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Living with a partner who
Thinks they are fine
And refuses to get help
Is not an easy thing

Living with a partner who
I cannot diagnose
I am not a doctor
But they treat me like I am

You never know who
You are coming home to
Who he is with
Or who he will be

Why then do we
Always blame ourselves
And try to be better
When we were always
Good enough
To begin with.
He had a habit of forgetting
That the knife should be
At his left,
Unlike others.
Every morning, she would
mechanically
switch the fork with the knife.


When they finished lunch
she started clearing up
and noticed the knife to his right
again.

That night,
after their routine drew to a close,
They talked.
Slowly, at first.
A touchy subject walks in.

It's time.

Even as the air is knocked from her lungs,
She gets up and scrabbles on the floor.
Nails scratching the carpet.
Eyes scanning the horizon, now black.
Her brain decides to get up,
Her body disobeys.

Her body disobeys.

Isn't that what put her here in the first place?
So what if she is pretty?
So what if her eyes are sparkling emeralds?
Her belly renders her defenceless
from his onslaught.
Isn't it her fault
that it is empty?
Isn't she wrong to want
independence from him?
Mentally, physically, emotionally?
He owned her, didn't he?

He owned her, didn't he.

He explained to her the benefits
of obeying.
Her pretty face wouldn't have been
all those ungainly shades of black.
Her eyes wouldn't have been encircled by blue.
All she had to do was obey
and not tell anyone
but obey.
Her brain rebelled.

Her brain rebelled.

Her body, for once, obeyed.
She stumbled through the hallway
She knocked down her favourite frame-
Their daughter on a pony.
Kitchen, her sanctuary.
She broke her favourite China.
Hurled her utensils.
"I arranged them last week, you *****."
And then she saw them.
The knives.

The knives.

They were inviting  
Her hands were pale, waiting.
His heart corrupt, hating.
*"Knives to your left, darling."
As a sociology student, I found domestic violence  intensely intriguing and wanted to experiment with the same.
My heart is torn
Torn in two
Your love you swore
You swore was true

How do I choose
What can I do?
There's too much to lose
And I won't lose you

Now where do I go?
Where can I go from here?
My feelings I can't let show
My feelings I so... Fear...
I originally started writing this as a song but oh well
We had our monsters under the bed
They kept us from the shadows of night
From peering in the closet
And walking down the hallway

Now just disguised as thoughts in our heads
They keep us from much uncertainty
From peering into our souls
And living our days with joy

But both paralyze
Steal security
And gift us sleepless nights

Fear has great power
It kills and destroys...
But only if power is granted
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