This infected flesh
Covers every inch of this body.
Infected with
Pain
Sadness, yet
Emptiness - a lack of
Emotion.
"Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt"
In the words of hamlet;
Maybe then my
Demons would be set free.
Of all the things that haunt me,
Your ghost is the most prominent.
Of all the memories,
The ones of happiness
Are the most heavy.
My mind is full of pain
And anguish
And a lack of empathy,
And full of anger
And poisonous thoughts.
I long for an escape...

**** you.

*******.

The end.

How does it feel?
To say,
With such dexterity,
That you are sad
Or alone
Or depressed?
But you know nothing of these things.
At least not the way I know them.
Sadness is my bible,
Alone is my prayer,
Depression is my God.
Does that make sense now?
You know so much of
Religion and the like,
Can you begin to comprehend
What I know as daily life?
Do tears not shake your earth
And resonate in your bones
Anymore?
Do muffled sobs become your
Nightly ritual?
Is smiling physically painful?
And silence is deafening,
Even to the quietest ear?
I am all things
Broken and
Used;
Abused.
I am pain and
Loneliness.
I don't know these things:
I am these things.
Good night and good bye
From the blonde girl with
Golden green eyes
And tear stained cheeks.

he’s telling me about the girl at school
he can’t get out of his head,
and how he feels like
it’s always this chain of
"i don’t want all these people that want me,"
(i winced)
“and the one person i want doesn’t want me
in the same way.”
(i inhaled sharply)

i told him he’s overthinking it,
and when he asked, “how do you not?”
(i forgot to breathe)

my eyes got watery, but i blinked quickly
before they could settle
(i exhaled)

and replied,
“i'll let you know.”

Okay. I need to rant. I send you an incredibly long message about how you're my best friend and what you mean to me and how much I love you, and all that you respond with is a picture - not even an actual text. Like honestly? Are you freaking kidding me?? And then you post "I need someone to watch movies with who won't judge me if I try to spoon" hi, best friend over here who likes watching movies with you and always wants to be right next to you but I'm worried that you'll think it's weird. So really? I'm pretty sure that you don't think of me as your best friend and that really hurts. But I guess I shouldn't care. You have friends and I don't, right? Oh my god it's so frustrating. I really am sick of feeling so ****** about myself because of you. I feel on top of the world because I send a super amazing and heartfelt message to my favorite person, and I get **** in return. So thank you for that, it's not incredibly disappointing or hurtful at all (that's pure unadulterated sarcasm). Maybe this is the problem with being best friends with a guy. I am "more sensitive" or whatever, but you've had friends that are girls before, why can't you treat me like them? And you never say I'm pretty or anything, that's hurtful. You'll talk about all these people that are babes, but you never compliment me. I'm really sad because of it. And I'm really angered too. I wish we were inseparable, but you don't care. And I'm so tired of trying with you...good bye (at least for tonight).