
Things with sharp teeth
And an empty feeling I get...

When they don't catch up to me.

Drown your sorrows in music,
It hits you faster than any drug ever could.

I had a dream last night
That you found me again
All open arms and waiting
To forgive you.

But when I woke,
The coppery taste of blood on my tongue
I knew the dream
Was just a lie.

They tell me I look tired.
"Did you get enough sleep?"
"Yes".
(No).

The exhaustion I feel,
Masked with a smile.
Fake enthusiasm
Hides my haunted gaze.

They'll never know
The nightmare that terrorized me
Only to wake in the arms of my love
Broken.

Meditation, medication
It doesn't make a difference.
I wake from a fitful 8 hours
With jaw pain and a foggy mind.

Then put on a smile
As a part of my outfit.
And try to pretend that I didn't
Cry myself awake.

I think of you often
Do you think of me too?
You're probably just busy
I don't want to bother you.

I find myself reaching
For the friendship we had
But I'm left grasping at nothing
And this makes me sad.

Our talks lately are empty,
Shallow and subdued
I don't know what I've done
To make our friendship come unglued

I think of you often
Do you think of me too?
I just want to say
I'll always be here for you.