You think about it and you feel every cell in your body tingle with excitement.
You quickly find yourself daydreaming about it more often.
The thought slowly consumes you, more and more each day.
You make a plan and promise yourself to follow through this time.
It becomes more of a task that must be completed instead of the ultimate choice between life and death.
You convince yourself that it is for the best, and next thing you know you are downing a bottle of pills.
You process what you just did and begin to panic.
"Wait" you think.
You are not weak and this is truly what you want, so just close your eyes and let it happen.
You start puking uncontrollably, every stomach content you had.
You feel miserable, terrible.
You cannot let it end this way.
You are a coward, you cannot handle the pain.
How cowardly.