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Katie Biesiada Sep 2014
I could take every pill in this bottle
And wash them down
With regrets and sorrow
But that would be selfish...
Right?
If only there was something to
Numb the pain
That didn't **** me or my liver.
I don't turn to drugs
Except for the prescribed ones of course
But they don't work anymore.
Nothing does
Except for days spent in bed
And sleepless nights not spent
Thinking of you or my problems.
I'm a broken person.
And that's all I can say tonight
  Sep 2014 Katie Biesiada
pluie d'été
how funny
he said
finally

inhaling in
the lights
against the night
mixing
with the grey
rolled
between

his forefinger
and thumb

i told her
that i loved her

and she believed me
Katie Biesiada Sep 2014
You're making me feel like crap. I'm going through a weird patch in my depression where I just don't feel like myself and I'm sad all the time, so maybe this is just that part of me talking right now. I know that you're busy. Cool. Just say "yeah that would be fun". Instead, your responses make me feel ****** like I'm doing something wrong and I'm being insensitive to how busy you are. And actually right now I don't know why I'm typing this. It's not your responsibility to make sure you don't say something that upsets me. It's my responsibility. And I need to change that. And yes, I'm changing that for me because I don't really care what other people think of me. But it's kind of ironic that you told me that, seeing as you seem to care what others think of you a lot of the time. Or at least that's my experience. And wow I really sound like a *****. But I'd rather be angry than depressed and sad. But I'm not really angry or upset at all, I'm confused. Something between us has changed. I feel like I annoy you or something. And if that's the case, then just be honest. I'm so tired of trying so hard to be friends with you. It feels like I constantly have to put in so much effort to talk to you or anything. It's exhausting. I love you but it's not worth it for our friendship to be so one sided. And now it sounds like I'm breaking up with you haha. But it's crazy. I feel like you don't treat me the same way you used to and it's sad. I miss that. I miss our old friendship. I miss hanging out on the weekends doing homework. But I guess you don't...
  Aug 2014 Katie Biesiada
pluie d'été
i am waiting for you
and the cracks
between your fingers

at night
when i fall asleep
and dream
about anyone
but you

i feel your absence
and i feel my mind
moving to the space
you hold
over and over

i am waiting
for you
  Aug 2014 Katie Biesiada
amrutha
Every dusk, my roses die like the day
And still I say, " Honey, don't wilt away. "
Katie Biesiada Aug 2014
I find comfort in the sound of ice.
The way it pops
And crackles
Under a wave of water
Rushing into a glass.
It's calming,
Soothing almost;
Fairly pedestrian.
It overcomes the panic
Of ambulance sirens.
It overpowers the annoyance
Of a dog's frantic barking.
It's crazy to think that
I could find such
Warmth
In the sound of something so
Cold.
But it soothes me
After a long day of sound;
Just the sound of ice
And quiet chaos
Before a good night's
Sleep...
  Aug 2014 Katie Biesiada
pluie d'été
sometimes
I love you

and sometimes
I am too afraid
to

does that mean
that I don't?
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