I break the surface
As the water recedes
I'm no longer fighting
Washed up in the weeds

I look for the voice
Calling out to me
Feeling the sand
Away from the sea

I crawl for a while
Then stand on my feet
I take a few steps
Snow following sleet

I walk for the hills
The sun escapes me
The night draws in
Moon lights the quay

There on the pier
You waited for me
You never gave up
You kept calling me

The pain in my heart
I left in the sea
No longer distressed
I'm finally free

By Darren Wall

An old church at the end of the road
Sunflowers spill over the altar
For children grown old.

Alone in the pews
I watch light suffused
Through stained glass windows.

When I was young
And it was my turn
They gave us roses
Told us they still have thorns
Because life would hurt us
When we found it.

Most of us did.

Including me.

Most of us left those four walls.

Most of us moved far away.

Most of us never returned.

Except for me.

The dusty hymnals smell like youth.
The empty sanctuary looks like home.
And I can still see myself by the piano
The sound of my violin
Was bigger than the world.

When it's all over

I step outside and feel the cold.

I was so young.

And now I'm afraid.

I'm getting so old.

I don't know anyone
Filing out the door.
Nobody knows me.

I walk to the B&B.
I ask for a room.
I used to play there so often
They always let me stay for free.


The clerk says it's switched hands
A dozen times or more.
They say the chandelier
Hasn't heard a song in years.

I unpack my suitcase upstairs
And can't help but shed a few tears

For a town
That truly
Forgot
Me.

I'm hidden by barriers
That you cannot see
I'm trapped and alone
But you can see me

I'm muted by noise
That you cannot hear
My screams fall silent
But you know I am here

I'm frozen by fear
Yet my body will hide
The trauma and pain
Leaking inside

I'm fighting the past
To keep history confined
My ignorance clear
I've wasted your time

Messages cease
Friendships break down
Burden too much
To stick around

I'm hidden by barriers
That you cannot see
I'm trapped and alone
Now you've left me

By Darren Wall

Creeping up
A silent foe
Breaking him down
Nice and slow

Crushing all
Hopes and dreams
Bravery fading
silent screams

Fighting on
War and peace
Just to get
A partial release

A little confidence
Suddenly lost,
One step forwards
The ultimate cost

Walls built
A safe distance
Hiding the world
From his existence

A man in a cave
Keeping away
Building the courage
To battle today

Invisible injury
A runaway train
Mental illness
Significant pain

Weakness…
It's how it's perceived
Colleagues find…
It hard to believe

Trauma consumes
His fragile mind
He seeks a spot
That's hard to find

Lack of remorse
Absent support
Pushing him
To obvious thoughts

Away from the public
Away from the noise
Away from the world
He said his goodbyes

Discovered alone
Discovered too late
Discovered the body
Discovered his fate

Tears shed
Guilt ridden hearts
Talking history
Picking him apart

Realisation
Lack of due care
Former colleague...

Empty chair

By Darren Wall

I'm drifting out to sea
Where the storms brew
At peace with the thunder
Entranced by the view

The lighting leads
As my eyes fixate
The violent storm
Communicates

I can't hear your cries
I can't feel your pain
Blind to your attempts
To save me again

The sea crashes
I slip further away
Trapped and alone
It's easier that way

I'm lost in the storm
That keeps you away
Don't cry for me now...
I'll find my own way.

Waking to the trauma
That yesterday brought
Locking in the guilt
And the battles I've fought

The triggered event
Overloads my senses
Occurring each night
Breaking defences

The fights that I have
Invisible to your eye
My heart is strong but
My mind wants to die

Shutting down
My brain cant digest
The repetition
Of Post Traumatic Stress

Waking to the trauma
That yesterday brought
No memory of nightmares
Just the pain that they cause

Darren Wall